Welcome to My World

[DISCLAIMER]

On his 2013 mixtape Ghetto Heaven, Vol. 1, rapper Cam’ron released the track “Welcome to My World”. The intro contains the following dialogue:

Female: Hey Cam, we’re going to the park. You want to come?

Cam’ron: Man, fuck you, shorty. I don’t do what everybody else do. You want to hang with me, come to my world.

When initially hearing Cam’ron’s abrasive response to a seemingly friendly invitation, I laughed. Yet, I appreciated his perspective. As one who doesn’t prefer to “do what everybody else do[es],” I understood Cam’s outlook. Now, I consider his view regarding a book I’m reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated, “Drama, combat, terror, numbness, and subservience—every day these things wipe out your sacred principles, whenever your mind entertains them uncritically or lets them slip in” (page 110).

A principle is a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption that serves as a rule or code of conduct with habitual devotion to these subjective morally and ethically right standards. For example, I stated in a blogpost entitled The Baseball Rule of Life:

On page 18 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion, I learned of a guideline previously unfamiliar to me. It’s called the “baseball rule of life.” Using this aphorism, one resolves to strike out and try a different approach when attempting a task three times with no success.

Although I’m not fond of sports—especially baseball, I can appreciate this principle. In fact, I like it much more than the oft-misattributed and false Albert Einstein axiom regarding the definition of insanity occurring when one does the same thing over and over again and expects a different outcome.

Given the “baseball rule of life,” one can attempt to achieve success after having previously endured failure. Ergo, this Aurelius-esque appeal to principles isn’t negated by a Cam’ron-esque assertion “I don’t do what everybody else do[es].” Thus, I’ll fail and try again, as needed.

Although I’ve adopted this subjective morally and ethically right standard, I don’t unproductively demand that other people should, must, or ought to do the same. Regarding this subjective approach to life, authors of The Daily Stoic question (page 110):

How much harder is it to do the right thing when you’re surrounded by people with low standards? How much harder is it to be positive and empathetic inside the negativity bubble of television chatter? How much harder is it to focus on your own issues when you’re distracted with other people’s drama and conflict?

Setting aside my quibble with an appeal to positivity and empathy, because I don’t maintain principles which value that sort of illogical and unreasonable (collectively “irrational”) approach to living, I appreciate the product of critical thinking expressed by authors of The Daily Stoic.

People make the process of living far more tedious than it already is when paying too much attention to what others are doing. Personally, Cam’ron’s standard is preferred (i.e., you want to hang with me, come to my world). Regarding this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 110):

We’ll inevitably be exposed to these influences at some point, no matter how much we try to avoid them. But when we are, there is nothing that says we have to allow those influences to penetrate our minds.

We have the ability to put our guard up and decide what we actually allow in. Uninvited guests might arrive at your home, but you don’t have to ask them to stay for dinner. You don’t have to let them into your mind.

I’ll go a step further than the authors did. In a blogpost entitled Principles, I stated:

Because I believe it’s inappropriate or rude to conduct unannounced visits, as though I have an open invitation to the homes of my friends, I determine that a rule by which I pledge to live relates to not surprising people in such a manner.

Through Stoic practice of REBT, I realize that I can control only my behavior. Therefore, I have a principle regarding not showing up unannounced to the homes of others. Similarly, each person within my close circle of contacts has received notice from me not to show up uninvited.

Of course, I realize that solicitors, law enforcement personnel, neighbors, delivery workers, and other people may inevitably show up to my home unannounced. Because I can’t control or influence these individuals, I flexibly use my principle in this regard – unless they make entry.

Here, the step further that I take from authors of The Daily Stoic is that no uninvited visitor to my home will be treated as a guest, whereby they’re welcomed into my home. I don’t care if it’s the police or other emergency services personnel, I have a principle of un-welcome inside my home.

Perhaps you disagree. To that, I evoke the humorous sentiment of Cam’ron, “Man, fuck you, shorty. I don’t do what everybody else do[es]. You want to hang with me, come to my world,” but not my home. If you have an irrational reply to this principle, you can keep it in your world.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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