Metaphor: Life's a Dance

[DISCLAIMER]

Given that I’m the world’s foremost hip hop and electronic dance music (EDM)-influenced Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) psychotherapist, it may surprise people to learn that in high school I watched a fair amount of CMT (Country Music Television). I enjoyed it a lot!

One popular song from that period in my life was by John Michael Montgomery, called “Life’s a Dance”, from his album Life’s a Dance (1992). Regarding the track, one source states:

The song is a mid-tempo, in which the narrator gives the example of being too scared to ask a girl out when he was 14 years old. The girl ends up moving away and he never had the chance to ask her. The narrator goes on to refer to life as “a dance” and says that “you learn as you go”.

I appreciated the metaphor (a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them). Within a decade of the song’s release, I lived in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil.

Keeping in mind the metaphor of life as a dance, learning as I went through the intricate leading and following of my existence, I was introduced to a form of martial arts that appeared as though it was a style of dance. Concerning this matter, one source states:

Capoeira is an Afro-Brazilian martial art and game that includes elements of dance, acrobatics, music, and spirituality.

It includes acrobatic and complex maneuvers, often involving hands on the ground and inverted kicks. It emphasizes flowing movements rather than fixed stances; the ginga, a rocking step, is usually the focal point of the technique. Though often said to be a martial art disguised as a dance, capoeira also serves as a way to maintain spirituality and culture.

Capoeira has been practiced among black Brazilians for centuries. The date of its creation is unknown, but it was first mentioned in a judicial document under the name Capoeiragem in 1789, as “the gravest of crimes”. In the 19th century, a street fighting style called capoeira carioca was developed. It was outlawed and its performers persecuted.

The term “carioca” is a demonym used to refer to residents of the city of Rio de Janeiro, Brasil and their culture. Bestowed the title of “honorary carioca” by chauffeurs serving the Marine Security Guard program to which I was attached, I appreciated life as a capoeira dance.

This modified metaphor fit well with my military perspective at the time. It involved a delicate dance that could also be used to defend oneself from attackers. All these years later, I’m reminded of Montgomery’s song and capoeira as I read a book.

As REBT is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher and emperor of Rome Marcus Aurelius who stated, “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, because an artful life requires being prepared to meet and withstand sudden and unexpected attacks” (page 288). I disagree.

Isn’t what Aurelius described precisely what capoeira is, a method of defending oneself from would-be attackers—in the case of slaves who were forbidden by slave masters from practicing a martial arts dance? Of Aurelius’s take, authors of The Daily Stoic predictably state (page 288):

Dancing is a popular metaphor for life. One must be limber and agile and go along with the music. One must feel and follow and flow with their partner.

But anyone who has tried to do something difficult, where there is competition or an adversary, knows that the dancing metaphor is insufficient. Nobody ever gets up on stage and tries to tackle a dancer. The dancer never gets choked out by a rival.

At this point in the book, I’ve come to anticipate that authors of The Daily Stoic may be appealing to people who lead mundane lives and uncritically consume unjustified generalizations (e.g., people working corporate jobs, rarely having had an opportunity to test their mettle).

I’m no such individual! Then again, I unconditionally accept that some people paint with broad brushes, some people undiscerningly ingest that sort of paint-by-the-numbers approach to life, and then there are people like me. In any case, the authors go on to state (page 288):

For a wrestler, on the other hand, adversity and the unexpected are part and parcel of what they do. Their sport is a battle, just like life. They are fighting an opponent as well as their own limitations, emotions, and training.

Life, like wrestling, requires more than graceful movement. We have to undergo hard training and cultivate an indomitable will to prevail. Philosophy is the steel against which we sharpen that will and strengthen that resolve.

If a person so chose, one could make the argument that Brasilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ; a self-defense system, martial art, and combat sport based on grappling, ground fighting, and submission holds) is a metaphorical dance in its own right. Thus, I have little appreciation for overgeneralization.

Harkening back to Montgomery’s song, the artist stated, “Life’s a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don’t worry ‘bout what you don't know. Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.” Isn’t that a Stoic perspective on rational living?

Be it any given style of dance, capoeira, wrestling, BJJ, or whatever, I invite you to use the metaphor that works for you! If that means you’re stuck in a cubicle and lean on overgeneralized drivel from people who shun dancing metaphors, then go with a wrestling metaphor.

Use whatever metaphor works, because life’s a dance. You learn as you go!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Freepik, fair use

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Fromkazanwithlove. (n.d.). Two people practicing capoeira martial arts at sunset on the beach [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/premium-photo/two-people-practicing-capoeira-martial-arts-sunset-beach_310134756.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=44&uuid=1a8302b1-d1a3-4303-a47e-9c3c60654107&query=capoeira

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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