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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

How Will You Choose to Walk?

 

Easily and decisively, my favorite song among the many tracks I enjoy from lyricist Murs is “Walk Like a Man,” produced by the incomparable 9th Wonder and featured on the album Murs 3:16: The 9th Edition (2004). Personally, the beat switch-up and samples of the song mesh well with its meaningful message.

 

Murs opens the song with a powerful first verse which states:

 

Now, I used to walk with the gun; now, I walk like a man

And I walk what I talk, and I walk; never ran

And I never say never, but I mean hardly ever

And if shootin’s the solution, then you’re not that clever

If you don’t know shit, then you still know better

Human life is so precious, it could never be measured

Have you ever had it loaded and cocked back the heat?

Plottin’ on the next nigga while he walkin’ up the street

Trigger off safety, space and opportunity

These niggas wanna waste me, it ain’t nothing new to me

Soon as he walked by I was ready to bust

But he just posted up like he was waitin’ on the bus

Now, I’m all pumped up with a steroid trigger

‘Cause most of y’all are easy, just some paranoid niggas

Used to walk with a gun, but I never did use it

What’s the point of holdin’ heat if you ain’t gonna shoot it?

Stupid!

 

I experience nostalgia for my youth when contemplating the first verse. Still, I don’t miss the irrational (illogical and unreasonable) and ignorance-fueled behavior I exhibited during those days of anger, rage, hostility, aggression, and violence.

 

Back then, I knew nothing about rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Similar to what Murs expressed, and for a period of time, I used to walk with a gun in an illegal capacity. Not much separated me and enemigas, other than “space and opportunity.”

 

Now, as indicated by Murs, “I walk like a man.” In a blogpost entitled Good Man, I briefly addressed my perspective on what being a man means to me (other than the biological aspect). I was brought up to believe that being a provider and protector were the hallmarks of manhood.

 

To some degree, I fulfill these subjective markers of manhood. As a licensed concealed handgun carrier, I use REBT to consider what Murs addressed as the preciousness of human life rather than irrationally and ignorantly looking to prove something to myself and other people.

 

With a change of the initial beat, Murs continues in his second verse:

 

It was a late night sunset, me and him out

Lookin’ at the ladies to come up on some trim

Everybody wildin’ out, ‘cause the summer’s ‘bout to end

He had the Hpnotiq, he was mixin’ with the Henn

Off that mean green, laid back with the deep lean on low-pro shit

That’s how we rolled on the scene

Two girls lookin’, probably in they late teens

But these days you can’t tell, but I figured what the hell

So we yell out: “Hey girl,” they yell back

Maybe two in the front, maybe two in the back

But they had this dark tint, couldn’t see through the black

We roll up on ‘em ask ‘em, “Where the party at?”

They just start to laugh and I knew it was a trap

But I couldn’t roll out, ‘cause the strip was so packed

Now, I’m lookin’ at this nigga in his red and white hat

Start talkin’ that Blood shit, like we was on some Cuz shit

My nigga used to bang, but we ain’t on no thug shit

I tried to dismantle it, but you know Los Angeles

This nigga kept talkin’, so my boy had to handle it

He jumped out the Lac, snatched the dude out his hat

I put it in park, jumped out to get his back

But as I did that, I heard two shots

I turned to my right and I see my dude drop

Time stopped. Couldn’t believe what I seen

Was struck by reality when them two girls screamed

I saw his killer stand up, he put the gun in his jeans

Saw him wince from the pain as the heat burned his waist

Then he turned up the block; disappeared without a trace

I remember his face, but what I remember most

Was when I got to my knees and I held my nigga close

And asked not to leave us in the name of Christ Jesus

But he’s gone and all I got left is his blood on my sneakers

 

Considering the second verse, I’m reminded of friends I lost to gang-related activities. In adolescence, I spent many evenings chasing after girls with my carnales in Bomb City. Growing up in an honor culture, people inevitably fought when using irrational and ignorant rationale.

