Reasoned Choice: What Can You Control?

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The Stoic Epictetus stated, “I tell you, you only have to learn to live like the healthy person does . . . living with complete confidence. What confidence? The only one worth holding, in what is trustworthy, unhindered, and can’t be taken away—your own reasoned choice” (page 378).

For context, as used by Epictetus, the American Psychological Association defines reason as “statement offered to justify an action or decision or to explain the occurrence of an event,” and defines control as “authority, power, or influence over events, behaviors, situations, or people.”

I identify “control,” because Epictetus referred to “choice” (the act or power of choosing—to select freely and after consideration), as in utilizing reasoned choice to consider options when using the sort of thinking which is rational (in accordance with both logic and reason).

Regarding this type of reasoned choice, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding your circle of control, you have the power to use reasoned choice when considering options, though you don’t control most events in life. Concerning your circle of influence, you may try to persuade others to align with your own reasoned choice, yet they may ignore you.

Relating to your circle of concern, you can admit that life is impermanent and uncertain, so you may as well apply reasoned choice when and where you can until you die. As for your area of no concern, that’s merely an imaginary realm in which your reasoned choice doesn’t apply.

Given this framing of UA and reasoned choice, what can you control? Your reactions to everything you can’t control or influence, or about which you’re merely concerned or which is imaginary in nature. Regarding this topic, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 378):

As the Stoics say repeatedly, it’s dangerous to have faith in what you do not control. But your own reasoned choice? Well, for now that is in your control. Therefore it is one of the few things you can have confidence in.

It’s the one area of health that can’t suddenly be given a terminal diagnosis (except for the one we all get the day we’re born). It’s the only one that remains pristine and never wears down—it’s only the user who quits it; never will it quit the user.

I utilize UA on a daily basis, often several times throughout the day. This is a proper application of my reasoned choice. After all, as I frequently tell my clients, the only legitimate control you have in this life regards your reaction to events. This control comes through reasoned choice.

Of this, the authors conclude, “In this passage, Epictetus points out that slaves and workers and philosophers alike can live this way. Socrates, Diogenes, and Cleanthes lived this way—even while they had families and while they were struggling students. And so can you” (page 378).

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

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