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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

The Disposable Male

 

I make no secret of the fact that when growing up in Texas I befriended a number of Sureños (Mexican gang members), although I was never officially affiliated or formally allied with them. In any case, I sometimes dressed in similar fashion as my cholo gangster friends.

 

This included long tube socks which were fully extended, Nike slide-style sandals, buttoning only the top button of flannel shirts, using Old English letters on the back of t-shirts, and other then-fashionable styles. Only whenever I was mocking thugs did I ever sag my shorts or pants.

 

After graduating high school, I joined the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps. This was done partially as a means of improving the quality of my life. Unfortunately, most of my gangbanger friends were either locked up, killed, or inexplicably went missing at that time.

 

When in the Corps, I befriended a number of Puerto Rican marines. One in particular, “D,” was apparently as proud of his Puerto Rican lineage as I was of my Texas heritage. Learning of my affinity for Mexican people, D purchased a Puerto Rico shirt for me as a gag gift.

 

“Now you can rep for the Boricuas, papa,” my jarhead friend excitedly stated. I don’t know why D and other male Puerto Ricans with whom I associated referred to each other as “papa,” though I didn’t challenge the affectionate expression at the time.

 

Shortly after having left Okinawa, Japan where I spent two years living with D, I wore the Puerto Rico shirt for the first and only time when assigned to the Marine Security Guard detachment in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil. For proof that I donned the apparel, I posed for the following picture:


Contribution photo credit (edited), fair use

 

None of my Sureño friends ever saw the photo, as I would’ve been challenged about my support for a group of people other than Mexicans. Also, the individual with whom I posed in the photo has been replaced with an illustration of a garbage can. There’s a reason for this decision.

 

When recently speaking at a Donald Trump rally at Madison Square Garden, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe stated, “There’s a lot going on. I don’t know if you know this but there’s literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now. I think it’s called Puerto Rico.”

 

I support free speech. Also, I support free expression that is considered offensive. I especially support the ability of people to utter syllables with their mouths which are earnest representations of their thoughts or beliefs, or which are merely intended to shock the listener, fucker! (See?)

 

Aside from advocating natural rights, which are recognized by the U.S. Constitution and associated founding documents, I view Hinchcliffe’s statement through the lens of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). In particular, I consider the ABC model.

 

REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Activating event occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant emotional, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.

 

For instance, when Hinchcliffe freely expressed his joke about Puerto Rico (Action) and an individual unproductively Believed something along the lines of, “People shouldn’t make racist jokes,” it’s one’s unhelpful assumption and not the joke that caused unpleasant Consequences.

 

Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that is used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

 

Although I knew nothing about REBT when befriending Mexicans in my youth, I used a similar method of belief-challenge when they occasionally referred to me as a güero (someone with light skin) or a mayate (derogatory term for a black person). They knew that I was biracial.

 

At any rate, I’ve observed many people condemning Hinchcliffe’s joke while disturbing themselves with an unhelpful belief-consequence (B-C) connection. Even the President of the U.S. Joe Biden weighed in on the matter, clearly referring to Trump’s supporters as garbage.

 

Since observing B-C outrage from various individuals, I’ve wondered where similar righteous indignation was in regard to men being referred to as garbage. To better understand what prompted my logical and reasonable curiosity, consider the following syllogism:

 

Form (modus ponens) –

If p, then q; p; therefore q.

 

Example –

Major premise: If an entire identity group is verbally castigated, then such expression constitutes bigotry.

 

Minor premise: An entire identity group is verbally castigated.

 

Conclusion: Therefore, such expression constitutes bigotry.

 

The meaning of castigate relates to subjecting someone or a group to severe punishment, reproof, or criticism. When overgeneralizing in regard to an entire group of people in such a manner, REBT refers to this process as a global evaluation—negatively rating the collective in an unbalanced way.

 

Such rating is considered irrational—not in accordance with both logic and reason. Thus, castigation relates to prejudice—an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics.

 

Building upon this understanding, bigotry is defined as obstinate or intolerant devotion to one’s own opinions and prejudices. Therefore, the major and minor premises, and established conclusion in the above-indicated syllogism are both logical and reasonable (i.e., rational).

