Control What You Can

[DISCLAIMER]

I’m the sort of old school hip hop head who’ll debate a person about the distinction between a lyricist and a rapper. For example of one I conclude to be a lyricist rather than a rapper, consider Lil Fame (“Fizzy Womack”) of the Mash Out Posse (often stylized as “M.O.P.” and “M.O.P”).

For context, a lyricist concentrates on the art of storytelling, devotes attention toward written lyrics, experiments with wordplay, emphasizes poetic depth, often uses complex rhyme schemes, and utilizes a unique ability to deliver lyrics. Fizzy Womack meets these criteria.

In a blogpost entitled Shootin’, I noted, “Lil Fame states, ‘It’s Fizzy Wo [nickname], dawg, sidewalk executive. Street legend, for real. Rock big necklaces. I make ya chest a mess (yes), so don’t fuck around and get Etch A Sketched! Like that (verbal sounds of a firearm in action).”

Fizzy Womack uses lyricism to artfully address homicide (killing of one human being by another). Rather than saying that one can get shot, the lyricist advises not to “fuck around and get Etch A Sketched,” meaning that one’s life may be intentionally erased. That’s creative!

Alternatively, a rapper is merely a hip hop artist who performs lyrics over a beat, though who isn’t particularly focused on delivery, content, rhyme scheme, or performance. From this perspective, every hip hop lyricist is a rapper of sorts, though not every rapper is a lyricist.

You may disagree with my outlook, and that’s fine. Each of us is entitled to our own opinion (a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter). Personally, self-disturbing with irrational beliefs about another person’s differing attitude is a waste of time.

You’re welcome to disagree. Be disturbed then! Nevertheless, I maintain this approach to rational living through daily practice of  Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) which uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering.

This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).Of course, as is the case with other hip hop heads and I, not all REBT practitioners agree with my perspective.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

To provide an illustrative example of UA, allow me to shift from the lyricism of Fizzy Womack to the flow of CieraTheRapper (also stylized “Ciera The Rapper,” or simply “Ciera” or “Big C” herein). In what’s likely a publicity stunt, I discovered this emcee on the crappymusic subreddit.

With the volume muted, the first video I saw was of Ciera prancing around a Buc-ee’s facility with her ass hangin’ out. As a side note, from Austin to Fort Worth, there’s a Buc-ee’s in Temple at exit 304. As a fallible human being, that’s what I initially thought when seeing the video.

“Oh, great,” I judgmentally thought, “here’s another rapper depicting female emcees as hoes.” As a matter of USA, without use of unhelpful conditional beliefs (e.g., if a woman raps, then she shouldn’t sexualize herself), I acknowledge that my thoughts (not only beliefs) are irrational.

Another time, with the volume on, the second video I saw of Big C was of her rapping barefoot in front of a Kentucky Fried Chicken spot, and with a far less sexualized appearance. This was a clever move, as I think Ciera reps Kentucky. “Oh, shit,” I thought when surprised, “she snaps!”

I then went to Ciera’s official YouTube channel and compared comments to those I encountered on Reddit. This is how I continue practicing REBT outside of client sessions. Many people apparently disagreed with my opinion of Big C’s skills, as this is where UA comes into play.

I imagine that many people who subject themselves to criticism often self-disturb with unfavorable beliefs. The unpleasant consequences of one’s beliefs in this regard are a matter of choice. After all, we have options concerning what outcomes we choose to experience.

For example, the third video I saw of Ciera was tailored specifically for people who criticized her on Reddit. Big C boddied the beat from The Notorious B.I.G. track “Just Playing (Dreams)”, produced by Rashad Smith, from the lyricist’s remastered album Ready to Die (1994).

From my observation, the crappymusic subreddit comments were overwhelmingly positive. Even if they hadn’t been, Ciera controlled what she could. One of the core tenets of USA is acknowledging how little control and influence one has in life.

In fact, the only thing Big C can control is her reaction to negativity. Although she was successful at her attempt to influence the opinions of others on the subreddit forum (UOA), Ciera has as much control over such views as she does over matters related to the past (ULA).

Thus, Ciera commanded mastery over her reaction and produced a diss track to the crappymusic subreddit. Don’t get it twisted, as I’m not coming out as a Big C fan just yet. It appears as though she’s signed with Sony Music Entertainment, so I suspect that she’ll be further sexualized.

I’ll forego a full-throated endorsement of Ciera’s content if she goes the route of Cardi B, Lil Tay, Megan Thee Stallion, Bhad Bhabie, Iggy Azalea, and other female rappers who couldn’t contend with the likes of Rapsody, Eternia, Che Noir, Tiff The Gift, and other female lyricists.

Nonetheless, I appreciate that Ciera appears to have used UA to her favor. Now, I invite you to follow her lead – though not by walking around Buc-ee’s with your ass hangin’ out. Rather, I encourage you to control what you can. Ultimately, that’s the rational thing to do in life.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, property of Sony Music Entertainment, fair use

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