Where the Wild Things Are

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Photo credit, fair use

When attending the Amarillo Community Center in my youth, one of my favorite fieldtrips on which children were taken was to the Amarillo Public Library (i.e., the downtown location). There, adult volunteers read stories to children on specified days of the week.

Those were among some of the brightest moments during otherwise darkened instances of my childhood. In any event, one of my preferred stories was Where the Wild Things Are by the late author and illustrator Maurice Sendak, as one source states of the plot:

The story focuses on a young boy named Max who, after dressing in his wolf suit, wreaks such havoc through his household that he is sent to bed without his supper. Max’s bedroom transforms into a jungle environment, and he winds up sailing to an island inhabited by monsters, called the Wild Things.

The Wild Things try to scare Max, but to no avail. After stopping and intimidating the creatures, Max is hailed as the king of the Wild Things and enjoys a playful romp with his subjects. Finally, Max stops them and sends them to bed without their supper.

However, to the Wild Things’ dismay, he starts to feel lonely and decides to abdicate and return home. The creatures do not want Max to go and throw themselves into fits of rage as he calmly sails away home. Upon returning to his bedroom, Max discovers a hot supper waiting for him.

As a kid, I fanaticized about myself being akin to Max—a ravenous beast that wasn’t intimidated by monstrous characters. In adulthood, I also enjoyed Where the Wild Things Are (2009), a fantasy adventure drama film based on Sendak’s 1963 children’s book of the same name.

All these years later, I now think back to that moment in my history. I was never beastly and there weren’t any monstrous beings to which I was exposed—even if at the time it seemed as though those who initiated traumatic events were likened to the Wild Things (i.e., monsters).

Favorably, I’ve come to understand that although I often misbehaved during my youth, I was merely a fallible human being. I wasn’t a beast worthy of exile. The same is true regarding my flawed caregivers who raised me. It’s with this perspective that I now turn toward a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

What I failed to comprehend as a kid was that I wasn’t my behavior. While Max and I doubtlessly acted out, we weren’t beastly characters. Regarding this outlook, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 219):

To what service is my soul committed? Constantly ask yourself this and thoroughly examine yourself by seeing how you relate to that part called the ruling principle. Whose soul do I have now? Do I have that of a child, a youth . . . a tyrant, a pet, or a wild animal?

A “soul” may defined as the spiritual principle embodied in human beings, all rational and spiritual beings, or the universe. As well, it can be described as the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life. I prefer the latter definition.

In this way, my “soul” is examined as to whether or not it belongs where the while things are, or if perhaps I walk upright with my shoulders back, chest out, and head held high—as a principled individual. Of this consideration, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 219):

To what are you committed? What cause, what mission, what purpose? What are you doing? And more important, why are you doing it?

How does what you do every day reflect, in some way, the values you claim to care about? Are you acting in a way that’s consistent with something you value, or are you wandering, unmoored to anything other than your own ambition?

Impulsive little Max and Deric weren’t bad children. Rather, we behaved badly. Nevertheless, I’m not a kid anymore. Assessing what I do and why I do it is a Stoic method of rational living. Similarly, evaluating and appraising my caregivers through a retrospective lens is pointless.

They weren’t monsters any more than I was a beast. Moreover, the past is passed—it’s unalterable. Thus, examining what was done to me and why it was done is a senseless affair when there truly were no wild things in my past. There were simply fallible human beings.

Unsurprisingly, not everyone agrees with this Stoic perspective. Some people rigidly cling to irrational beliefs about how life must or mustn’t play out. Alas, such individuals are free to self-disturb. All the same, is that what you want to do with the remainder of your life?

Rather than valuing the brighter moments of otherwise darkened instances of your existence, do you prefer to musturbate with unhelpful beliefs? If not, then I encourage you to think critically about what you do and why you do it. Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 219):

When you examine these questions, you might be uncomfortable with the answers. That’s good. That means you’ve taken the first step to correcting your behavior—to being better than those wild creatures Marcus mentions.

It also means you’re closer to discovering what your duty calls you to do in life. And once you discover it, you’ve moved a little bit closer to fulfilling it.

Without the spiritual or secular concept of a soul, it would be easy to throw oneself into fits of rage, as the Wild Things did when Max decided to walk upright—unlike how a beast maneuvers. I imagine that Max came to his senses by an animating principle that began with questions.

“What am I doing?” and “Why am I doing it?” is as rational a place to begin in this regard. And as Aurelius stated, “Whose soul do I have now? Do I have that of a child, a youth . . . a tyrant, a pet, or a wild animal?” So, I ask, what are you doing? Why are you doing it? Where’s your soul?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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