Disturbed Duality

[DISCLAIMER]

During an argument with my (then) wife, I foolishly self-disturbed into an angry disposition and threw out my entire music catalogue (approximately 2,000 CDs of mostly purchased content) when confronted with the duality of my Christian identity and irreligious musical preferences.

“Duality” is defined as the quality or state of having two different or opposite parts or elements. On one hand, I subscribed to Judeo-Christian practices. On the other hand, I owned CDs of musical acts such as heavy metal band Slipknot.

For context, on their third studio album Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses), released in 2004 when the verbal disagreement with my wife took place, Slipknot featured a song entitled “Duality”. Lyrics include the following:

I push my fingers into my eyes

It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache

But it’s made of all the things I have to take

Jesus, it never ends, it works its way inside

If the pain goes on

My wife criticized my behavior by use of Matthew 6:24 which states, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” For additional context, one source states

Slipknot have some Satanic references in their music, and many people question their beliefs, especially on Internet forums. But it’s all part of the image of the band. Corey Taylor has described himself as an Atheist, in fact, particularly in his 2013 book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven.

Regardless of whether or not Slipknot merely used satanic imagery and concepts or actually adhered to anti-Christian ideology, I couldn’t reject my wife’s rational proposition (that which was based on both logic and reason). For instance, consider the following syllogism she used:

Form (hypothetical) –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

Example –

If you can’t serve two masters while professing to be a Christian when actively supporting Slipknot, then you demonstrate to others that you love evil influence while despising the teachings of God.

If you demonstrate to others that you love evil influence while despising the teachings of God, then you’ll keep your CD collection rather than continuing your attempt to convert me to Christianity.

Therefore, if you can’t serve two masters while professing to be a Christian when actively supporting Slipknot, then you’ll keep your CD collection rather than continuing your attempt to convert me to Christianity.

I couldn’t contend with my wife’s rational proposal, as the duality of values that I maintained was evident. Thus, when faced with this moral and ethical dilemma, I responded poorly by self-disturbing toward an unpleasant cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral outcome.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and one Believes an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s one’s unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

As an example, my wife rationally criticized my dualistic behavior (Action) and I unproductively Believed, “I shouldn’t be a hypocrite and it’s horrible that I’ve caused her to doubt my faith, because I couldn’t stand being the useless Christian who couldn’t convert her to this religion!”

With that unfavorable attitude, I upset myself into the unpleasant Consequence of rationalizing my behavior (cognitive), I experienced anger (emotive), I felt hot all over my body (sensational), and I threw out thousands of dollars of CDs (behavioral). I still regret that unfortunate outcome.

Nevertheless, I practice unconditional acceptance (UA; another technique of REBT) to keep from further disturbing about the irreplaceable music I tossed out. For context, some of the CDs in that collection were special releases and are now unavailable. C’est la vie (such is life).

Many years after my divorce, I had a girlfriend who was a devout Catholic. To my surprise, she admitted to liking Slipknot’s music. Apparently, I wasn’t the only person who experienced duality. In propositional logic, the ability to generate the dual of any logical expression is thus:

Form (De Morgan’s Theorem 2) –

The negation of (p or q) is equivalent to (not p and not q).

Example –

Proposition: In order to achieve success with REBT, you recommendatorily should frequently practice this psychotherapeutic modality, regularly utilize the ABC model, or routinely use UA.

Negation: You will not achieve success with REBT if you do not frequently practice this psychotherapeutic modality, regularly utilize the ABC model, and routinely use UA.

Thankfully, by the time I was involved in an intimate partner relationship with the Catholic woman I frequently practiced REBT, regularly utilized the ABC model, and routinely used UA. A decade after the dissolution of that relationship, I’ve once again been reminded of Slipknot.

Today, when listening to a DJ set by I Hate Models, the exceptional DJ (in my opinion) mixed “Duality” by Slipknot into his energetic set. Rather than experiencing anger that resulted from beliefs about my wife’s words or regret associated with the memory of yesteryear, I smiled.

Looking back two decades ago (when I was with my wife) and one decade ago (when I was with my girlfriend), I’m content with my current position in my life. Although some dualities still remain, I’m in full acceptance of the fact that I’m little more than a fallible human being.

You, too, may be able to achieve a similar outcome regarding your beliefs about the undesirable events of your existence. Duality or not, I suspect that REBT can help improve your level of functioning and quality of life. If you’d like to know more, I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost electronic dance music (EDM)-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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