Eternal Optimist and Mortal Pessimist

[DISCLAIMER]

During my teenage years, people sometimes used a crude assessment tool to determine each other’s perspectives (the interrelations in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed). Regarding this measurement technique, one source states:

“Is the glass half empty or half full?”, and other similar expressions such as the adjectives glass-half-full or glass-half-empty, are idioms which contrast an optimistic and pessimistic outlook on a specific situation or on the world at large. “Half full” means optimistic and “half empty” means pessimistic.

In common parlance, optimism relates to positivity (e.g., joy and pleasure) while pessimism infers negativity (e.g., sorrow and pain). Helpfully, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines these terms in a more useful way. For instance, the APA defines optimism as:

[H]opefulness: the attitude that good things will happen and that people’s wishes or aims will ultimately be fulfilled. Optimists are people who anticipate positive outcomes, whether serendipitously or through perseverance and effort, and who are confident of attaining desired goals.

I’ve known a relatively limited number of people throughout my lifetime who were genuinely optimistic, seemingly most of the time, and I couldn’t relate to their perspective. In any case, the accepted opposite of optimism is pessimism. The APA defines this term as:

[T]he attitude that things will go wrong and that people’s wishes or aims are unlikely to be fulfilled. Pessimists are people who expect bad things to happen to them and to others or who are otherwise doubtful or hesitant about positive outcomes.

I’ve worked with a relatively small portion of clients who were legitimately pessimistic, apparently most of the time, and I was grateful that my outlook didn’t reflect theirs. All the same, the APA clarifies when defining both optimism and pessimism:

Most individuals lie somewhere on the spectrum between the two polar opposites of pure optimism and pure pessimism but tend to demonstrate relatively stable situational tendencies in one direction or the other.

I once heard a child who rejected false dichotomies respond to the glass-half-full or glass-half-empty tool, “Neither! My glass is shattered!” This individual lived in the same children’s home as I, and it wasn’t uncommon for residents to go beyond pessimism and into nihilism or fatalism.

For the purpose of the current blogpost, I won’t delve into those worldviews. Noteworthy, the APA describes optimists as people who “anticipate positive outcomes.” To anticipate is to look forward to, as certain. Colloquially, this is known as hope (to want something to happen).

Also, the APA describes pessimists as individuals who “expect bad things to happen.” To expect is to consider probable or certain. Given these APA distinctions, there’s a notable difference between looking forward to something and considering something as probable.

In specific, hope relates to optimistically looking forward something positive while hopelessness infers pessimistically considering as probable something which is negative. As an example, I hope you will understand this post. Still, I could consider it probable that you won’t.

The former perspective regards optimism, as the latter outlook concerns pessimism. Recently, when listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Deva Vicci, I thought of optimistic and pessimistic perspectives.

In particular, the DJ played Marsh Area’s 2024 song “Toxic” in which the lyrics state, “Eternal optimist, I’ll make the best of it. Couldn’t see your behavior was toxic for me.”

The vocalist appears to be lamenting the loss of an intimate partner relationship described as “toxic” (extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful). Personally, use of “toxic” to describe any undesirable element of life serves as an unnecessary exaggeration.

For instance, an unfavorable intimate partner relationship may be perceived as harmful to some degree. However, toxicity, as defined by the APA, relates to “the capacity of a substance to produce poisonous effects in an organism.” Ergo, I maintain that the words we use matter.

Allow me to briefly explain why I hold this stance. Using the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I contemplate how the self-disturbing narratives we tell ourselves (i.e., the words we use) have a causative impact on what we feel (i.e., emotions and sensations).

Specifically, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

For example, suppose that your intimate partner breaks up with you (Action) and you pessimistically Believe, “Life is pointless, and I can’t stand this breakup! In fact, it’s so terrible that I shouldn’t ever consider another romantic relationship, because they’re all toxic!”

With this unaccommodating self-narrative, you then feel utterly sad and fell intense heaviness through your body (Consequence). If we simply must unnecessarily exaggerate words to describe unpleasantness, then the words you tell yourself are “toxic” to the way you feel.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Now, imagine that your intimate partner breaks up with you (Action) and you optimistically Believe, “I anticipate that I won’t feel well in the days to come, because it’s natural to be disappointed about the loss of a relationship, though I can weather this unpleasant storm!”

What might you feel when telling yourself this accommodating narrative? I suspect that you’d feel somewhat sad and feel slight heaviness throughout your body (Consequence). Given the pessimistic and optimistic attitudes you could you, which outcome (feeling) would you prefer?

It’s worth nothing that in the song “Toxic”, the vocalist flexibly states, “Eternal optimist, I’ll make the best of it. Couldn’t see your behavior was toxic for me.” Still, aside from rejection of the word “toxic,” I quibble with one other element of this perspective.

The word “eternal” relates to having infinite (limitless) duration. No fallible human being is immortal (exempt from death). We simply aren’t eternal beings – at least not in our imperfect human form.

Therefore, I’d invite one to consider an existence which is mortal (subject to death). After all, all this shall inevitably pass—every aspect of life as we currently experience it. This means that you’re gonna die someday. Thankfully, so will I! (Hopefully sooner than later.)

Before your moment of departure, you can reflect upon the similar thread expressed by the APA when defining optimism and pessimism. Consequently, most of us lie somewhere between the two polar opposites of a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty perspective.

We’re neither purely optimistic nor purely pessimistic, though we tend to demonstrate relatively stable situational tendencies in one direction or the other. Given the Belief-Consequence connection illustrated by the ABC model, you have a choice as to how you view your glass.

Personally, a realist outlook is preferred. This means that, regarding truth about reality, I acknowledge the positive, neutral, and negative aspects of this mortal life. Therefore, I’m something akin to a mortal realist. How about you? What does your glass look like?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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