Retarded

[DISCLAIMER]

The term “retard” refers to a delay or impediment of development or progress: to slow up, especially by preventing or hindering advancement or accomplishment. Similarly, the word “retarded” informally connotes one who’s affected by intellectual disability.

According to one Urban Dictionary submission, “retard” refers to “1. A person with a mental deficiency[.] 2. An offensive term used to refer to someone acting in an irritating or generally stupid way.” Correspondingly, another submission on Urban Dictionary states of “retarded”:

A word used to describe someone who is profoundly stupid. A type of stupidity that is an insult to intelligence itself. Politically correct people would like you to be rude to someone in a less offensive way, perhaps by calling them dumb instead.

This ignores the fact that dumb, idiot, and many other similar insults used today were all old-timey technical terms for retards. It also ignores the fact that any word used to describe someone of below average ability in any area is an insult to someone with average ability or higher in that area.

Thus far, I’ve provided colloquial descriptions of the terms “retard” and “retarded.”  Now, I invite you to consider how the American Psychological Association defines the term “mental retardation,” from which use of the terms examined herein presumably originate:

[A] historical, outdated, and now considered offensive term for intellectual developmental disorder (intellectual disability). Included in DSM-IV-TR, it was characterized by intellectual function that is significantly below average: specifically, that of an individual with a measured IQ of 70 or below on tests with a standard deviation of 15, whose adaptive behavior is impaired and in whom the condition is manifested during the developmental period, defined variously as below the ages of 18 or 22.

In infants, diagnosis was based on clinical judgment. The disorder may be the result of brain injury, disease, or genetic causes and is typically characterized by an impairment of educational, social, and vocational abilities. In DSM–5, intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) and, in DSM-5-TR, intellectual developmental disorder (intellectual disability) replaced the outdated term mental retardation to provide a more accurate and respectful diagnostic category.

Now that terms in common parlance and clinical practice have been adequately addressed, forgive me the matter of personal anecdotes regarding derivatives of the expressions addressed herein. In a blogpost entitled Unconditional Other-Acceptance, I stated:

Hearing from my mother, “You’re fat and ugly, and no one will ever love you,” as I was pummeled to the floor during sporadic beatings, served as a method of conditioning me to believe what I was told. I truly believed I was unlovable.

Further complicating matters, an undiagnosed neurobehavioral disorder paved way for some teachers to call me “dumb” or “stupid.” My mom’s preferred terms for me were “mongoloid,” “retarded,” and, “fucking idiot.”

Not uncommon were the times when beating me that my late mom would question, “What are you, r-r-r-r-retarded!?” At some point in childhood, I began to believe I was as intellectually impaired as perhaps I looked in this photo of me as a young boy:

In any case, I don’t actually have an intellectual disability.  All the same, I continued to receive reinforcement to the contrary. As an example, I stated in a blogpost entitled The Right Angle to Try, as it pertains to the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT):

In high school, when walking to a trailer in which students who weren’t mathematically proficient were housed, I’d sometimes hear jeers from my peers. “Oh, look who’s going to the retard trailer,” someone would shout (Action).

Hearing the taunt, I unproductively Believed, “I can’t stand being thought of as retarded, because mom used to call me a ‘retard,’ and it’s awful being labeled that way!” Due to my unfavorable and rigid self-narrative, I experienced shame (Consequence).

Unaware of REBT and how Disputation of unhelpful attitudes could result in Effective new beliefs, I had an a + b = c experience. However, that’s not the point at which my B-C self-disturbance ended.

Unhelpfully, I went through life self-disturbing with irrational beliefs about the terms “retard” and “retarded.” Such occurrences weren’t limited to my youth. For instance, in a blogpost entitled Spaz on That Ass, regarding my service in the Marine Corps (1996-2007), I stated:

Due to inter-service rivalry, there’s a derogatory joke referencing the supposed low intelligence of Marines which is often used by airmen, sailors, and soldiers. (I’d include coasties, but let’s not be silly.)

The joke states that Marines eat crayons. As one person clarifies, “It is not politically correct these days but autistic and retarded kids eat crayons. Therefore Marines are autistic retarded [k]ids.”

