Even With a Bad Hand, You Can Bluff and Win

[DISCLAIMER]

In adolescence, while attending Camp Blue Haven with other Churches of Christ youth, I learned how to circumvent religious rules in relation to gambling (the practice or activity of betting: the practice of risking money or other stakes in a game or bet).

While there are a number of biblical verses which address gambling, campers were taught Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Therefore, rather than wagering money, campers placed bets with M&M’s and Reese’s Pieces when playing poker (any of several card games in which a player bets that the value of their own hand is greater than that of the hands held by others, as the player holding the highest hand at the end of the betting wins the pot).

“It’s not gambling, because we’re betting candy instead of money,” one camper stated. With this form of rationalization, I learned how to bluff (to deceive an opponent by a bold bet on an inferior hand). While I wasn’t particularly skillful at poker, I could bluff well enough to win.

At around that time, lyricist Me Phi Me released the album One (1991) that contained the song “Sad New Day”. Relevant to the current blogpost, the lyrics include:

Tell me why this life has to be so hard

Is it all in the cards?

Yeah, deal me a new one

And maybe life won’t be so lonely and gruesome

But I’ma tell you son – before you begin

Even with a bad hand, you can bluff and win

So put your chips on the table, you’re able to do the task

To “win” is to get possession of by effort or fortune. Now, as I contemplate those days at Camp Blue Haven, while considering Me Phi Me’s lyrics, a book that I’ve been steadily reading comes to mind.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote Marcus Aurelius, who stated, “Think of the life you have lived until now as over and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus and live it according to Nature. Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own, for what could be more fitting?” (page 369).

I don’t support unfalsifiable notions, which is why I abandoned Churches of Christ beliefs and now identify as religiously agnostic. Thus, I don’t endorse Aurelius’ appeal to the unfalsifiable concept of fate (often referred to as destiny, implying a predetermined course of events).

Nevertheless, I value the motif of having been dealt a hand in life. Although I see no convincing evidence that some ethereal being dealt my proverbial cards, I’ve metaphorically bluffed and won virtually countless times in life. Of this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 369):

We have an irrational fear of acknowledging our own mortality. We avoid thinking about it because we think it will be depressing. In fact, reflecting on mortality often has the opposite effect—invigorating us more than saddening us. Why? Because it gives us clarity.

If you were suddenly told you had but a week to live, what changes would you make? If you died but were resuscitated, how different would your perspective be?

When, as Shakespeare’s Prospero puts it, “every third thought shall be my grave,” there’s no risk of getting caught up in petty matters or distractions. Instead of denying our fear of death, let’s let it make us the best people we can be. Today.

For the sake of argument, suppose that you were dealt a bad hand – or perhaps repeatedly dealt bad hands – in life. Even with a bad hand, you can bluff and win. By contemplating your inescapable exit from the proverbial poker table (i.e., death), you can devise a winning strategy.

In this way, you could think about death, and do so often. The secret is to win, not to fold simply because you’ve beat yourself mentally before your perceived opponents (i.e., problems of life) face you. Thus, you can deceive an opponent by a bold bet on an inferior hand! Bluff and win!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), Designed by Magnific, fair use

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