Needlessly Self-Disturbing
As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) was formed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis, who reportedly developed the first cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) psychotherapeutic modality in 1955, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding his book, Ask Albert Ellis?: Straight Answers and Sound Advice from America’s Best-Known Psychologist.
When providing psychoeducational lessons on the two main techniques of REBT, the ABC model and unconditional acceptance, I occasionally receive some type of challenge in the form of, “So what, am I supposed to just accept whatever happens to me?” No!
The distorted inference in this question is that one shouldn’t, mustn’t, or oughtn’t to simply accept any perceivable event that one considers disagreeable. As an example, if someone punches you in the face, then the misunderstood view of REBT is to merely accept the event.
I practice and advocate use of REBT, though I’m not encouraging people to practice a sort of Buddhism. As I understand the philosophy of many Buddhists, virtually all (if not absolutely any) events which one considers disagreeable should, must, or ought to be accepted as is.
Personally, that perspective doesn’t sound appealing from a hypothetical, theoretical, philosophical, spiritual, or pragmatic concept of how one should, must, or ought to live. Ergo, I’m not advocating a type of Buddhist approach to life. Similarly, Ellis stated (page 4):
REBT does not say, “Roll over and accept whatever happens to you.” REBT teaches you to change what you can, but to recognize that ranting and raving about things you can’t change is irrational – that is, dysfunctional – and likely to make you needlessly disturbed.
To be needlessly (not needed—a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful) disturbed (experiencing or exhibiting emotional disturbance—a departure from a norm or standard: a deviation, disruption, or impairment in form, function, or activity—or agitation) is irrational.
By this, I mean that it isn’t in accordance with both logic and reason (i.e., irrational). I say this as one who maintains that there’s no convincing evidence for objective rationality. Whereas some Buddhists consider it rational to do nothing when punched in the face, I say that’s irrational.
Still, one source states, “Shaolin Monastery, also known as Shaolin Temple, is a Mahayana Buddhist monastic institution recognized as the birthplace of Chan Buddhism and the cradle of Shaolin kung fu.” Therefore, some Buddhists may very well punch you if you punch them.
Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use
In any event, the case made by Ellis—and the point I’m advocating in this blogpost, as well—is that needlessly self-disturbing about matters over which you cannot control is irrational. Now, I invite you to consider this relatively brief lesson on REBT. To punch back is up to you!
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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