A version of this gag also results when someone says, “I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.” As one person expands, “It’s basically saying you’re stupid and I don’t have crayons to draw out what I’m trying to say to your infantile mind. And even if I had the crayons I don’t have the time to draw it out.”

Throughout my military service, I generally avoided hip hop songs which used these terms about which I self-upset. As an example, lyricist Can-I-Bus dropped the track “Get Retarded” in 1998. It featured Roxanne Shanté and Biz Markie’s 1986 classic joint “Def Fresh Crew”.

Can-I-Bus’s song sampled Shanté’s intro which stated, “We came here tonight to get started, to cold act ill or get retarded.” Then, the Black Eyed Peas released a song in 2003 called “Let’s Get Retarded” which was more controversial than its censored “Let’s Get It Started” remake.

In the uncensored version, the group exclaims, “Everybody (Yeah)! Everybody (Yeah)! Just get into it (Yeah)! Get stupid (Come on)! Get retarded (Come on)! Get retarded (Yeah)! Get retarded!” The hip hop collective wasn’t tardy to the trend of glamorizing retardation.

By the time I was enrolled in a graduate program for counseling (2009-2011), the matter of using “retard” and “retarded” in the field of mental, emotional, and behavioral health care was addressed legislatively. According to one source:

Rosa’s Law is a United States law which replaced several instances of “mental retardation” in law with “intellectual disability”. The bill was introduced as S.2781 in the United States Senate on November 17, 2009, by Barbara Mikulski (D-MD).

It passed the Senate unanimously on August 5, 2010, then the House of Representatives on September 22, and was signed into law by President Barack Obama on October 5.

The law is named after Rosa Marcellino, a girl with Down syndrome who was nine years old when it became law, and who, according to Barack Obama, “worked with her parents and her siblings to have the words ‘mentally retarded’ officially removed from the health and education code in her home state of Maryland.”

Following the Maryland response, with Obama’s direction, other states began changing terms associated with the dated expressions. As an example, I worked for a Texas clinic with the designation “Mental Health and Mental Retardation” that subsequently altered its entire brand.

Of course, not everyone kowtowed to speech codes and language policing. For instance, on 2 Chainz and Future’s 2012 mixtape Codeine Astronauts, Volume 2, the song “Retarded” was released and which featured Caddy da Don. The track referred to “retarded” (crazy) wealth.

Also in 2012, Kevin Gates dropped the track “Retawdid Fa Real” which featured rapper Flow. Using a similar braggadocio approach to the Codeine Astronauts, Volume 2 song, Gates and Flow used “retawdid” (retarded) to indicate an aspirational degree of opulence.

I could list many more hip hop tracks which use “retard” or “retarded.” Still, the point of this post isn’t to create a list of no-no words on rap tracks. Instead, I think it’s worth noting that these terms never had any power over me – not even a little bit.

When I self-disturbed with unhelpful beliefs about my mom’s expression, taunts by students when I was in high school, derogatory verbal portrayals of Marines in adulthood, or content of my main preferred musical genre, “retard” and “retarded” were phrases relating to my problem.

Or as my dad used to say, “That’s an iss-YOU [issue], not an iss-ME!” My unrealistic philosophy about terms of which the federal government eventually intervened on behalf was the unwelcome situation. This remains the case for children and adults alike.

Rather than walking the line of infringement of First Amendment protection, perhaps people can learn the axiom – as I thankfully did – “sticks and stones may break my bones but words shall never hurt me.” If you suggest otherwise, might I offer that your suggestion is retarded?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2023, November 15). Mental retardation (MR). American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/mental-retardation

Apple Music. (n.d.). Caddy da Don. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/caddy-da-don/193211431

Black Eyed Peas. (2009, June 16). The Black Eyed Peas – Let’s Get It Started [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/IKqV7DB8Iwg?si=rzqLH3p-Fsqa0jj4

Canibus – Topic. (2018, July 31). Get Retarded [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/Aeo_V2DP5Ig?si=AGy29iT9R86U8qv3

