Tolerable FAD

[DISCLAIMER]

Depicted in the above photo are three fashion elements in which I no longer participate, as they relate to a passing fad—a practice or interest followed for a time with exaggerated zeal. In particular, I no longer don Ecko Unltd. apparel, tilt my hat to left, or display dog tags.

While the Ecko Unltd. clothing was merely a fashion choice, tilting my hat to the left and wearing dog tags was done as a means of signaling in-group association. At this point in my life, I consider the latter two fads somewhat distasteful for my personal preference.

Nevertheless, I don’t unhelpfully conclude that because I don’t appreciate a particular fad, other people therefore should, must, or ought not to like or participate in a time limited practice with exaggerated zeal. To determine such a perspective would indicate use of an irrational belief.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

Regarding how people self-disturb with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model uses Disputation of unproductive assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Noteworthy, Actions and Consequences aren’t Disputed, as only unproductive Beliefs are challenged using this tool.

Also, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance. Both the ABC model and UA require devoted practice for success.

When using psychoeducation regarding REBT, I invite people to consider the distinction between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Both of these matters regard Consequences of one’s self-upsetting Beliefs.

In specific, these outcomes relate to cognitive, emotive, sensational, and behavioral experiences. For instance, distress includes frustration, annoyance, disappointment, and other common conditions one may continually experience in life.

Alternatively, disturbance relates to rage, hostility, aggression, and other infrequently-occurring experiences regarding the average individual. In consideration of this matter, I imagine that you’re likely annoyed by your Beliefs about situations on a regular basis.

As an example, your assumptions about spam calls or texts may cause discomfort. Yet, I wonder about how often you engage in episodic road rage concerning your Beliefs about the behavior of other motorists. For instance, when was the last time you ran another vehicle off of a roadway?

When using the ABC model and UA, I’m not seeking to completely resolve natural distress. Perhaps an individual will experience zero discomfort once one is no longer living. Of course, I’ve never died and cannot possibly speak with any authority regarding this matter.

Instead of eliminating healthy distress, I invite people to tolerate this uncomfortable experience. This is a matter of moving from low frustration (i.e., distress) tolerance to high frustration (i.e., discomfort) tolerance, in the interest of building resilience.

I think of this matter this way: I tolerate the fact that I once participated in fashionable fads for which I no longer care. Likewise, I can tolerate frustration, annoyance, and disappointment (FAD). Tolerable FADs is a matter of flexibility versus inflexibility.

Regarding inflexibility, disturbance results from rigid Beliefs about a given Action, and this is precisely the sort of unpleasant Consequence which is targeted by Disputation. Thus, I endure tolerable FADs and rigorously challenge unhealthy self-disturbance.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Dog tag. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_tag

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ecko Unltd. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecko_Unltd.