Preferences vs. Expectations

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Photo credit, fair use

The idiomatic term “red tape” refers to an official routine or procedure marked by excessive complexity which results in delay or inaction. In my opinion, perhaps one of the best theatrical depictions of this term was featured in the film Brazil (1985), about which one source states:

The film centres on Sam Lowry, a low-ranking bureaucrat trying to find a woman who appears in his dreams while he is working in a mind-numbing job and living in a small flat, set in a dystopian world in which there is an over-reliance on poorly maintained (and rather whimsical) machines and where people found guilty of crimes are liable for the costs of their interrogation by torture.

Brazil’s satire of technocracy, bureaucracy, hyper-surveillance, corporate statism and state capitalism is reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1949 novel Nineteen Eighty-Four, and it has been called “Kafkaesque” as well as absurdist.

Having formerly worked in, with, or for the Departments of Defense, State, Energy, and Veterans Affairs, I’m well aware of how red tape works. Rather, I’m cognizant of how excessively burdensome bureaucratic institutions are and how they don’t actually work well.

During the period of time when I worked in, with, or for government departments, I knew nothing about the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). In particular, I didn’t know that red tape wasn’t what caused my self-disturbed experience.

The ABC model illustrates that when an undesirable Action occurs and one Believes an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s one’s unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence. Perhaps an example is in order.

When subcontracted to the Department of Energy, in nuclear security field, protective force personnel were required to use a “ground guide” when a vehicle was moving backwards. A ground guide is a person that stands at a safe distance behind a vehicle and directs movement.

Additionally, the ground guide was required to don a reflective vest when performing this procedure. As well, an orange cone was required to be placed in front of the vehicle while the backing procedure took place. This was to alert other motorists of the backing up process.

Once the backed-in vehicle was placed in park and all wheels of the vehicle ceased to move, the cone was to be returned to the vehicle for safekeeping. Sometimes the Action of the ABC model is described in an unnecessarily lengthy manner, as demonstrated here.

Therefore, modernized use of REBT narrows the focus of a presenting problem to a succinct point, referred to as the critical A. Concisely, when working in the field of nuclear security, there was red tape associated with the simple procedure of backing up a vehicle (critical A).

When employed as a security police officer at the time, I unhelpfully thought about the procedure, “This is bullshit!” The distorted inference of that assumption was the Belief, “Things shouldn’t be this excessively complex, and I can’t stand the red tape of this job!”

When prescriptively declaring what shouldn’t, mustn’t, or oughtn’t to be the case in any given Action, an individual utilizes one of the four major irrational beliefs addressed in REBT literature known as demandingness. I’ll expand upon this matter more in a bit.

Also captured in my unproductive self-narrative was a second major irrational belief known as low frustration tolerance. Thus, I convinced myself that red tape associated with my job duties was literally unbearable (too unpleasant, painful, or difficult to accept or endure).

When using these unfavorable Beliefs, I self-disturbed into an unpleasant Consequence which was punctuated by additionally unhelpful thoughts (cognitive), irritability (emotive), heaviness throughout my body (sensational), and sulking (behavioral). How was that helpful? It wasn’t!

Addressing unhelpful attitudes with which people self-disturb, the ABC model uses Disputation of these unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Noteworthy, Actions and Consequences aren’t Disputed, as only unproductive Beliefs are challenged.

When working with people to interrogate their demandingness self-narratives, I distinguish between preferences and expectations. A “preference” refers to a greater liking for one alternative over another or others. For instance, I prefer the color blue to the color red.

An “expectation” is a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. As an example, clients and I enter into a contractually-binding agreement whereby I expect payment for the psychotherapeutic and life coaching services which I provide.

Whereas it’s rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) to maintain a legal should belief about contractual services, it’s irrational to maintain that red tape absolutely shouldn’t exist within one’s place of employment. How does one determine which belief is valid?

When providing psychoeducational lessons on how beliefs are comprised, I often use syllogisms. These are logical formulations which are generally comprised of a major and minor premise, as well as a conclusion that follows from these propositions. As an example:

Form (modus ponens) –

If p, then q; p; therefore, q.

Example –

If a contract is a legally enforceable agreement between two or more parties, then when one party fails to uphold their end of the agreement the other party can seek legal remedies.

A contract is a legally enforceable agreement between two or more parties.

Therefore, when one party fails to uphold their end of the agreement the other party can seek legal remedies.

Specific example –

If client X fails to uphold a legally enforceable contract, then I can seek legal remedies against client X.

Client X fails to uphold a legally enforceable contract.

Therefore, I can seek legal remedies against client X.

This proposition follows logical form and is reasonable (justifiable), because established legal doctrine validates the enforceability of contracts. Now, does the same (or even similar) logic and reason support the strong belief that things shouldn’t be excessively complex at one’s jobsite?

Of course not! Although one may prefer for red tape not to exist, maintaining a rigid expectation which isn’t valid will likely cause self-disturbance – no matter how much one irrationally believes something to the contrary. Thus, preferences are flexible and expectations aren’t.

Knowing this key distinction, and applying the knowledge addressed herein, can make a significant difference in how you think, feel (emotions and sensations), and behave. If you’d like to know more about the ABC model, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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