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What Was I Thinking?

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • Jul 7
  • 5 min read

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

On page 60, the authors state, “Why did I do that? you’ve probably asked yourself. We all have. How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking? You weren’t. That’s the problem.”

 

Can you relate to similar moments of disbelief? I can. Admittedly, there’ve been many instances in which I didn’t utilize thinking which was rational (in accordance with both logic and reason). Addressing one such example from childhood, I stated in a blogpost entitled Boggles the Mind:

 

[I] weaved together leftover rubber bands from my older sister’s paper route, forming a couple of interlocked two-foot elastic chains, and attached them to my wrists and the corresponding handlebars of my bicycle. I quickly discovered that Spider-Man couldn’t steer a bike with webs, as there was nothing amazing about my resulting injuries.

 

I recall that foolish episode. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. Imagine it. You look out the window and see a child trying to steer a bicycle with linked rubber bands. You know that disaster is forthcoming. However he doesn’t. Why? Because the child’s in an irrational mindset.

 

Of course, examples of thoughtlessness or foolishness aren’t constrained only to my childhood. I suspect the same is accurate for you. I’ve made some pretty foolhardy mistakes in adulthood. How about you? I’ll offer one last example of mindlessness, this time from adulthood.

 

In a post entitled Reacting Emotionally Will Only Make the Situation Worse, I described an event that took place when I was in graduate school during which I sustained significant burns on my body after mindlessly pouring boiling oil into a toilet. What was I thinking? I wasn’t.

 

I could go on and on about events during which I wasn’t paying attention, or when altogether using irrational thinking, and the unpleasant consequences I endured. Yet, I think you get the point. Regarding such foolishness, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 60):

 

Within that head of yours is all the reason and intelligence you need. It’s making sure that it’s deferred to and utilized that’s the tough part. It’s making sure that your mind is in charge, not your emotions, not your immediate physical sensations, not your surging hormones.

 

During the Spider-Man faux web event I used excitement, joy, and pleasure to guide my behavior. Regarding the exploding potpourri oil occasion I was alarmed, fearful, and excitable when reacting rather than thinking. Neither outcome was pleasant.

 

I’m guessing that you also have similar instances after which you stopped to ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” There’s no shame in that. All the same, I invite you to consider use of Stoic practice in order to approach matters with a more logical and reasonable attitude.

 

And yes, this method of rational living can still be practiced when “unusual but severe period-related mental health problems” associated with hormone shifts and brain size fluctuation occurs during menstruation. “What was I thinking?” You weren’t. That’s the problem.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


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References:

 

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2023, March 22). Boggles the mind. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/boggles-the-mind

Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, August 27). Guilt and shame are choices. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/guilt-and-shame-are-choices

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2024, October 14). Mistakes. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mistakes

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living

Hollings, D. (2025, June 16). Reacting emotionally will only make the situation worse. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/reacting-emotionally-will-only-make-the-situation-worse

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Reactions have consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/reactions-have-consequences

Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Starr, M. (2025, May 17). Scientists discovered structural, brain-wide changes during menstruation. Science Alert. Retrieved from https://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-discovered-structural-brain-wide-changes-during-menstruation

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Spider-Man. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man

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