It Happens

[DISCLAIMER]

Per one source, “Shit happens is a slang sentence that is used as a simple existential observation that life is full of unfortunate unpredictable events, similar to “c’est la vie”. The sentence is an acknowledgment that bad things happen to people seemingly for no particular reason.”

When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in both my personal and professional spheres of life, I keep in mind this slang expression. In particular, I find it useful when practicing one of the two major techniques of my preferred psychotherapeutic modality.

Specifically, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding a narrative of “shit happens” (or less crude form “it happens”), the slang expression pertains to the circle of concern and ULA. To illustrate this point, consider the hip hop-influenced film Paid in Full (2002).

Property of Miramax Films, fair use

There’s a scene in the film that follows character Ace having been non-fatally shot in the head during a botched burglary. Following the undesirable event, character Rico (played by rapper Cam’ron) uses a brash form of ULA with Ace.

Uncompassionate to Ace’s condition, Rico says, “Aye, yo, eh…niggas get shot every day, B. You[’ll] be aight, nigga. You[’re] tough, right?” Presumably, this is Rico’s way of suggesting that shit happens. As a matter of factual description about reality, Rico is partially correct.

I agree that on a daily basis people are shot somewhere on Earth. Usually, I’m hesitant to quote statistics regarding deaths associated with firearms, because I find that stats are often skewed to represent a particular anti-gun narrative.

Nevertheless, I’m aware of data from resources such as one source that claims, “Every day, 125 people in the United States are killed with guns, twice as many are shot and wounded, and countless others are impacted by acts of gun violence.” For now, I’ll grant this premise.

People get shot (to include self-inflicted gun wounds) every day, B. It happens. One point of contention I have with Rico’s admission, aside from his harsh delivery style and brazen attitude, relates to his suggestion about Ace being all right.

I have a tendency not to assure people that they’ll be “aight,” because there’s no way of me knowing if such a proposition is reliable or valid. Although people get shot every day, there’s no way for me to tell whether or not they’ll actually be aight, B.

Alas, I appreciate the cited scene from Paid in Full. It just so happens that shit happens. Because we can’t control or influence most matters in life, I invite people to practice ULA in order to keep from unnecessarily self-disturbing about unfavorable events. Besides, you tough, right?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Everytown. (n.d.). 58 percent of American adults or someone they care for have experienced gun violence in their lifetime. Everytown for Gun Safety Support Fund. Retrieved from https://everytownresearch.org/graph/58-percent-of-american-adults-or-someone-they-care-for-have-experienced-gun-violence-in-their-lifetime/

FlyBronxBoi718. (2016, October 28). B. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=B

Good Vibes TV. (2021, December 6). Niggas get shot everyday b... [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/-Q1F3CloH-0?si=r_9XNM_fDd3c7Uws

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Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

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ShexxiBaby. (2003, January 29). Aight. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=aight

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