On the 2001 album Rooty, electronic dance music (EDM) duo Basement Jaxx released a song entitled “Where’s your head at”? Lyrics include:
Don’t let the walls cave in on you
We can live on, live on without you
Don’t let the walls cave in on you
We can live on, live on without you
Don’t let the walls cave in on you
You get what you give, that much is true
Don’t let the walls cave in on you
You turn the world away from you
Where’s your head at (Where’s your head at)
Where’s your head at (Where’s your head at)
Wasn’t that? Okay, are you ready? I’m ready
You have now found yourself trapped in the incomprehensible maze
Where’s your head at, you’ll know how to be
Where’s your head at, you don’t make it easy on yourself
Where’s your head at, what you give is what you get, is what you get
Where’s your head at (Where’s your head at)
Where’s your head at (Where’s your head at (Okay, are you ready? I’m ready)
I enjoyed dancing to the track at a time when I did that sort of thing. Now, I think of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and how the song remains relevant—even though I no longer sweat through the night on a faraway dancefloor when listening to it.
In particular, I appreciate the aspect of questioning oneself as a means of maneuvering the incomprehensible maze in which one may inevitably become trapped during moments of emotional dysregulation. Who hasn’t been there?
Some event occurs and it seems as though you’re suddenly transported to an unpleasant entanglement of emotions, bodily sensations, and behavioral reactions. This is the action-consequence connection I used to think happened during distressing situations.
I’d become lost in emotion, not making things easy for myself. Now that I practice REBT, I understand that it never was the dizzying result of events which I experienced that bothered me. Rather, there was a belief-consequence connection at play.
Using the ABC Model, something would happen (Action), I assumed something about the event (Belief), and because of my unhelpful conclusion I’d experience feelings (emotions and sensations) and behave in a particular manner (Consequence).
If it seemed as though the walls were caving in on me, it was because my head was trapped in a labyrinth of irrational beliefs. Back in those days, I didn’t know where my head was at. Now, I do.
Sometimes, I may not be aware of what unproductive belief is present when experiencing a situation (Action). What I may be aware of is a bodily sensation, such as holding my breath, or an emotional experience akin to anxiousness (Consequence).
During such times, I find it helpful to ask myself, “Where’s your head at?” With this prompt, I can explore what self-disturbing conviction (Belief) is present.
Then, I can dispute the unfavorable thing I regard as true so that I may arrive at an Effective new belief. As a formula, here’s how the process looks:
Action + Belief = Consequence ÷ Disputation = Effective new belief
The next time you become inundated with stress, it may be useful to stop and ask yourself where you head is at. If you can identify the unaccommodating belief, you can challenge it in order to resolve an unpleasant result of the bewildering assumption.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Basement Jaxx. (2012, February 21). Basement Jaxx – Where’s Your Head At (official video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/5rAOyh7YmEc?si=xaakNsGciXKzyQU2
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Blog – Categories: Disputation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/blog/categories/disputation
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The formula. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-formula
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Basement Jaxx. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basement_Jaxx
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Rooty. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rooty