 

For instance, one boy would openly express interest in a girl. Her boyfriend would then take issue with his beliefs about the event. Also, someone with a red and white hat could take issue with one’s assumptions about a person for little more than wearing an orange and blue hat.

 

Thus, it wasn’t uncommon for drive-by shootings to occur in the streets, rat-packing of people which happened in various parks, or stabbing episodes to unfold at fairgrounds. The potential for bloodshed wasn’t an uncommon threat along the path I’ve traversed since my youth.

 

Most of this violent behavior was the self-disturbed consequence of irrational beliefs. In REBT, this belief-consequence (B-C) connection is illustrated using the ABC model. Are you familiar with this method of upsetting yourself?

 

When an Activating event occurs and you Believe unhelpful things about the situation, your unfavorable assumptions and not the event itself is what causes unpleasant Consequences. Considering this framework, have you ever self-disturbed?

 

In “Walk Like a Man,” Murs describes a bilateral self-disturbance episode. The lyricist’s friend used a B-C connection when a presumed gang member “kept talkin’,” as the friend exited his vehicle to confront the individual.

 

One imagines that the friend used self-disturbed demandingness by unproductively believing, “This fool shouldn’t disrespect me, so now I gotta put him in his place!” Many males with whom I’ve spoken maintain that answering perceived challenges to their manhood is a rational option.

 

Prior to learning about REBT, I also unhelpfully believed that when being disrespected by other men I had to respond with force. However, as indicated on “Walk Like a Man,” the B-C connection used by Murs’ friend resulted in his death.

 

This experienced was correlated with the presumed gang member’s concurrent use of a B-C connection. One presumes he used low frustration tolerance (LFT) and awfulizing beliefs by concluding, “I can’t stand when people confront me, because it’s awful when they do!”

 

When the B-C connections of two people collide, conflict is almost inevitable. In “Walk Like a Man,” both males could’ve rationally considered alternative ways of walking through life. However, because they didn’t, criminal homicide occurred.

 

For the bridge of the track, Murs states:

 

It was a year to this day that my best friend died

And for weeks, I sat alone in my room and cried

And I tried to pretend everything was fine

But my soul couldn’t rest until vengeance was mine

[x2]

 

In this transitional moment of the song, Murs expresses a self-disturbing LFT belief by stating that he “couldn’t rest” until vengeance was his. This is akin to stating, “I couldn’t stand to not seek vengeance.”

 

Is it true that the lyricist literally couldn’t tolerate and accept that his best friend was murdered? Were there legitimately no other options than to seek revenge for a slain confidant? Of course, this isn’t a factual claim. Rather, it’s an irrational excuse for misbehavior.

 

With a yet another beat change, Murs continues on the final verse:

 

The day began with me standin’ at his grave with his mother

His old girlfriend, his two younger brothers

We said a few words, faces covered with tears

On how we missed him so much and we wished he was here

Then his girl said a poem, put some roses on his stone

And we said our goodbyes, and they all went home

I thought I’d use this time for me and him to be alone

I broke out the Henn, poured a little out for him

Told him who was getting’ married, who had went to the pen

How the homie named his newborn son after him

But as the sun went down, our talk came to an end

So I said a quick prayer… amen

And I shook in the Lac ‘cross the railroad tracks

And I headed up La Brea, saw the homie Isaiah

I asked him what he doin’, he was way out of bounds

He said he had a freak that lived on that side of town

But he always kept the heat, just in case it went down

I clown, then I rolled down my window, ‘bout to light a ciga-

Hey! Is that that nigga... gimme your motherfucking gun right now

Man, drive around the block and post up for a minute

Splendid, now, with vengeance in my grasp

I couldn’t dream of a better day for me to catch his ass

Slippin’, while he dip into the ride by himself

I slid up behind him in the shadows, hella stealth

He started to break his self, I said I didn’t want a dime

Do you remember what you was doin’ last year about this time?