 

Again, I support natural rights. I don’t unnecessarily disturb myself with bigoted speech that castigates an entire group of people. Nevertheless, I do question what I view as hypocrisy—a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not: behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel.

 

As an example, one source reported in 2022:

 

“I have to tell you, in my car with my mother, as a child, this lady [Shania Twain] taught me [Harry Styles] to sing,” he said (via the Daily Star). “She also taught me that men are trash, but to you, the memories you gave me with my mother, I’ll be forever grateful.”

 

Where was the moral outrage about sexism, similar to the absurd claim of Hinchcliffe’s joke apparently equating to racism? Puerto Ricans aren’t a racial category. Although Hinchcliffe’s joke was ostensibly bigoted, it wasn’t racist. Yet, I digress. Where were the claims of sexism?

 

Using a separate example, also from 2022, a dating columnist responded to one individual:

 

Your letter takes me back to a few years ago, when everyone on the internet liked to talk about how “men are trash.” The phrase started as a hashtag a few years back and quickly proliferated as an easy shorthand for women to complain about men.

 

In a 2019 piece for The New Inquiry, writer Asa Seresin referred to this phenomenon as heteropessimism: “performative disaffiliations with heterosexuality, usually expressed in the form of regret, embarrassment, or hopelessness about straight experience.”

 

Heteropessimists rarely stop dating men, Seresin pointed out; they just talk about how men suck. Sound familiar?

 

Such bigotry expressed against men is a form of misandry—hatred of men—and was apparently so popular that the expression had its own hashtag. Where were the claims of sexism? Where was the societal outrage which rivaled that of which Hinchcliffe has received?

 

Perhaps it’s a bit shortsighted to draw upon examples from two years ago. After all, the contemporary fast-paced news cycle allows for information from anything more than a month ago to be memory-holed—causing facts of a memory to be erased or forgotten.

 

Therefore, I’ll instead call upon an October 2024 episode of the Vice President of the U.S. Kamala Harris’ appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast in which the following dialogue occurred:

 

Host: I want to take a moment, and can we try to think of any law that gives the government the power to make a decision—

 

Harris: I know what you’re going to ask.

 

Host: —about a man’s body?

 

Harris: No.

 

Host: Let’s just pause.

 

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Okay, Deric’s really stretching on this one. There wasn’t any overt bigotry expressed in the featured dialogue.” I agree, imaginary reader, there wasn’t any overt bigotry. However, that doesn’t mean that covert bigotry wasn’t used.

 

Because I’ve made the claim, it’s necessary to provide evidence in support of my proposition. According to one source:

 

The Selective Service System [SSS] was established by the Military Selective Service Act (50 U.S.C. app. 451-471a). The act requires the registration of male citizens of the United States and all other male persons who are in the United States and who are ages 18 to 25.

 

Here, I’ve effectively rejected Harris’ erroneous claim. U.S. males are subject to registry for conscription (colloquially known as “the draft”). It doesn’t matter that our nation isn’t currently embroiled in the atrocities of war; men’s bodies are subject to U.S. government law.

 

The fact that the sitting Vice President of the U.S. erred – or was intentionally dishonest – in regard to this matter may be charitably chalked up to Harris’ human fallibility. No one among us is, has ever been, or ever will be perfect. I unconditionally accept this fact.

 

Even so, I argue that covert bigotry in the form of male expendability is a method of treating men like trash or garbage, despite not overtly declaring that men are outright deposable. According to one source:

 

Male expendability, the relative expendability argument, or the expendable male hypothesis, is the idea that the lives of male humans are of less concern to a population than those of female humans because they are less necessary for population replacement.

 

Pregnant women who wish to carry to term are generally burdened by nine months of pregnancy, during which they are arguably subject to increased risk to their health and regarding the well-being of the unborn fetus or child. Men don’t experience similar hardship necessary for population replacement.

 

Therefore, it’s logical and reasonable to conclude that women are valued more in a society for population growth. However, basing the value of women as higher than men for this sole factor is myopic.

 

Without protection of a society, which is historically the responsibility of men, there would be little-to-no ability for women to carry forward a population through the process of childbirth. Thus, men retain value as well.

