Sit Down if You Can't Stand Me

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons about the ABC model of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I often discuss one of the four major irrational beliefs known as low frustration tolerance (LFT). If this belief had a catchphrase it would be something like, “I can’t stand it!”

For instance, suppose that you read one of my blogposts (Action) and unhelpfully Believed, “I can’t stand that a psychotherapist would use crude humor when teaching people about REBT.” Your self-disturbing Belief, and not the post itself, would likely cause irritability (Consequence).

When using LFT self-narratives, people convince themselves that they literally can’t tolerate and accept something. Providing another illustrative example, imagine that you’ve stood upright for a prolonged period of time. What might you unhelpfully conclude after a while?

“I can’t stand another second of this, so I better sit down,” you may believe. In this instance you rigidly maintain that because you virtually can’t stand the event, you literally can’t stand any longer. Thus, you absolutistically better (i.e., should, must, or ought to) sit down.

When thinking of this matter, I’m reminded of the 2020 album Son of a Gun by rapper Key Glock. The anthology contains the song “Rich Blessed n Savage,” in which the entertainer matter-of-factly states, “Sit down if you can’t stand me.”

In essence, Key Glock’s play on words infers that if an individual experiences LFT which causes something like irritability, then the person recommendatorily better sit down. At this point in the blogpost, an individual has options: sit down when self-disturbed or stand by using tolerance.

Although there are other foreseeable options, these are the most straightforward possibilities. When using REBT, especially when LFT narratives present themselves, I advocate standing through use of tolerance. In fact, I advocate use of high frustration tolerance (HFT).

If this belief had a catchphrase it would be something like, “I can stand it!” Thus, you read one of my blogposts (Action) and helpfully Believe, “I can stand that a psychotherapist would use crude humor when teaching people about REBT, even if I disagree with his presentation style.”

With this HFT narrative, which serves as the product of Disputation in the form of an Effective new belief, you experience slight annoyance (Consequence). Unlike irritability, which is closely associated with anger, annoyance is more aligned with disappointment.

Who hasn’t been disappointed before? I suspect that you’ve been annoyed or disappointed so frequently that even though you don’t like this experience you prefer it to irritability and anger. I’d even hazard a guess that you have HFT regarding slight annoyance. Am I wrong?

Given this brief psychoeducational lesson, you’ve learned that rather than changing unpleasant events you can alter what you believe about these occurrences. Thus, you can move from LFT to HFT and endure a consequential outcome with which you likely have a lifetime of experience.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

Genius. (n.d.). Son of a Gun [Image]. Retrieved from https://genius.com/albums/Key-glock/Son-of-a-gun

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, February 24). High frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/high-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2025, January 1). You better believe in something. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-better-believe-in-something

Key Glock. (2020, May 22). Key Glock - Rich Blessed n Savage (Official video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/4q8TwpvQbGE?si=dJZrfIZyqXxZ5l0D

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Key Glock. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Key_Glock