He looked into my eyes with both shock and surprise

I split his face with the Glock right before he could reply

He cried as I pressed the heat against his cheek

Then I squoze two times for the homie, rest in peace

 

Thinking about the third verse reminds me of an experience from high school, at the Amarillo Tri-State Fair. Oppositional gang members presumably thought they caught my friend and me slippin’, or what today’s youth refer to as “lackin’,” and were about to bring violence our way.

 

However, an allied gang set happened by and… the rest of that story doesn’t need to be described herein. In moments of irrational or ignorance-fueled behavior, B-C connections can lead to irreversibly dangerous outcomes. Path-ending consequences aren’t entirely necessary.

 

Such violent behavior can be influenced by an unaccommodating global evaluation. In the fairgrounds incident, an opposing set likely believed that my friend and I were completely worthless.

 

When issuing a universal rating of this sort, people neglect to consider other attributes. In the case of Murs and “Walk Like a Man,” the lyricist ostensibly saw his rival as a completely contemptible individual. Could it have been possible that the other man wasn’t entirely useless?

 

Keep in mind that Murs began the song in reflection from the past, stating, “Human life is so precious, it could never be measured.” How did he arrive at his present-day conclusion?

 

For that answer, Murs states on the outro of the track:

 

It was a year to this day that my best friend died

For weeks, I sat alone in my room and cried

And I tried to pretend everything was fine

But my soul couldn’t rest until vengeance was mine

It was a year to this day that my best friend died

And for weeks I sat alone in my room and cried

And I thought that’s what I wanted ‘til the problem was confronted

Now, I’m haunted by remorse that I wished I hadn’t done it.

Shit!

 

In his historical frame of mind, Murs unproductively believed that he “couldn’t rest” until he sought vengeance, or that he couldn’t stand not taking revenge – using an LFT narrative. However, after committing criminal homicide, Murs was “haunted by remorse.”

 

Using the perspective on regret posed by the late Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard, one wonders which option the lyricist would’ve regretted less – unconditionally accepting that his friend was murdered or becoming a murderer himself. Which would you likely regret less?

 

As much as I appreciate “Walk Like a Man,” I was delighted to learn how Murs’ evolution as a lyricist developed when he released “Walk Like a God,” featuring lyrists Rapsody and Propaganda. Alongside 9th Wonder, the track was dropped on the collaborative album Brighter Days (2015).

 

Murs opens the song with a reflective first verse that states:

 

Our Father, how great thou art

Your divine spirits helped create my art

My biological was not around

Last name 3:16, an underground

King of King, Lord of Lord, my only savior

Hip hop saved my life, I’m highly favored

God bless the b-boys

DJ’s and the writers, shout out to Trouble T-Roy

Pete Rock-in’ all the prophet

Use the music like Moses to move, you can’t stop it

It’s God music, you can’t deny it

My hand grab the mic, and man, I sanctify it

You can’t deny the divinity

Make you feel the power of life in your vicinity

Changed my life, I know that it changed yours

He gave us Heaven, but the streets is what you aim for

Need to use that flick of the wrist to aim higher

Spit to keep it lit, but keep us burning in the same fire

That’s eternal like the shame is

Praise to the Creator, whatever you say His name is

 

Admittedly, in my opinion, Murs’ verse isn’t comparable to the progressive theme of “Walk Like a Man.” However, he shares “Walk Like a God” with two other lyricists. Thus, without adding extra verses and increasing the length of this track, Murs is constrained in his presentation.

 

Interestingly, he makes use of his message to reflect upon a matured outlook. Apparently without a father present, Murs ultimately found what he reports is the heavenly Father. Per Murs’ worldview, it was this entity that introduced him to hip hop.

 

Notably, Murs states, “He gave us Heaven, but the streets is what you aim for. [You] need to use that flick of the wrist to aim higher.” Perceivably, this is an allusion to one’s choice in regard to walking with purpose and meaning, or to walk in violence.

 

Using a dichotomy, the lyricist may be suggesting that hip hop, focus on religious or spiritual matters, or other productive means is one path upon which a person can choose to walk. Still, an alternative path, one in which an individual aims lower, is to aim a gun at other people.

