Dependency: To What Are You Enslaved?

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Throughout The Daily Stoic, references to slavery are used. According to Merriam-Webster, a slave is thusly defined:

Noun –

1. someone captured, sold, or born into chattel slavery (slavery in which a person is owned as a chattel—an enslaved person held as the legal property of another)

2. someone (such as a factory worker or domestic laborer) who is coerced often under threat of violence to work for little or no pay

3. someone held captive and forced to perform sexual acts usually under threat of violence and often for the purposes of commercial prostitution

4. someone or something that is completely subservient to a dominating person or influence

Adjective –

1 a. of, relating to, involving, or used for slavery or enslaved people

b. held involuntarily and forced under threat of violence to work without pay for the profit of another

c. favoring or legally permitting slavery

Similarly, Merriam-Webster thusly defines slavery:

Noun –

1 a. the practice or institution of holding people as chattel involuntarily and under threat of violence

b. the state of a person who is forced usually under threat of violence to labor for the profit of another

c. a situation or practice in which people are coerced to work under conditions that are exploitative

2. submission to a dominating influence

Per one source, “Chattel slavery survived longest in the Middle East. After the trans-Atlantic slave trade had been suppressed, the ancient trans-Saharan slave trade, the Indian Ocean slave trade and the Red Sea slave trade continued to traffic slaves from the African continent to the Middle East.”

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

To this day, there remain slaves of various types (i.e., involuntary sex work, wage slaves, etc.). Thus, historic chattel slavery in the United States of America from its founding in 1776 until 1865, predominantly in the South—though also in the North and elsewhere, wasn’t the be-all and end-all to this matter.

When my black ancestors were brought to this continent, landing in Virginia, echoes of their involuntary servitude have reverberated into modern times. I state this, because it’s worth understanding in regard to ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca’s view, as he stated (page 293):

Show me someone who isn’t a slave! One is a slave to lust, another to greed, another to power, and all are slaves to fear. I could name a former Consul who is a slave to a little old woman, a millionaire who is the slave of the cleaning woman. . . . No servitude is more abject than the self-imposed.

Controversially, lyricist Kanye “Ye” West made a similar declaration eight years ago. Specifically, he stated:

You hear about slavery for 400 years. For 400 years!? That sounds like a choice! Like, you was there for 400 years, and it’s all of y’all? You know, like, it’s like we’re, we’re mentally imprisoned. I like the word “prison,” ‘cause “salvery” goes too direct to the idea of blacks. It’s like, slavery, Holocaust… Holocaust, Jews, slavery is blacks.

Unless my interpretation of Ye’s message is inaccurate, his allusion to being “mentally imprisoned,” or metaphorically enslaved, aligns with Seneca’s quote. About the latter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 293):

We’re all addicts in one way or another. We’re addicted to our routines, to our coffee, to our comfort, to someone else’s approval. These dependencies mean we’re not in control of our own lives—the dependency is.

For clarity, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines addiction as “a state of psychological and/or physical dependence on the use of drugs or other substances, such as alcohol, or on activities or behaviors.” Regarding “dependency”, the APA thusly defines this term:

[A] state in which assistance from others is expected or actively sought for emotional or financial support, protection, security, or daily care. The dependent person leans on others for guidance, decision making, and nurturance. Whereas some degree of dependence is natural in interpersonal relations, excessive, inappropriate, or misdirected reliance on others is often a focus of psychological treatment.

Per my understanding of Seneca and Ye’s perspectives, proverbial slavery or imprisonment is the antithesis of self-reliance—reliance (the act of relying—to be dependent) on one’s own efforts and abilities.  Of this topic, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 293):

“Anyone who truly wants to be free,” Epictetus said, “won’t desire something that is actually in someone else’s control, unless they want to be a slave.” The subjects of our affection can be removed from us at a moment’s notice. Our routines can be disrupted, the doctor can forbid us from drinking coffee, we can be thrust into uncomfortable situations.

To what are you enslaved? I admit that processed sugar has been my master since childhood. Each time that I escape the axiomatic plantation, I foolishly return to the place of my enslavement. How about you? Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 293):

This is why we must strengthen ourselves by testing these dependencies before they become too great. Can you try going without this or that for a day? Can you put yourself on a diet for a month? Can you resist the urge to pick up the phone to make that call? Have you ever taken a cold shower?

It’s not so bad after the first couple of times. Have you ever driven a friend’s car while the nicer one you own was in the shop? Was it really that bad? Make yourself invulnerable to your dependency on comfort and convenience, or one day your vulnerability might bring you to your knees.

Although I have an unhealthy relationship with processed sugar, I continue the healthy practice of chosen suffering—intentionally subjecting myself to uncomfortable experiences, as a means of fostering resilience (an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change).

Therefore, I maintain a rigorous fitness routine – knowing that it can be taken from me on any day – so as to offset the unhealthy effects of processed sugar. I’ll do this until or unless I’m one day willing to fully flee from the figurative plantation to which I keep returning.

Now, I invite you to consider the matter of unhealthy dependency. To what are you enslaved? If you’re unwilling to escape your master, then isn’t it as Ye controversially stated—a matter of choice? And if so, what may you do about your circumstance, if you’re reluctant or even willing to remain enslaved?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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