Reacting Emotionally Will Only Make the Situation Worse

[DISCLAIMER]

In 2009, I sustained superficial chemical burns about which one of my medical notes expressed “partial thickness burns over the left ankle/left foot, and partially on the left wrist. He had poured oil into a toilet and had the sudden oil and water explosions.” Perhaps some context is necessary.

Three months after having entered a graduate program for counseling, I spoke with my dad via cellphone while tending to meal preparation. In childhood, I’d enjoyed how my late stepmom used to simmer potpourri oil on the stove, and I had a fragrant pot of oil bubbling at the time.

Simultaneously, I placed a pot of water on a separate burner. Potpourri oil was meant only to be maintained at a slow simmer, though the brown rice I planned on cooking required boiling water. However, I was distracted by the conversation with my dad and accidentally switched the pots.

Venturing off into another room, it didn’t take long before a smoke detector in my apartment began wailing. “What’s going on?” I wondered as my dad continued talking. Making my way toward the kitchen, I observed thick smoke billowing in a straight column to the ceiling.

I realized what I’d done. “Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no,” I said allowed. “Son, what’s wrong?” my dad replied. I didn’t have time to explain, or at least that’s what I thought. Instead, I simply reacted. In retrospect, there were available options which were logical and reasonable (rational).

Primarily, I could’ve turned off the hot burner. I also could’ve smothered the pot with a metal lid. As well, I could’ve retrieved baking soda and dashed it into the pot. Although not the best option, I could’ve simply removed the boiling potpourri pot, placing it on an unused burner.

“Dad, I’m gonna let you go! I’ll call you back,” I quickly said. “Son, what’s going on?” he responded. I then terminated the call. Reacting irrationally, which correlated with the unhealthy negative emotional experience of panic, I gave myself two unadvisable options.

I implore you not to try either of these at home. One, I could’ve placed the boiling oil in the double basin of my kitchen sink. Two, I could’ve poured the potpourri oil into the toilet of my guest bathroom. “Waste goes in the toilet,” I unproductively concluded, and away I went!

I can look back at this incident and rationally ask myself what I was thinking. Yet, there wasn’t much rationality taking place during the actual event. Even though I’d learned during my youth never to mix hot oil and water, I made the situation worse by doing so anyway. Per one source:

The introduction of water to hot oil is a recipe for a violent reaction. Due to the immediate vaporization of water upon contact, it expands rapidly, turning into steam at an exponential rate.

This rapid expansion can lead to the oil being forcefully ejected from the pan, causing it to splatter or, in severe cases, explode. Such incidents not only pose a risk of causing kitchen fires but also endanger the cook with potential burns that can be severe.

During stressful reactivity, an individual can experience high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, inducing the effect of tachypsychia as time perceived by the person either lengthens or slows down. Colloquially, this is referred to as “The Matrix effect.”

Time seemed to have slowed down during my stressful event, and I recall an audible explosion. Inopportunely, I paid the price of emotional reactivity. Recalling this event, I’m reminded of a psychoeducational lesson from a book that I’m steadily reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors state of events such as the one I’ve described herein that “reacting emotionally will only make the situation worse” (page 50). Looking back, the manner in which I responded to the boiling potpourri was foolish. Truly, I knew better than to limit myself to a false binary.

Now, I hope that my tale of a painful event may one day save you some degree of unnecessary suffering. When experiencing undesirable, unexpected, or unpleasant circumstances, I invite you to understand that reacting emotionally will only make the situation worse.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Cooklist. (n.d.). Why you should never add water to hot oil. Retrieved from https://www.cookist.com/why-you-should-never-add-water-to-hot-oil/

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

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Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

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Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

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Scholarly Community Encyclopedia. (n.d.). Tachypsychia. Encyclopedia. Retrieved from https://encyclopedia.pub/entry/33341

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

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