Morning Routine

[DISCLAIMER]

When addressing mental, emotional, and behavior health needs, I invite the clients with whom I work to approach wellness from a holistic perspective. In addition to the psychotherapeutic modality I mainly use, I encourage clients to integrate daily practice of self-care into their lives.

Also, I draw a distinction between self-care and self-soothing. The latter is merely a matter of relaxation (relief from tension) while the former involves some degree of chosen suffering (intentionally enduring pain or discomfort, often for personal growth, purpose, or meaning).

When newer clients hear me advocate the intentional selection of daily suffering, I often receive responses of bewilderment. After all, the common narrative regarding mental health care relates to cathartic release (elimination of discomforting feelings through one’s preferred processes).

As an example, a client who hasn’t worked with me long enough to understand the distinction described herein may choose to receive a pedicure at a spa as some form of cathartic self-soothing. Fine. After one’s toes are pampered, this person’s problems will still remain.

Over time, the individual will learn that the main method for reducing unchosen suffering is to treat oneself to a form of escapism through pedicures. How helpful is this practice? To expand upon the concept of unchosen suffering, consider what one source states:

Unchosen suffering refers to challenges or discomfort beyond our control that we do not willingly invite into our lives. Sometimes, life throws curveballs at us — the stuff we never saw coming. This can include unexpected illness, loss of loved ones, accidents, or other forms of adversity that are beyond an individual’s control.

No matter how pleasant it is and how pampered one’s toes may be through use of self-soothing, this escapist approach to mental health improvement arguably isn’t helpful when matters of unchosen suffering remain. Thus, I advocate chosen suffering so that one can deal with hardship.

By facing difficulty head-on, in small increments through chosen suffering, one may be better prepared to navigate the complexity of unchosen suffering elements which are inherent in life. This is one reason that the modality I practice aims to help people get better, not feel better.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Authors of The Daily Stoic quote Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus who stated (page 35):

“Ask yourself the following first thing in the morning:

·  What am I lacking in attaining freedom from passion?

·  What for tranquility?

·  What am I? A mere body, estate-holder, or reputation? None of these things.

·  What, then? A rational being.

·  What then is demanded of me? Meditate on your actions.

·  How did I steer away from serenity?

·  What did I do that was unfriendly, unsocial, or uncaring?

·  What did I fail to do in all these things?”

Contemplation of these matters “first thing in the morning” is something I advocate with clients, as well as incorporating into my own life, as part of a morning routine (habitual or mechanical performance of an established procedure). Still, some clients express hatred of this practice.

This is when I employ a concept known as use of self (personal disclosure of the psychotherapist or life coach’s experiences in order to build and maintain the therapeutic alliance). For instance, I invite you to take a look at the following photo:

Taken in 2012, when I was in graduate school for social work and weighing approximately 250 pounds, I structured my garage for physical training (exercise). Affectionately referred to as the “house of pain,” I’ve conducted routine chosen suffering therein for well over a decade.

Currently, I weigh 180 pounds. I’ve not used any prescription medication or sought after surgical procedures to reduce my weight. Rather, I saw a problem (obesity) and opted for incremental suffering of my own choosing to address the matter. As such, morning routine has benefited me.

Regarding this approach to wellness, authors of The Daily Stoic state, “Every day, starting today, ask yourself these same tough questions. Let philosophy and hard work guide you to better answers, one morning at a time, over the course of a life” (page 35).

Personally, the best answer regarding my overweight condition was to choose short-term suffering each morning so that I could stave off long-term suffering caused by my weight – this includes consequences at cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral levels.

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, my morning routine gave me a new lease on life. Setting up my house of pain was one of the best decisions I made upon moving into my home. Perhaps a similar strategy could prove beneficial to you, even if you don’t have space for a home gym.

If you’re willing to tolerate daily low-level suffering of your choice so that you can also improve your level of functioning and quality of life for moments when unchosen suffering inevitably occurs, then I encourage you to start with a morning routine of your own. Embrace the suck!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2025, March 2). A demanded thing is a necessary one. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-demanded-thing-is-a-necessary-one

Hollings, D. (2024, November 10). Catharsis. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/catharsis

Hollings, D. (2022, October 24). Chosen suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/chosen-suffering

Hollings, D. (2024, October 29). Cognitive continuum. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/cognitive-continuum

Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences

Hollings, D. (2024, June 3). Daily self-care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/daily-self-care

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, April 29). Embrace the suck. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/embrace-the-suck

Hollings, D. (2025, April 21). Eustatheia. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/eustatheia

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2022, May 31). Holistic approach to mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/holistic-approach-to-mental-health

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, January 14). Level of functioning and quality of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/level-of-functioning-and-quality-of-life

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, June 23). Meaningful purpose. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/meaningful-purpose

Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health

Hollings, D. (2024, June 2). Nonadaptive behavior. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/nonadaptive-behavior

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, June 20). Peering behind the proverbial curtain of mental health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ peering-behind-the-proverbial-curtain-of-mental-health

Hollings, D. (2024, March 6). Psychopathy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychopathy

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Rational vs. irrational. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-vs-irrational

Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, May 6). Self-care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-care

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2025, April 4). Serenity now. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/serenity-now

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering

Hollings, D. (2024, January 11). Therapeutic alliance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/therapeutic-alliance

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2024, November 23). Use of self. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/use-of-self

Hollings, D. (2024, September 29). Well, well, well. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/well-well-well

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Epictetus. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epictetus

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

Wyndo. (2024, February 28). On chosen vs. unchosen sufferings. Medium. Retrieved from https://wyndomb.medium.com/on-chosen-vs-unchosen-sufferings-f72d781c67d7