 

Here is where the matter becomes tricky. The U.S. government requires that males provide protection for our nation if the SSS registry is put into effect during wartime. However, to my knowledge, there is no such requirement for women to support population replacement.

 

In REBT, an absolutistic requirement of this sort relates to the irrational belief of demandingness. As an example, if ordered to do so, all of-age males within the U.S. absolutely should, must, or ought to kill or die for this country while fighting in war.

 

No such requirement exists for women. Females may voluntarily serve in the military if they so choose. However, they aren’t subject to involuntary conscription. Therefore, males are considered disposable while females aren’t.

 

A feminist retort to this claim is that while military service can prove dangerous, not all – or even the majority – of males who voluntarily serve or who are mandatorily conscripted to serve will face loss of life or injury. Also, there are notable benefits associated with military service.

 

Addressing this proposal, consider that one key difference between indentured servitude and slavery is that the former is a contractual agreement, at times with compensation, which ends after a set period of time and the latter is a permanent state of servitude, often without recompense.

 

Arguably, voluntary U.S. military service is a form of indentured servitude. I was paid for my contractual agreement when serving in the U.S. Marine Corps from 1996 to 2007. Also, to my knowledge, military members aren’t technically military or government property.

 

Unflatteringly, slaves are considered property – which makes the practice of slavery one of the most egregious offenses to human dignity, in my opinion. In any case, the promise of benefits through military service doesn’t outweigh the potential of death or injury through conscription.

 

Therefore, I reject the feminist argument to the disposable male hypothesis in this regard. Bear in mind that one definition of disposable relates to that which is designed to be used once or only a limited number of times and then thrown away.

 

Given this prospective, when considering the disposable male hypothesis, Harris’ covert bigotry expressed on the Call Her Daddy podcast essentially relates to men being synonymous to garbage. Herein, I’ve provided more than one example of people expressing this exact outlook.

 

Where is the righteous indignation regarding the devaluation of men within the U.S.? Why are there substantially more people bitching, whining, moaning, and complaining when it comes to Puerto Ricans as a collective though not regarding men as a sociological class of people?

 

Could it be that self-disturbance stemming from unhelpful beliefs on the basis of skin and not sex is more socially acceptable? If so, why might this be the case? Personally, the social reaction to Hinchcliffe’s perceived insult is no more legitimate than my manner of dress when posing as a cholo.

 

By the same token, I maintain that self-disturbance associated with protected rights for U.S. citizens, such as Hinchcliffe, is illogical and unreasonable when castigation of Puerto Ricans is considered reprehensible while rebuke of all men is apparently deemed acceptable.

 

Moreover, as long as males are ostensibly devalued to the point of disposability within the U.S., neither males nor females maintain the justified position of moral arbiters within our society when advocating protection of Puerto Ricans while ignoring those who may be required to protect our nation.

 

Then again, what do you care? I’m just a man who once hung out with Sureños and who adores many Latinos – Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Brasilians (especially Brasilians), and others. Therefore, you are welcome to consider my opinion as little more than basura for disposal.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Bird, D. (2022, April 17). Harry Styles says Shania Twain taught him ‘men are trash’ at Coachella debut. Daily Star. Retrieved from https://www.dailystar.co.uk/showbiz/harry-styles-taught-men-trash-26730160

Federal Register. (n.d.). Selective Service System. Retrieved from https://www.federalregister.gov/agencies/selective-service-system

Fortinsky, S. (2024, October 30). Aubrey Plaza calls out Tony Hinchcliffe’s Puerto Rico joke from Trump rally. The Hill. Retrieved from https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/4962610-aubrey-plaza-condemns-tony-hinchcliffe/

Goldsztajn, I. (2022, April 18). Shania Twain taught Harry Styles that men are trash, he revealed at Coachella. Marie Claire. Retrieved from https://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity/harry-styles-shania-twain-coachella-men-are-trash/

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Yang, A. (2024, October 30). Comedians criticize Tony Hinchcliffe’s jokes at Trump rally. NBC Universal. Retrieved from https://www.nbcnews.com/news/tony-hinchcliffe-criticized-by-comedians-rcna177862

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