When Things Are Screwed Up, Change What You Can, and Accept Everything Else

[DISCLAIMER]

In common parlance, suggesting that something is “screwed up” means that someone or something is acting or functioning in an erratic, confused, or otherwise undesirable way. A grittier version of this phrase is to say that something is “fucked up,” also “messed up.”

In hip hop, the expression “screwed up” may also reflect music of the late and legendary Houston, Texas pioneer DJ Screw, who’s best known as the creator of the chopped and screwed DJ technique. I’ve been a fan of this type of music since the late ‘90s!

Noteworthy, the Screwed Up Click was a hip hop collective led by DJ Screw. While some people who don’t liked chopped and screwed music maintain that it’s unfavorably screwed up, I favorably regard screwed up music, because I don’t think it’s unfavorably fucked up.

Given the versatility of the phrase “screwed up,” it’s understandable how context may be necessary when using this common expression. For instance, consider the album Cool Is in Session 3.5 (2005) by New Orleans, Louisiana rapper Fiend.

I’ve been a fan of Fiend’s music since he was with No Limit Records. On the cited album is a song entitled “BBQ at My House” featuring G Style and Kendra Williams. As an aside, I invite you to look at the artwork for this single.

Photo credit, fair use

It features an illustrated man serving what appear to be hamburgers at a cookout. According to my late stepmom, “If it’s burgers and hotdogs, baby, that ain’t no barbeque [BBQ]—that’s a cookout!” Ergo, Fiend’s illustrated single cover is screwed up. That’s not a BBQ! Yet, I digress.

On the track, the rapper reflects upon what I now refer to as the “dark days” of COVID-19. Those truly were some fucked up times, as I’ve written extensively about my views on that era. In similar fashion, Fiend states on “BBQ at My House”:

2020 was messed up

There were times I ain’t wanna ever leave my couch

So, uh, to cheer myself up a lil’ bit

I’ma about to barbeque at my house

2020 was screwed up

Without the Click

All I need is some sun outside wit’ my bitch, whoa

I wanna celebrate

So, y’all, come out

I’ma barbeque at my house

When contemplating Fiend’s arguably healthy perspective, I think of a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). This may be useful at present, as it appears as though the global powers that be are once again overreacting to virus activity (i.e., Hantavirus).

For context, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding the circle of control and USA, Fiend appears to have acknowledged his inability to change (to make different in some particular way or aspect) most aspects related to global authorities having ostensibly overreacted to COVID-19. Thus, he had limited control.

Concerning the circle of influence and UOA, the rapper seemingly recognized that he had the ability to exert some influence over others by inviting them to his home for a cookout—inaccurately labeled as a BBQ, per my late stepmom. Ergo, he maintained limited influence.

Relating to the circle of concern and ULA, Fiend apparently comprehended that he couldn’t control or influence most matters during 2020. After all, he wasn’t responsible or accountable for COVID-19 or the worldwide overreaction to the virus. Therefore, he retained limited concern.

As for the area of no concern, wherein imaginary matters such as whether interdimensional beings of a malevolent nature were blamable for the dark days of COVID-19, I suspect that the rapper was wise enough not to waste what little time he has in life on such nonsense.

He hopefully BBQ’d some ribs, hot links, brisket, pork belly, or chicken—rather than having merely cooked outside mundane items such as hamburger patties and hotdogs—because that was UA in practice. When things are screwed up, change what you can and accept everything else.  

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Apple Music. (n.d.). Cool Is in Session 3.5. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/album/cool-is-in-session-3-5/1823097289

Apple Music. (n.d.). G Style. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/g-style/1570518715

Apple Music. (n.d.). Kendra Williams. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/kendra-williams/371569960

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