 

How would you choose to walk, given this framing? Personally, reject the binary path proposal. I’ll address my reasoning for this rejection a bit later. For now, I admit that rational living which leads to contentment is how I choose to walk.

 

Following Murs’ lead, Rapsody continues to the second verse:

 

More spiritual than religious, I pray God forgive us

Try to live life the best I can, but know I’m still a sinner

Ask my Auntie Del advice about this fellowship-ment

I ain’t baptized and I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness

In my heart, I don’t believe He’ll shun you for different religions

If a heart good and we try to follow His wishes

Whether you’re Muslim, Baptist, Mormon, whatever the difference

A lot of good people decipher the Bible quite different

Who’s to say who right or wrong? Believing’s prolific

Commandments the only thing that we probably agree with

I knew it’s wrong to kill a life, one occasion that Jesus

Died for our sins, and I know atheists still don’t believe it

I still pray, regardless of that fact, you’re good people

And ‘cause you don’t believe in God, you still don’t mess with evil

I pray every day, ask forgiveness for myself and others

And for good health for myself and family, I love you

I pray for ones I don’t know yet and I’ll never meet

I pray my heart’s kind in my actions and my speech

I pray for patience, to listen way more than I speak

And pray for love, forgive me, God, I know it’s wrong, I’m weak

And lastly, I pray for lives that you didn’t choose to keep

We all ain’t perfect, but we trying, at the very least

Every saint got a past and every sinner got a future

And I can’t judge nobody, I’m just passing thoughts to you

 

While I understand that in hip hop it’s unbecoming behavior to highlight one’s favorite female versus male emcee, I’m willing to commit a faux pas herein. Rapsody is my favorite female lyricist. Still, this remark doesn’t depreciate her worth, as she can body many males on the mic.

 

In any case, I appreciate Rapsody’s verse on “Walk Like a God,” because it highlights a belief system with which I was raised. My dad indoctrinated me with Jehovah’s Witnesses beliefs at a young age.

 

Unlike Rapsody, I was baptized into the Church of Christ (CoC) later in life. For many years after having left formalized religion, I continued to pray for selfish and also selfless matters which are reflected in Rapsody’s verse.

 

If “Walk Like a Man” captured a moment in time from when I was 13- to 18-years-old, Rapsody’s verse on “Walk Like a God” spans a much larger range from when I was four- to around 30-years-old. How I chose to walk was imperfect, to say the least.

 

Not long ago, when learning of my past behavior with gangs while simultaneously serving as an active member of a CoC youth group, and then becoming a military police (MP) patrolman while concurrently violating military law, a Marine friend laughed at the perceived paths I chose.

 

“You were really out here livin’ a double life,” he stated. When further contemplating the two-path dichotomy, I realize that there aren’t necessarily different paths upon which one may walk in life. Rather, there is but one path (life). How one chooses to walk it is separate matter.

 

I’ve chosen to walk in a manner of the gangbangers with whom I used to associate. I also walked in the way of a Jehovah’s Witness, CoC member, atheist, and agnostic. I’ve walked as an MP and as a detainee in a military brig. Each step I’ve taken in life has been placed upon one path.

 

Nevertheless, what has mattered most in my life is how I’ve chosen to walk. Do I choose to walk like a man, like God, or otherwise? From my current religiously or spiritually agnostic perspective, I walk imperfectly as a man.

 

Wrapping up “Walk Like a God,” Propaganda states:

 

Listen, I ain’t never walked on water, I’m not at all a know-it-all

Just know enough to know that knowin’ Allah don’t keep you on

There’s things I can’t explain like death and pain, and

Why suffering and rain seem to be the greatest teacher

And it seem to sneak up on you, eyes get swole up

Explosive as Hiroshima, hoping your focus hold up

And that logic get faulty

Cold boulder stone for more shoulders, salty

And the stuff we can’t touch seem to be much more real, like

How we all connected and sing along to love songs

I believe these are Elohim’s fingerprints

The sky above you is screaming, “I love you”