DJ Fletch02. (2017, June 22). 2 Chainz, Caddy Da Don – Retarded [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/M41gjJveikI?si=yiuyIO9naZM13Ff7

GangsterHits. (2009, January 28). Black Eyed Peas – Let’s Get Retarded [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/LrkEc2V3mO4?si=_s7tSd6SuDDLkvs0

Gaudry, S. (n.d.). Why are there so many jokes about Marines eating crayons? Quora. Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/Why-are-there-so-many-jokes-about-Marines-eating-crayons

Hollings, A. (2022, January 14). Do Marines really eat crayons? Only the red ones. Sandboxx. Retrieved from https://www.sandboxx.us/blog/do-marines-really-eat-crayons-only-the-red-ones/

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2025, June 4). Be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/be-content-to-appear-clueless-or-stupid-in-extraneous-matters

Hollings, D. (2024, March 5). Challenging the B-C paradigm. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/challenging-the-b-c-paradigm

Hollings, D. (2024, September 14). Crazy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/crazy

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Empirical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empirical-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, August 27). Guilt and shame are choices. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/guilt-and-shame-are-choices

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2022, August 31). Iss-me vs. iss-you. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/iss-me-vs-iss-you

Hollings, D. (2025, April 29). It doesn’t matter, because I wasn’t even trying. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/it-doesn-t-matter-because-i-wasn-t-even-trying

Hollings, D. (2022, November 10). Labeling. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/labeling

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Mental, emotional, and behavioral health. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mental-emotional-and-behavioral-health

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, September 4). Pathologizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/pathologizing

Hollings, D. (2023, November 23). Problems. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/problems

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2025, February 24). Reinforcement and punishment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/reinforcement-and-punishment

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2022, August 1). Spaz on that ass. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/spaz-on-that-ass

Hollings, D. (2023, March 7). Sticks and stones. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sticks-and-stones

Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The formula. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-formula

Hollings, D. (2024, October 15). The right angle to try. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ the-rider-the-right-angle-to-try

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2024, September 25). Unrealistic philosophies. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unrealistic-philosophies

Hundredthough. (2008, October 19). Def Fresh Crew - Roxanne Shante' & Biz Markie-1986 [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/_ZIxNDYgVtM?si=7yuuvySJLrd6pKxL

Jones, L. (n.d.). Why do people say Marines eat crayons? (Explained!). Mangful. Retrieved from https://mangoful.com/why-people-say-marines-eat-crayons/

KevinGatesTV. (2012, July 26). Kevin Gates - Retawdid Fa Real feat. Flow (Official video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/0hLb95JNbVg?si=m3eQiTsYPsUBi_P3

Last.fm. (n.d.). Codeine Astronauts, Volume 2. Retrieved from https://www.last.fm/music/2+Chainz+&+Future/Codeine+Astronauts,+Volume+2

NewBliss. (2015). Can somebody please explain the joke “I have neither the time or the crayons to explain this to you” please? Reddit. Retrieved from https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/3qeofq/can_somebody_please_explain_the_joke_i_have/

Rapster tee. (2006, February 09). Ill. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ill

Solve’et Coagula. (2015, September 28). Retarded. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retarded

SPLC. (2011, Spring). A girl and a word. Southern Poverty Law Center. Retrieved https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/spring-2011/a-girl-and-a-word

Spronkey. (2003, November 30). Tardy. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tardy

Tom. (2003, September 17). Retard. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retard

Wikipedia. (n.d.). 2 Chainz. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Chainz

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Barack Obama. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Barbara Mikulski. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Mikulski

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Biz Markie. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biz_Markie

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Black Eyed Peas. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Eyed_Peas

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Can-I-Bus. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can-I-Bus

Wikipedia. (n.d.). DSM-5. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Flow (rapper). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(rapper)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Future (rapper). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Future_(rapper)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Kevin Gates. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Gates

Wikipedia. (n.d.). List of mental disorders in the DSM-IV and DSM-IV-TR. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mental_disorders_in_the_DSM-IV_and_DSM-IV-TR

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Rosa’s Law. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosa%27s_Law

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Roxanne Shante. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roxanne_Shante