Take Care of Your Mind

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Within my blog, I make no secret of the fact that when I served as a Marine I was placed in a naval consolidated (NAVCON) brig aboard Marine Corps Air Station (MCAS) Miramar, San Diego, California for pretrial detention from 6/13-18/2002, and again from 9/30-10/23/2002.

During that period of time, there was a saying: do your time, don’t let your time do you. My interpretation of the phrase was that of a healthy prescription which advised those subject to incarceration (i.e., doing time) to take care of their minds (i.e., don’t let your time ruin you).

Valuing my perception of the maxim, I was pleased when Ludacris dropped Release Therapy (2006) which contained the track “Do Your Time” featuring Beanie Sigel, the late Pimp C, and C-Murder—featured individuals who had lived experience with actually having done time.

On the track, Ludacris states, “If you locked in the box [cell], keep makin’ it through. Do your time (Do your time), don’t let your time do you.” When hearing those words, I was reminded of how I kept my mind busy within the NAVCON brig at Miramar.

For instance, I read whatever I could get my hands on, wrote poetry, drew graffiti designs, worked out in my box, and earned trustee status so that I could clean the pod (general quarters) rather than staying confined in my cell. I was doing my time, not letting my time do me.

Also on “Do Your Time”, Beanie Sigel states, “Until I went to jail, you couldn’t tell me I ain’t seen it all. That box a motherfucker, it could stress a nigga bald. Especially when you broke and home base ain’t acceptin’ your calls.” For many people who are locked down, it’s a lonely time.

Still, all these years later, I challenge my initial interpretation of the saying that I once valued. Specifically, is it the case that one’s time can ruin (i.e., screw) an individual? In other words, do undesirable events cause a person’s unpleasant reactions?

From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

As an example, if you’re shanked (stabbed) when doing time (Action), then you’ll likely bleed (Consequence). From an A-C perspective, lacerations tend to cause some amount of blood loss.

However, if you’re shanked (Action) and you unhelpfully Believe, “This sort of thing mustn’t ever happen, and it’s awful that it has,” then not only will you bleed (A-C); it’s likely that your B-C outlook will also cause an unpleasant emotional outcome (Consequence).

Favorably, I wasn’t battered when in the Miramar brig. Yet, I did self-disturb. For instance, my defense attorney told me that the woman with whom I was in love—and with whose interaction I maintained that led to my detention—was in danger while I was doing my time (Action).

I then unaccommodatingly Believed, “This is terrible, because I should be able to protect her,” as I then experienced fear for her safety (Consequence). During each visit with my attorney, he reminded me about this predicament so that I’d sign a plea deal.

The more time I did, disturbing myself with a B-C connection, the more my time did me. Thus, it wasn’t the A-C relationship of doing time that could do me. It was that – and forgive my crude manner of speaking – I did my time while mentally fucking myself!

Essentially, I wasn’t taking care or my mind. Ergo, that forceful fucking to which I subjected myself overshadowed other activities in which I engaged to do my time effectively. As such, I eventually signed a plea bargain deal. Thinking about this topic, I’m now reminded of a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated, “You have been formed of three parts—body, breath, and mind. Of these, the first two are yours insofar as they are only in your care. The third alone is truly yours” (page 131).

At first glance, it may seem odd to consider what Aurelius proposed. Aren’t body, breath, and mind all controlled by the individual? I suspect those within the NAVCON brig, or who are hooked to a ventilator, may disagree. About this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 131):

The body can be ravaged by disease or injured or disabled in a sudden accident. It can be imprisoned or subjected to torture. The breath can suddenly cease because our time has come, or because someone has taken it from us. Breathing can grow labored because of exertion or illness as well. But up until the very end, our mind is ours.

Even when my defense attorney ostensibly coerced me into signing a plea agreement (Action), he wasn’t personally responsible and accountable for my unhelpful reaction (Consequence). Only I owned the fear I experienced. About this, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 131):

It’s not that the other two parts of life that Marcus mentions—our body and our breath—don’t matter. They’re just less “ours” than our mind. You wouldn’t spend much time fixing up a house that you rent, would you? Our mind is ours—free and clear. Let’s make sure we treat it right.

Had I not mind-fucked myself when in the Miramar brig, I likely wouldn’t have pled to charges which lacked proper context. Alas, the past is passed. I can’t undo what has already been done. Thus, I use unconditional life-acceptance to let go of what is now only an unpleasant memory.

As well, long since gone is the woman for whom I was detained in the NAVCON brig aboard MCAS Miramar. C’est la vie (such is life). Even regarding that situation, I’ve taken care of my mind. Now, I’ll do what time I have left in life without my time doing me. How about you?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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