The Big 'L'

[DISCLAIMER]

When living with my dad during my elementary and junior high school years in Aurora, Colorado, he discouraged me from being lazy (disinclined to activity or exertion). Referring to laziness as the big ‘L’, “Son,” he’d say, “Why aren’t these dishes washed? Is it the big ‘L’?”

I was taught to promptly tend to my chores, because my dad wanted to instill within me a strong work ethic. After moving back to Amarillo, Texas, away from my dad and then eventually into a children’s home, I continued to self-discourage from giving in to the big ‘L’.

Fortunately, my dad’s instilled principle for taking action rather than putting off for tomorrow what may be done today afforded me an opportunity to achieve a higher social status among my residential peers than regarding those who succumbed to the big ‘L’. I appreciate that lesson!

Even when experiencing significant administrative and legal problems when in the Marine Corps, my former commanding officer (CO) stated of me at my special court-martial, “He was a good worker.” Now, I reflect upon my dad’s instilled value about laziness as I read a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

While working against temptation for the big ‘L’, apparently being a “good worker,” per my former CO, I do so imperfectly. After all, I’m a fallible human being who’s susceptible to temptation of various sorts. Regarding the topic of laziness, Seneca stated (page 265):

Anything that must yet be done, virtue can do with courage and promptness. For anyone would call it a sign of foolishness for one to undertake a task with a lazy and begrudging spirit, or to push the body in one direction and the mind in another, to be torn apart by wildly divergent impulses.

Have you ever been “torn apart by [temptingly] wildly divergent impulses,” as described by the ancient Stoic philosopher. During such moments, what keeps you focused on what needs to be done, as opposed to what you want to do? Of this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 265):

If you start something and right away feel yourself getting lazy and irritated, first ask yourself: Why am I doing this? If it really is a necessity, ask yourself: What’s behind my reluctance? Fear? Spite? Fatigue?

Don’t forge ahead hoping that someone will come along and relieve you of this task you don’t want to do. Or that someone else will suddenly explain why what you’re doing matters. Don’t be the person who says yes with their mouth but no with their actions.

One thing that keeps me focused on what needs to be done, as opposed to what I want to do when the big ‘L’ sets in, is simply performing the task. I don’t engage in a logical and reasonable debate within my mind to take place. I simply do what needs to be done! Will you do the same?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2026, February 12). Consciousness: Reach your soul. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consciousness-reach-your-soul

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2025, December 4). Ease my mind. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ease-my-mind

Hollings, D. (2025, December 13). Explanation and justification. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/explanation-and-justification

Hollings, D. (2024, May 11). Fallible human being. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fallible-human-being

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

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Hollings, D. (2023, March 21). Matching bracelets. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/matching-bracelets

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Hollings, D. (2025, June 14). Pulled like a puppet by every impulse. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/pulled-like-a-puppet-by-every-impulse

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

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Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2024, November 24). Values. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/values

Hollings, D. (2023, May 3). Want vs. need. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/want-vs-need

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

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