Ego and Self-Deception
- Deric Hollings
- Aug 22
- 10 min read
As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.
The authors quote biographer of the Greek philosophers, Diogenes Laertius, who stated, “Zeno would also say that nothing is more hostile to a firm grasp on knowledge than self-deception” (page 90). Per the American Psychological Association (APA), self-deception is defined thusly:
[T]he process or result of convincing oneself of the truth of something that is false or invalid, particularly the overestimation of one’s abilities and concurrent failure to recognize one’s limitations.
Self-deception isn’t entirely dissimilar to delusion. For context, the APA defines this term as “an often highly personal idea or belief system, not endorsed by one’s culture or subculture, that is maintained with conviction in spite of irrationality or evidence to the contrary.”
One imagines that Zeno of Citium understood that knowledge was endangered by delusion or self-deception, as each of these unhelpful processes are typically illogical and unreasonable (collectively “irrational”) beliefs at odds with evidence. About this matter, one source adds:
[I]n self-deception and delusion the relationship between belief and evidence is unhealthy, which causes delusional and self-deceiving people to form inaccurate accounts of themselves and of the events that concern them. As a result, the delusional and the self-deceived may reject the view of themselves or of reality that people around them share in order to preserve a positive and coherent sense of self.
In short, delusions are irrational beliefs held with unshakeable conviction, as self-deception is a process where one selectively ignores or rationalizes away evidence in favor of a desired belief to avoid uncomfortable truth. Regarding ego, I stated in a post entitled L’Eggo Unhelpful Ego:
In a blogpost entitled Was Freud Right? I addressed Sigmund Freud’s concept of the ego. Noteworthy, the late psychologist Albert Ellis, who originated [REBT], once practiced Freud’s psychoanalytic therapy. Describing his understanding of the ego, Ellis stated:
Much of what we can call the human “ego” is vague and indeterminate and, when conceived of and given a global rating, interferes with survival and happiness. Certain aspects of “ego” seem to be vital and lead to beneficial results: for people do exist, or have aliveness, for a number of years, and they also have self-consciousness, or awareness of their existence.
In this sense, they have uniqueness, ongoingness, and “ego”. What people call their “self” or “totality” or “personality”, on the other hand, has a vague, almost indefinable quality. People may well have “good” or “bad” traits—characteristics that help or hinder them in their goals of survival or happiness—but they really have no “self” that “is” good or bad.
In essence, Ellis appears to have maintained that an individual’s concept of self is neither good nor bad, though a person may have good or bad traits. For instance, person X may have a tendency to embellish (lie) about her positive traits (e.g., I was the best player on the team).
However, person X’s lying – which is generally perceived as a bad or undesirable trait – doesn’t equate to her diminished worth as a human being. Thus, one’s behavior may represent an individual, though actions or traits aren’t indicative of one’s intrinsic value. Ellis continued:
REBT first tries to define the various aspects of the human ego and to endorse its “legitimate” aspects. It assumes that an individual’s main goals or purposes include: (1) remaining alive and healthy and (2) enjoying himself or herself—experiencing a good deal of happiness and relatively little pain or dissatisfaction. We may, of course, argue with these goals; and not everyone accepts them as “good.”
Given Ellis’s interpreted concept of the ego, or concept of self, the ego isn’t a good or bad mental process. Expanding upon the concept of the ego, after previously describing my religious upbringing in the blogpost, I stated in a blog entry entitled Trade Your Egotism in for Stoicism:
Whether from the outlook of my religious foundation, or the viewpoint of scientific formulation, I’ve learned not to place too much emphasis on excesses of the ego. Defining this term, the [APA] states:
1. the self, particularly the conscious sense of self (Latin, “I”). In its popular and quasi-technical sense, ego refers to all the psychological phenomena and processes that are related to the self and that comprise the individual’s attitudes, values, and concerns.
2. in psychoanalytic theory, the component of the personality that deals with the external world and its practical demands. More specifically, the ego enables the individual to perceive, reason, solve problems, test reality, and adjust the instinctual impulses of the id to the demands of the superego.
Perhaps due to ignorance, I think a lot of people misunderstand the function of the ego. For clarity, one source states of the id, ego, and superego concept of psychoanalytic theory:
Broadly speaking, the id is the organism’s unconscious array of uncoordinated instinctual needs, impulses and desires; the superego is the part of the psyche that has internalized social rules and norms, largely in response to parental demands and prohibitions in childhood; the ego is the integrative agent that directs activity based on mediation between the id’s energies, the demands of external reality, and the moral and critical constraints of the superego.
[Sigmund] Freud compared the ego, in its relation to the id, to a man on horseback: the rider must harness and direct the superior energy of his mount, and at times allow for a practicable satisfaction of its urges. The ego is thus “in the habit of transforming the id’s will into action, as if it were its own.”
Given this perspective, the ego balances morals (of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior) and ethics (principles of conduct governing an individual or a group) in relation to the chaos of the id and pretentiousness of the superego. Thus, one may argue that the ego is healthy.
When growing up, I was cautioned about the perils of egotism (excessive conceit or a preoccupation with one’s own importance) rather than the significance of ego death (complete loss of subjective self-identity). This is where my religious and scientific lessons have aligned.
Conceptually, the ego is a healthy and necessary mental process related to oneself. It serves as an action-oriented method of attaining one’s interests and goals. Given understanding about self-deception and the ego expressed herein, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 90):
Self-deception, delusions of grandeur—these aren’t just annoying personality traits. Ego is more than just off-putting and obnoxious. Instead, it’s the sworn enemy of our ability to learn and grow. As Epictetus put it, “It is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.”
Clearly, what the ego actually is – from a psychological standpoint, as outlined herein – contrasts with the philosophical perspective shared by authors of The Daily Stoic. Specifically, I argue that the ego isn’t the “sworn enemy of our ability to learn and grow.”
As mentioned earlier in this blogpost, “Perhaps due to ignorance, I think a lot of people misunderstand the function of the ego.” Thus, authors of The Daily Stoic appear to have fallen prey to a lack of pertinent information about the ego. Nonetheless, they conclude (page 90):
Today, we will be unable to improve, unable to learn, unable to earn the respect of others if we think we’re already perfect, a genius admired far and wide. In this sense, ego and self-deception are the enemies of the things we wish to have because we delude ourselves into believing that we already possess them. So we must meet ego with the hostility and contempt that it insidiously deploys against us—to keep it away, if only for twenty-four hours at a time.
While I concur that self-deception is the hyperbolic “enemy” to progress regarding one’s own interests and goals, I emphatically disagree with the ignorant notion that the ego is a stumbling block to success in this regard. Again, I suspect that flawed comprehension of the ego is at hand.
Use of “hostility and contempt” with a counterbalance to the conceptual id and superego is unwise. Thus, I invite people to dispute irrational beliefs steeped in self-deception or self-delusion, though to do so with the balancing force of the ego in order to see things clearly.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:
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