What Adage Will You Use?

[DISCLAIMER]

Recently, a longtime client and I laughed about apparent synchronicities (coincidental occurrences of events, especially psychic events – such as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or mental images of an unexpected event before it happens – that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality).

Although some people reject the existence of synchronous occurrences, altogether rebuking the notion of coincidence in favor of a supposed divine plan, I remain agnostic regarding spiritual or religious foundations in support or rejection of synchronicity. Alas, I remain ignorant of many things.

In any case, my client and I found amusement in seemingly synchronous events about which this individual negotiated homework. Prior to our next session, my client will come up with a mantra or adage which best serves this person’s interests and goals for the work we do together.

A mantra is a mystical formula of invocation, and an adage is a saying often (though not always) in metaphorical form that typically embodies a common observation. While people generally use these terms synonymously, they are quite different in their meaning.

Whereas a mantra is merely a repeated word, sound, or phrase often used for meditation or spiritual practice, an adage is simply a short, memorable saying that expresses a general truth or observation. Thus, a mantra is a tool for spiritual focus, while an adage is a form of wisdom or conventional belief.

Personally, due to my agnostic perspective regarding spiritual and religious dogma, I prefer adages to mantras. Commonly, I invite clients to explore what mantras, adages, or other expressions may serve them well concerning the psychotherapeutic modality I practice.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Perhaps synchronously, a recent conversation with my client coincided with today’s lesson from the book regarding mantras or adages. In specific, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 40):

Erase the false impressions from your mind by constantly saying to yourself, I have it in my soul to keep out any evil, desire or any kind of disturbance—instead, seeing the true nature of things, I will give them only their due. Always remember this power that nature gave you.

Setting aside the unfalsifiable claim about a “soul,” I appreciate Aurelius’s invitation to use a mantra or adage that focuses on what a person has the ability to control: only oneself. Pertaining to this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic add (page 40):

Anyone who has taken a yoga class or been exposed to Hindu or Buddhist thought has probably heard of the concept of a mantra. In Sanskrit, it means “sacred utterance”—essentially a word, a phrase, a thought, even a sound—intended to provide clarity or spiritual guidance. A mantra can be especially helpful in the meditative process because it allows us to block out everything else while we focus.

As I reject use of mantras, I’ll provide an example of an adage that I find useful in my own life. When experiencing distress, I find it helpful to repeatedly remind myself, “I’m here.” As an example, sitting in traffic on I-35, I’m say to myself, “I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.”

This adage grounds me in the factual belief that no matter what’s going on in my mind, I’m grounded in this moment. As wacky beliefs tend to focus on the past or future, a factual belief underpinning my adage places me into the present tense. Authors of the book continue (page 40):

It’s fitting, then, that Marcus Aurelius would suggest this Stoic mantra—a reminder or watch phrase to use when we feel false impressions, distractions, or the crush of everyday life upon us. It says, essentially, “I have the power within me to keep that out. I can see the truth.”

When continually reminding myself that I’m in the present tense during moments of distress, I keep from self-disturbing by refusing to allow countervailing irrational beliefs occupancy within my mind. Using this approach to rational living, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 40):

Change the wording as you like. That part is up to you. But have a mantra and use it to find the clarity you crave.

Though not everyone will find utility in mantras or adages, I invite you to consider how these tools may be of benefit to you. Are you willing to try this relatively simple and free technique in order to achieve success with your goals, as my client is willing to do? What adage will you use?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Freepik. (n.d.). Portrait of person practicing yoga on clouds [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-ai-image/portrait-person-practicing-yoga-clouds_94484627.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=0&uuid=2f13c046-1230-4016-86b7-ba8a17636c8e&query=meditation

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2024, November 20). Adages. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/adages

Hollings, D. (2025, May 1). Clarity in seeing what others overlook. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/clarity-in-seeing-what-others-overlook

Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Desire. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/desire

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2025, March 12). Distress vs. disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/distress-vs-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, February 25). Doing the work. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/doing-the-work

Hollings, D. (2025, May 20). Evil. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/evil

Hollings, D. (2025, March 9). Factual and counterfactual beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/factual-and-counterfactual-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, April 13). Goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/goals

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2024, April 18). Homework. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/homework

Hollings, D. (2025, January 26). Ignorance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ignorance

Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2024, July 7). Non-dogmatic preferences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/non-dogmatic-preferences

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth

Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2023, October 22). Unfalsifiability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unfalsifiability

Hollings, D. (2024, February 23). Wacky beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/wacky-beliefs

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Marcus Aurelius. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Aurelius

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday