Happy Trails

[DISCLAIMER]

When I was a child, my grandma by marriage used to chain-smoke while watching Western films and television (TV) series with a cold beer in a koozie, as she’d puff on several cigarettes in succession – sometimes using the ember of a finishing cigarette to light the next.

I’d spend hours nestled under her arm as we watched Gunsmoke, Bonanza, The Rifleman, Wagon Train, Rawhide, and other similar programs. Occasionally, various TV stations would air films featuring Roy Rogers, as my grandma and I also watched those. For me, those were happy times.

By the time I was of high school age and able to drive, I spent an inordinate amount of time in Hastings Entertainment (also simply known as Hastings) retail stores. In the ‘90s, Hastings was the go-to source for music and purchases, as well as video rentals, in Bomb City.

If memory serves, the store closest to the home in which I lived with a family that took me in from a children’s home closed at 2300 (or 11 p.m. for those unfamiliar with military time). On many occasions, I was in Hastings when its traditional time-to-go-home song was played.

Featuring his wife Dale Evans, Roy Rogers’s song “Happy Trails” was customarily played shortly before 2300, along with a preprogrammed statement by Hastings, notifying shoppers that the store would be closing. Lyrics to the airplay version of the song are as follows:

Happy trails to you, until we meet again

Happy trails to you, keep smilin’ until then

Who cares about the clouds when we’re together?

Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather

Happy trails to you, till we meet again

Some trails are happy ones

Others are blue

It’s the way you ride the trail that counts

Here’s a happy one for you

Happy trails to you, until we meet again

Happy trails to you, keep smilin’ until then

Who cares about the clouds when we’re together?

Just sing a song and bring the sunny weather

Happy trails to you, till we meet again

By the time those three stanzas completed, shoppers we promptly ushered out of Hastings. Admittedly, on some nights, I stayed in the store as long as I could so I could hear the tune that reminded me of happy trails with my grandma.

Now, when contemplating lyrics of the song through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I consider how aligned the theme is with the tool of unconditional acceptance (UA). In particular, it contains principles of Stoicism. Do you know about this tool?

REBT uses the technique of UA to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA). Arguably, these tools are essential for eudaimonia (a well-lived life).

In my approach to REBT, I also combine author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding Stoicism in specific, one source states of the principles used by Stoics, “Logic helps a person see what is the case, reason effectively about practical affairs, stand his or her ground amid confusion, differentiate the certain from the probable, and so forth.” This aligns with UA.

Presently, I invite you to take the second stanza of “Happy Trails” into consideration. Lyrics state, “Some trails are happy ones, others are blue. It’s the way you ride the trail that counts.” This is a matter of ULA, because most matters in life are beyond our control and influence.

All the same, we can control our response to unhappy trails. This coincides with the teaching of ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus who reportedly stated, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” We don’t control the trail. Yet, we can control our reactions.

In closing, my grandma eventually died, as is an inevitable outcome for us all. Though I couldn’t prevent her death, I could control how I responded. In true Epictetian style, I reacted well. Thus, I didn’t experience wailing and gnashing of teeth. There wasn’t prolonged grieving on my part.

Rather, I reflected on the days of watching Westerns while snuggling with my grandma, also recalling “Happy Trails” playing throughout Hastings at closing time, and considered myself fortunate enough to have experienced my grandma while she was alive. That’s it. Happy trails.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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