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You Aren't as Important as You Believe

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • Oct 18, 2025
  • 6 min read

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

The authors quote ancient Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius who stated, “Watch the stars in their courses and imagine yourself running alongside them. Think constantly on the changes of the elements into each other, for such thoughts wash away the dust of earthly life” (page 137).

 

With this quote, I’m reminded of the time in my youth spent at Camp Blue Haven (a summer and winter Christian youth camp in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains of New Mexico). With little light pollution, it was there that I was able to observe the incalculability of space with my naked eye.

 

On crisp nights at the camp, I could observe the Milky Way while contemplating how insignificantly small I actually was in the grand scheme of things (i.e., past, future, cosmos, and so on). Regarding this perspective, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 137):

 

It is almost impossible to stare up at the stars and not feel something. As cosmologist Neil deGrasse Tyson has explained, the cosmos fills us with complicated emotions. On the one hand, we feel an infinitesimal smallness in comparison to the vast universe; on the other, an extreme connectedness to this larger whole.

 

As is beginning to become commonplace regarding my blog category: The Daily Stoic, I challenge the framing of the authors. I argue that one doesn’t “feel” one way or another in the manner posited by authors of The Daily Stoic. In fact, such usage represents a misunderstanding.

 

A feeling relates to either: 1. Emotion (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or 2. Bodily sensation (e.g., tighten or stiffened jaw). If the word “feel” (or any derivative thereof) can be replaced with “hunch,” “thought,” or “belief” (or any derivative thereof), it’s not a feeling.

 

For instance, I looked up at the Milky Way galaxy when at Camp Blue Haven, thought about my “infinitesimal smallness,” as expressed by the authors, and felt joy (emotion) and lightness throughout my body (sensation) when realizing that my problems weren’t so grand after all.

 

Mind you, I lived in a children’s home at the time after having endured an entire childhood of traumatic experience before then. Children’s home kids were able to attend the relatively expensive Christian camp, only because we were sponsored by the Churches of Christ.

 

The same may be said of our attendance at Quartz Mountain Christian Camp (a summer and winter Christian youth camp in Kiowa County, Oklahoma). Given my reframing of this matter, presented by authors of The Daily Stoic, it may be useful to define a couple of terms.

 

A thought is an individual act or product of thinking. A belief is a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in a person or thing. In essence, a thought is merely a description and a belief is a prescription that one maintains as being associated with truth about reality.

 

For example, when I gazed up at the stars when at youth camp, I thought about how unimportant I actually was in the grand scheme of things. Furthermore, I believed it! In REBT terms, I maintained that I empirically mustn’t be as important as I’d once believed that I was.

 

With my pre-camp perspective, I self-disturbed with irrational beliefs when others didn’t treat me with the reverence I demanded. After all, I was important! How come others didn’t value me as highly as I appraised my own esteem or worth? That’s the thinking and believing of a child.

 

With my post-camp outlook, although admittedly still childlike, I began to develop a deeper understanding about how unimportant I actually was in comparison to everything outside of me. Concerning this newfound view, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 137):

 

Obviously, given that we’re in our bodies every day, it’s tempting to think that’s the most important thing in the world. But we counteract that bias by looking at nature—at things much bigger than us.

 

Have you ever had a similar experience of contemplation regarding how important you actually aren’t? Maybe it occurred when swimming in the ocean, standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, looking up at the stars, or even perusing the Internet.

 

It’s a relatively big world in comparison to you. You aren’t as important as you believe. Of this arguably healthy perspective, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 137):

 

Looking at the beautiful expanse of the sky is an antidote to the nagging pettiness of earthly concerns. And it is good and sobering to lose yourself in that as often as you can.

 

I remain grateful that others paid for my experience, as I was able to attend chilly nights at camp so that I could participate in the altered perspective-inducing activity of stargazing. Now, I invite you to find some method of discovering how you aren’t as important as you believe.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Camp Blue Haven. (n.d.). Camp Blue Haven [Official website]. Retrieved from https://campbluehaven.com

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2022, November 18). Big T, little t. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/big-t-little-t

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Hollings, D. (2022, October 5). Description vs. prescription. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/description-vs-prescription

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Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth

Hollings, D. (2022, August 16). Petty Betty. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/petty-betty

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Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2025, August 3). Self-esteem and self-worth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-esteem-and-self-worth

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

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Quartz Mountain Christian Camp. (n.d.). Quartz Mountain Christian Camp [Official website]. Retrieved from https://qmcc.org/

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Churches of Christ. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Churches_of_Christ

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Grand Canyon. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Canyon

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Milky Way. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milky_Way

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Neil deGrasse Tyson. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_deGrasse_Tyson

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

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