Wildfire

[DISCLAIMER]

Have you ever experienced a wildfire? I have. On the morning of October 26, 2003, I discovered local news stations reporting on what has since been identified as the Cedar Fire—a highly-destructive wildfire which burned 273,246 acres of land in San Diego County, California.

I had no control or influence over wildfires which blazed through the area in which I lived at the time. In fact, the only matter over which I had control was my reaction to the event. Therefore, along with my (then) wife, I ventured outdoors to take photos of the wildfire for posterity.

Back then, I knew nothing of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and the ABC model that explains a causal effect between irrational beliefs and unpleasant cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral outcomes. Also, I knew little about Stoic philosophy used in REBT.

Now, when a providing a psychoeducational lesson on REBT within this blogpost, in reference to how little control or influence people actually have in life, I reflect upon my helpful response during the 2003 San Diego wildfires. In particular, I didn’t self-disturb about my lack of control.

I didn’t set those fires. As well, I wasn’t personally responsible or accountable for extinguishing them. Therefore, my primary duty related to the safety of me and my wife. Had this not been the case, who knows what consequences may’ve befallen us?

Still, I could control only myself. I wasn’t in control of my wife. Although I could’ve tried to influence her, my wife was free to reject my influence. This matter is a lesson in a Stoic approach to rational living. It also reminds me of an electronic dance music (EDM) track.

When recently listening to an EDM DJ set by Valentina Aguiar, I heard a song by Rüfüs Du Sol entitled “Wildfire (Colyn Remix)”. Lyrics include, “Oh I, I can’t control you. No, I won’t try to tame you. So go live your life. You’re a wildfire.”

One presumes these lyrics could apply to an intimate partner relationship, friendship, familial relationship, or other forms of kinship. Rather than self-disturbing about the fact that you have no control over other people, you could simply admit this truth to yourself and let go.

I’m not inferring that you should, must, or ought to let go of the person. In some cases, that may be necessary. However, I’m inviting you to consider letting go of the illusion of control. You control only your reaction to people who blaze like wildfires. Yet, you don’t control people.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Aguiar, V. (2024, December 22). Melodic techno & progressive house | 1 Valentina Aguiar [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/DJfqjYO9le8?si=aF0Tf2ch1xRr5Zhk

Aguiar, V. [@valentinaaguiardj]. Valentina Aguiar [Official YouTube channel]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7_hUED5gB-xRNQrobDkQ2Q

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Rüfüs Du Sol. (2022, August 11). Rüfüs Du Sol - Wildfire (Colyn Remix) [Official audio] [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/i_dH9OFNU6U?si=Hqto06j-k__61jYO

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Cedar Fire. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cedar_Fire

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Rüfüs Du Sol. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%BCf%C3%BCs_Du_Sol