There were times I felt hip hop was God’s gift just for me

Can’t verify it, but sure can’t deny it

Colors and textures, I see beauty in scars

I have shaped my existence on His persistence

Knowable, relatable, God, our Father

Not a judgmental tyrant writing guilty on our eyelids

Scribbling eternity on black hearts of ours

While ancient Mayan astronomers could map the stars

Homie, I don’t claim to have the answers to your pain

I believe the Son of Man was slain to say we the same

That third day raising, whether or not y’all praise Him

I just give you these songs to say you’re loved and belong

Our Father

 

Whereas Murs’ first verse on this track was reflective and Rapsody broadened the focus on my life, Propaganda’s verse on “Walk Like a God” wove together a common thread from my birth until the present. He discusses ignorance (lack of knowledge) and humanity (shared experience).

 

For instance, the lyricist states, “I’m not at all a know-it-all,” indicating his lack of hubris—exaggerated pride or self-confidence. Likewise, he declares, “I believe the Son of Man was slain to say we[’re] the same.”

 

No matter how I’ve chosen to traverse the winding path upon which I’ve traveled since birth, I’ve walked ignorantly and in accordance with the experience of every other human – as a fallible being. For the most part, these two elements weren’t chosen aspects of my life.

 

Aside from the matter of suicide as a feasible option along my path, I’ve remained ignorant about most aspects of life and I’ve never been perfect. This is my default setting. Therefore, I’ve chosen to live though I haven’t had a choice in regard to ignorance and imperfection.

 

As a self-determined and autonomous being, how I’ve chosen to walk up until precisely this moment in time has led me to daily practice of REBT. This is how I achieve success with my interests and goals.

 

Using an imperfect approach to the ABC model and unconditional acceptance, I try to help others who are also ignorant and share in the experience of the human condition. Perhaps learning how to walk in a different manner will make a lifetime’s difference for some people I’ve assisted.

 

Described eloquently in “Walk Like a Man” and “Walk Like a God,” Murs, Rapsody, a Propaganda echoed a central component worth contemplating. Each lyricist discussed the topic of death.

 

How will you choose to walk along the one path upon which you currently travel and before arriving at the inescapable destination of death? If you’d like to know more about how to live rationally, I may be able to assist you with this helpful choice while on your path.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


 

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Mr. Terrence L. Trezvant. (2009, March 27). Out of bounds. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=out%20of%20bounds

MursTv. (2019, July 18). Murs, 9th Wonder - Walk Like a God (Audio) ft. Rapsody, Propoganda [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/S48hHSOVAgQ?si=IZS9-PC6ZahcfRgl

MursTv. (2016, August 16). Walk Like a Man [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/2R66wJ0y4ag?si=q67NfHKHgWxh5ZVk

“Nasty” Natrone Means. (2003, April 24). Trim. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Trim&page=4

Ozan0053. (2016, September 16). Gangbanger. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gangbang&page=3

R Ford. (2004, May 6). Mean green. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mean%20green

Red. (2003, October 9). Strip. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20Strip

Robbie. (2004, October 25). Bend a corner. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bend%20a%20corner

Spyder. (2002, November 7). Dip. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dip

Suj. (2003, March 22). Shake. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shake&page=2

TeknoTurd. (2004, May 28). Hella. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hella

ToeCutterX. (2018, August 17). Slipping. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slipping

Wikipedia. (n.d.). 9th Wonder. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9th_Wonder

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Bloods. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloods

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Breakdancing. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-boy

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Brighter Daze. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brighter_Daze

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Crips. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crips

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Elohim. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elohim

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Hennessy. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hennessy

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Hpnotiq. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hpnotiq

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Murs (rapper). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murs_(rapper)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Murs 3:16: The 9th Edition. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murs_3:16:_The_9th_Edition

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Pete Rock. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Rock

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Propaganda (musician). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propaganda_(musician)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Rapsody. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapsody

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Søren Kierkegaard. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B8ren_Kierkegaard

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Trouble T Roy. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trouble_T_Roy

Wonipil. (2019, June 28). Clown. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clown

Yo dat ass. (2018, January 29). Lean. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lean

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