You Are Not Your Image

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

If asked to describe who you are, how might you respond? Addressing this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic quote the philosopher Epictetus who stated, “You are not your body and hair-style, but your capacity for choosing well. If your choices are beautiful, so too will you be” (page 93).

For years, I used to ask clients, “Who are you?” After I lost count of how many bumbling responses I received, I finally stopped posing the existentialist question when one client replied, “I am God, and so are you. Each of us carries a spark of divinity. We are all God.”

Although I disagreed with that individual’s perspective, at least the client provided a cogent answer – even if it wasn’t one I considered to be in accord with thinking that was both logical and reasonable (collectively “rational”).

Unfalsifiable claims of divinity aside, I contemplate the topic of who I believe I am. Am I the image put forth into society? No. Likewise, you are not your image. Expanding upon this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 93):

It’s that line in the movie Fight Club [1999]: “You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet.” Obviously our friend Epictetus never saw that movie or read the book—but apparently the consumerism of the 1990s existed in ancient Rome too.

Regarding the Fight Club quote and a reference to consumerism, I think it may be useful to briefly define terms. According to one source:

Consumerism is a socio-cultural and economic phenomenon that is typical of industrialized societies. It is characterized by the continuous acquisition of goods and services in ever-increasing quantities.

In contemporary consumer society, the purchase and the consumption of products have evolved beyond the mere satisfaction of basic human needs, transforming into an activity that is not only economic but also cultural, social, and even identity-forming.

Are you the stuff that comprises your image? Suppose you draw on your eyebrows, don false eyelashes, receive lip filler, opt for buccal fat removal, and apply copious amounts of makeup. While looking like the Crypt-Keeper in drag, are you actually a ghoulish character? No.

Bear in mind that you are not your image. Nevertheless, millions (and perhaps even billions) of people form their identities in accordance with consumerism. This concept is in close relation to capitalism, as one source describes the term by stating:

Capitalism is an economic system based on the private ownership of the means of production and their use for the purpose of obtaining profit. This socioeconomic system has developed historically through several stages and is defined by a number of basic constituent elements: private property, profit motive, capital accumulation, competitive markets, commodification, wage labor, and an emphasis on innovation and economic growth […]

Karl Marx frequently referred to the “capital” and to the “capitalist mode of production” in Das Kapital (1867). Marx did not use the form capitalism but instead used capital, capitalist and capitalist mode of production, which appear frequently.

Personally, there’s nothing viewed as inherently wrong with a capitalist system, though I have little doubt many people would disagree. Even so, I understand the major feature of Fight Club related to a critique on this socioeconomic system. For instance, one source states:

Fight Club challenges viewers to reflect upon the mindless consumerism of capitalist societies and the emasculation of men within them, as well as on their own mortality, the nature of identity, and the harms that can arise from both order and chaos.

This last point is the genius of the film: it presents a critique of capitalism, which as an ordered system nonetheless leads to the apathy and nihilism of many, but in its final scene the film also rejects anarchy, a system of organised disorder, as the solution to the existential problems caused by capitalism.

Instead, the film tells us that to find ourselves again we must reclaim our inner childhood innocence, which in turn allows us to hope for the future, to love another, and ultimately to love ourselves and life again.

For many people, consumerism and capitalism play some role in self-image. All the same, you are not your image. Regarding the final scene of Fight Club, mentioned in the last source, I recall being moved by an illustrated collapse of consumerist and capitalist identity structures.

No need to worry, I won’t spoil the film for you. Still, I remember hearing “Where Is My Mind?” by the Pixies, an alternative rock band, from their debut studio album Surfer Rosa (1988) in the final scene of Fight Club. Lyrics include:

With your feet on the air and your head on the ground

Try this trick, and spin it, (Yeah) yeah

Your head will collapse, if there’s nothing in it

And you’ll ask yourself

Where is my mind? [x6]

Where is your mind when self-trapped by the allure of consumerism and capitalism? Is there anything you can purchase that actually represents who you are? No. Even the aforementioned so-called beauty procedures merely form an image. As stated herein, you are not your image.

About this, authors of The Daily Stoic state, “It’s easy to confuse the image we present to the world for who we actually are, especially when media messaging deliberately blurs that distinction” (page 93). One wonders who actually believes the Crypt-Keeper is a thing of beauty.

In any case, it seems as though many people – girls, boys, women, and men – seek to modify their image in accord with irrational standards of supposed attractiveness, as though such modification is who people are. About this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic continue (page 93):

You might look beautiful today, but if that was the result of vain obsession in the mirror this morning, the Stoics would ask, are you actually beautiful? A body built from hard work is admirable. A body built to impress gym rats is not.

While I make no claim herein about what is or isn’t actually beautiful, I do think critically about this matter while posing disputational questions. Where is your mind when irrationally believing that alteration of your external identity will somehow change your internal concept of self?

In conclusion, authors of The Daily Stoic state, “That’s what the Stoics urge us to consider. Not how things appear, but what effort, activity, and choices they are a result of” (page 93). Again, if asked to describe who you are, how might you respond?

Are you the clothes you wear, the makeup clinging to your face, the shoes upon your feet, the brand of cellphone you own, or the membership you maintain at a local gym? Is your appearance truly representative of the complexity of efforts, activities, and choices you’ve made?

Are your beliefs genuinely so shallow that you maintain who you are is forged by your purchases? Even my client who declared oneself to be “God” had a more meaningful answer than the superficiality of consumerist and capitalist possession. You are not your image!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, property of 20th Century Fox, fair use

References:

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