Epictetus's Proposed Three Areas

[DISCLAIMER]

When attending graduate school for counseling (2009-2011), my studies focused on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). This psychotherapeutic modality was developed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis and serves as my go-to method for rational living.

As REBT is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Within REBT literature, Ellis references ancient Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus who is credited with having stated, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” This is a crucial principle regarding Ellis’s concept of the ABC model of self-disturbance.

Authors of The Daily Stoic apparently also value Epictetus’s wisdom. For instance, they quote the Stoic philosopher who stated (page 41):

There are three areas in which the person who would be wise and good must be trained.

The first has to do with desires and aversions—that a person may never miss the mark in desires nor fall into what repels them.

The second has to do with impulses to act and not to act—and more broadly, with duty—that a person may act deliberately for good reasons and not carelessly.

The third has to do with freedom from deception and composure and the whole area of judgment, the assent our mind gives to its perceptions.

Of these areas, the chief and most urgent is the first which has to do with the passions, for strong emotions arise only when we fail in our desires and aversions.

When contemplating the meaning of Epictetus’s proposed three areas, the subject of infidelity comes to mind. As an example, suppose that person X desires to cheat on his intimate partner (area one). I have a former friend who represents person X.

Without consideration of his moral and ethical principles, rather giving in to the impulse concerning a pursuit of satisfaction, person X may neglect his previously valued duty not to engage in sexual relations with another individual (area two). My former friend cheated.

Discussing his infidelity with me, my person X articulated an irrational (not in accordance with both logic and reason) case for his actions, thus deceiving himself in the process (area three). Thus, he ignored his own judgement and considered my input to be somewhat shameful.

“I just needed some ass” was the lie my former friend told himself when rationalizing his behavior. Regarding this matter, in light of Epictetus’s proposed three areas, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 41):

First, we must consider what we should desire and what we should be averse to. Why? So that we want what is good and avoid what is bad. It’s not enough to just listen to your body—because our attractions often lead us astray.

In both the case of Epictetus and authors of The Daily Stoic, use of recommendatory should, must, and ought-type propositions are used. Unlike inflexible absolutistic or conditional forms of these prescriptions to life, recommendations are used with flexibility in mind.

When I recommended that person X should honor his wedding vows, I did so in association with what he considered to be a good practice in his marriage. After all, he maintained that his wife recommendatorily should’ve been faithful to him. Authors of The Daily Stoic add (page 41):

Next, we must examine our impulses to act—that is, our motivations. Are we doing things for the right reasons? Or do we act because we haven’t stopped to think? Or do we believe that we have to do something?

Person X discussed the possibility of cheating for years prior to actually going through with the act. After admitting his deed, my former friend reverse engineered justification for his motivation (something that incites or has a tendency to incite to determination or action).

“A man has needs,” person X concluded. Was this the “right” reason for having cheated? Did my former friend stop to contemplate what was “right” about his act? None of that mattered, because he lied to himself about having to cheat. Authors of The Daily Stoic continue (page 41):

Finally, there is our judgment. Our ability to see things clearly and properly comes when we use our great gift from nature: reason.

Whereas logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable, reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification for one’s applied logic. Understanding his reason for predictably having cheated, person X then judged himself.

Rather than taking personal responsibility and accountability for his actions (collectively “personal ownership”), my former friend instead perceived my advocacy for rational thinking as judgement of him as a person. We haven’t spoken since, and that was two years ago this month.

Fortunately, I’ve used unconditional acceptance – another tool advocated by Ellis – to keep from self-disturbing about the loss of a friendship. This practice involves Stoicism which authors of The Daily Stoic address when concluding about Epictetus’s proposed three areas (page 41):

These are three distinct areas of training, but in practice they are inextricably intertwined. Our judgment affects what we desire, our desires affect how we act, just as our judgment determines how we act. But we can’t just expect this to happen. We must put real thought and energy into each area of our lives. If we do, we’ll find real clarity and success.

If people neglect judgment while favoring desire, then it stands to reason that their actions will follow unevaluated consideration of what they consider good, bad, right, wrong, and so forth. This was the case of my former friend, as he lacked clarity and failed at his marital commitment.

Of course, my citation of person X isn’t meant to serve as a form of shameful ridicule. Alternatively, my former friend is merely a fallible human being who behaved poorly, according to his own morals, ethics, values, and principles.

Now, you have an opportunity to learn from his failure. Thus, I invite you to consider Epictetus’s proposed three areas and to use this method of rational living to inform your own behavior. If you’d like to know more about Ellis’s REBT model, then I’m here to try to help in this regard.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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