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Power to Alter Your Circumstances

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 15 hours ago
  • 6 min read

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

As I’m agnostic in regard to religious and spiritual matters, I find that discussion about God by Stoic philosophers doesn’t persuade me to various posed arguments. For example, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 92):

 

Hold sacred your capacity for understanding. For in it is all, that our ruling principle won’t allow anything to enter that is either inconsistent with nature or with the constitution of a logical creature. It’s what demands due diligence, care for others, and obedience to God.

 

The appeal for “obedience to God” does little (if anything) for my motivation regarding the daily practice of Stoicism. Nevertheless, I value Aurelius’s perspective from a secular outlook. Building upon Aurelius’s quote, authors of The Daily Stoic suggest (page 92):

 

The fact that you can think, the fact that you can read this book, the fact that you are able to reason in and out of situations—all of this is what gives you the ability to improve your circumstances and become better. It’s important to appreciate this ability, because it’s a genuine ability. Not everyone is so lucky.

 

I think of people with borderline intellectual functioning, intellectual disabilities, severe traumatic brain injury, and others who may not have the ability (i.e., mental power) to practice REBT. Further addressing this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 92):

 

Seriously—what you take for granted, others wouldn’t even think to dream of. Take a little time today to remember that you’re blessed with the capacity to use logic and reason to navigate situations and circumstances.

 

This gives you unthinkable power to alter your circumstances and the circumstances of others. And remember that with power comes responsibility.

 

Following the helpful recommendation of the authors, today, I’ve taken the opportunity to contemplate the power I have to alter my circumstances. Stoically, I practice unconditional acceptance (UA) in this regard.

 

For context, REBT uses the technique of UA to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

 

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts related to the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

 

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

 

From the perspective of USA, I have the power to alter only my circumstances. In particular, I can practice UA in regard to the challenging events which I encounter in life. At its core, USA acknowledges that I can control only my reactions to these undesirable events.

 

Similarly, using the outlook of UOA, I admit that while I may have the ability to influence others – preferably not through use of unfalsifiable appeals to religious or spiritual dogma – I have no control or power to alter their circumstances, going against claims by authors of The Daily Stoic.

 

Finally, from the viewpoint of ULA, I recognize that in this impermanent and uncertain life I have virtually no power to alter most circumstances. For instance, I can’t change past events, stop natural disasters from occurring, or control the minds of everyone across the globe.

 

Given this healthy approach to rational living, today, I’ve taken the opportunity to contemplate the power I have to alter my circumstances. Perhaps I’ve been able to influence you to practice UA, though perhaps not. In any case, I’ve controlled my behavior, as that’s all I can actually do.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


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References:

 

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Stephen Covey. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Covey

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