On his 2009 song “Curve,” rapper Cam’ron stated, “Now I told shorty to curve! She like, ‘Curve?’ I’m like, curve! She like, ‘What that mean?’ I’m like, that mean get away from me. Ya breath stink. You heard of TicTacs? Curve, man, get outta here. If Big Pun was alive, he’d tell you, ‘Go that way.’ Curve.”
Cam’ron referenced the late rapper Big Pun’s statement from the 2000 song “It’s So Hard,” in which the Puerto Rican rapper stated, “What you say your name was again? And I know you from where? Elementary school? I don’t know you, mannnnnnnn! Money, not you again, go that way. Loser.”
Both Big Pun and Cam’ron used slang which was popular within hip hop at the time. Telling a person to “curve” or suggesting that an individual should, must, or ought to “go that way” – often while motioning in a desired direction, was a way of saying “you should get outta here.”
Viewing this matter through the lens of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), I recognize the advisement promoted by these rappers as preferential or recommendatory in nature and not of the self-disturbing variety such as use of absolutistic or conditional should statements.
REBT theory maintains that when an unexpected Activating event occurs and a person uses an irrational Belief about the situation, it’s one’s unhelpful attitude and not the undesirable circumstance that causes unpleasant emotional, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
Rather than remaining self-disturbed, an individual is invited to try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that is used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, a person learns to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.
A self-upsetting absolutistic should belief would occur when telling someone, “You better go that way, or else suffer the consequences,” because this rigid form of prescribing to others how to behave leaves little (if any) room for a balanced approach to living.
Likewise, a self-disturbing conditional should belief results when saying, “You either have to curve, or you’ll pay the price,” because this is also a form of inflexible prescription. Absolutistic and conditional should statements aren’t the same as preferential or recommendatory utterances.
For instance, Cam’ron essentially states, “Your breath stinks, so you preferably should curve.” Similarly, Big Pun basically stated, “Man, I don’t know you, so I recommend that you should go that way [motioning in another direction].”
The distinction between self-disturbing and non-self-upsetting narratives may be subtle. A helpful way to distinguish between these types of beliefs and statements is to ask oneself, “What would happen if someone didn’t do as I suggested or demanded?”
If the answer is reflective of an undesired emotion, uncomfortable bodily sensation, or unproductive behavior, then a person is likely using an inflexible variety of demandingness. Otherwise, it’s likely that the belief or utterance is merely a flexible suggestion.
The terms “go that way” and “curve” are now somewhat dated. It’s similar to how in the ‘90s it was popular to tell people to “kick rocks” when expressing a preference or recommendation. Now replacing these terms is the phrase “move around,” described by one source as follows:
Something that you say to tell someone, especially rude, to:
1. get out of your face or get out your face
2. leave you alone
3. move to the next (another person)
4. move to the side
5. get out of your/the way or get out your way
6. get away
7. go elsewhere (relocate)
Providing an example of this modernized expression, rapper Key Glock states on his 2019 track “Move Around,” released on an album with rapper Young Dolph, “Yeah, if you ain’t talking ‘bout no racks on racks, then move around.” Is this a self-disturbing utterance?
Remember what I mentioned about the self-reflective question one may ask to determine the type of belief or statement that’s being used. Rigidity versus flexibility is the key to distinguishing between the types of expressions addressed herein.
In “Move Around,” Key Glock states, “Yeah, I’m ten toes down, fuck around, get put in the ground (Yeah, yeah),” followed shortly thereafter by, “Yeah, if you ain’t talking ‘bout no racks on racks, then move around.” Context matters. So, what have you decided about his utterance?
The rapper utilizes an inflexible conditional should statement that stems from a rigid belief. Presumably, he believes, “I’m fully committed to this lifestyle, so either you should move around or I’ll kill you.” Clearly, this is a self-disturbing matter.
Understanding the difference between preferential, recommendatory, absolutistic, and conditional should beliefs and utterances can afford you the opportunity to un-disturb yourself when prescribing how the world should be. Instead of prescription, perhaps opt for description.
You may prefer that someone move around. Also, you can recommend that an individual go that way. Ultimately, there’s nothing inherently unhelpful about describing how you want a person to curve off into another direction.
However, when rigidly prescribing to yourself, others, and life about what should, must, or ought to be done, you’ll likely upset yourself if or when people don’t obey your commands to move around. What do you think?
Did you find this exploration into rational living helpful, unhelpful, or otherwise? If you’d like to know more about how to stop upsetting yourself with irrational beliefs and utterances, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
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