Be Water, My Friend

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated, “Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions” (page 109).

Regarding this perspective, in a blogpost entitled Free Your Mind, I reflected upon an interview from the late and legendary mixed martial arts innovator and philosopher Bruce Lee who stated:

Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water. Now, you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

Lee advocated flexibility with one’s own outlook in order to remain “formless” regarding one’s own actions. This appears to be the same principle suggested by Aurelius. Building upon this worldview, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 109):

If you bend your body into a sitting position every day for a long enough period of time, the curvature of your spine changes. A doctor can tell from a radiograph (or an autopsy) whether someone sat at a desk for a living. If you shove your feet into tiny, narrow dress shoes each day, your feet begin to take on that form as well. The same is true for our mind.

I can attest to actively training one’s body to flexibly bend so that the curvature of the spine changes over time. This bodily health routine was recommended to me by a physical therapist concerning a military injury to my back.

Similarly, I employ daily practice of REBT techniques to amenably bend my mind over time. This mental, emotional, and behavioral health routine is something I advocate throughout my blog. Related to this method of rational living, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 109):

If you hold a perpetually negative outlook, soon enough everything you encounter will seem negative. Close it off and you’ll become closed-minded. Color it with the wrong thoughts and your life will be dyed the same.

Although I may not know you, as I don’t consider anyone not personally known as a “friend,” I advocate Lee’s perspective in the vein that it was likely meant. Be water, my friend, because it’s a matter of your own personal responsibility and accountability as to how you’ll see the world.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2025, June 17). Daily practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/daily-practice

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2025, September 14). Eternal optimist and mortal pessimist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/eternal-optimist-and-mortal-pessimist

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2024, November 21). Free your mind. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/free-your-mind

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, July 22). Impressions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/impressions

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health

Hollings, D. (2025, September 9). Personal responsibility and accountability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-responsibility-and-accountability

Hollings, D. (2024, May 26). Principles. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/principles

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living

Hollings, D. (2024, July 18). REBT flexibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-flexibility

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

McBride, T. L. (2013, August 14). Bruce Lee be as water my friend [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/cJMwBwFj5nQ?si=lwi5xHqu_LkF5Myd

Thomas. (2018, December 15). (Colorized!) Bruce Lee - Be water my friend [Image]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/V4A37PDduls?si=WZ8wQ1TILqtNcDBW

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bruce Lee. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Lee

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Marcus Aurelius. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Aurelius

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday