When I Grow Up

[DISCLAIMER]

Per one source, “When I Grow Up’ is a 1998 song written, recorded and produced by alternative rock band Garbage. The song was released as the fourth international single to be taken from the band’s multi-platinum second album Version 2.0 over the course of the following year.”

Due to lead vocalist Shirley Manson’s mesmerizing voice, I purchased Version 2.0 upon its release and when I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan when in the Marine Corps. I recall laughing at the “When I Grow Up” line, “Happy hours, golden showers, on a cruise to freak you out.”

For the uninitiated, one source defines a “golden shower” as the “act of urinating on someone for sexual pleasure.” If unexpected, that sort of “cruise,” per Manson, may play a role in someone being freaked out. I’ll address this herein. Also, in the Corps, vulgar humor was the norm.

For instance, if a Marine lamented the fact that a sexual partner urinated on him when showering together, another jarhead may reply, “It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on!” The obvious joke was that the upset Marine was both pissed on and pissed off. Nothing was “better” about it.

For context, one source defines being “pissed off” as an “extremely powerful anger that builds up inside, and you constantly want to release it, but when you do, it unleashes a full wrath that might cause the biggest calamity that had ever existed.” Can being pissed on really piss you off?

Viewing this matter through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I consider the ABC model that illustrates how when an undesirable Action occurs and you use an unhelpful Belief, it’s your attitude, though not the event itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves when using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

For instance, if an intimate partner subjects you to an unexpected golden shower as you’re lying on the bed and watching television (Action), then your bedding may become soiled (Consequence). From an A-C outlook, urine can cause sheets to stain.

Alternatively, from a B-C perspective, if your romantic partner unexpectedly pisses on you (Action) and you Believe, “This is awful and I can’t stand this worthless bitch, because no one should ever be pissed on,” then your assumption may cause you to be pissed off (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

The process of challenging unhelpful self-narratives can take longer than I care to demonstrate herein. Thus, in the interest of time, imagine that after a period of rigorous Disputation you eventually use the following Effective new belief after having been pissed on:

While people preferably shouldn’t piss on one another, it’s merely inconvenient that my girlfriend – who has worth despite her unwanted behavior – has pissed on me. If I truly couldn’t stand golden showers, then I would’ve dissolved into the mattress. Yet, I didn’t. Perhaps after we clean up this mess, I’ll treat her to a Cleveland steamer, or at minimal a Dutch oven, in return.

Okay, everything except the defecating on the chest of one’s girlfriend or trapping her under the covers to inhale your flatulence represents an Effective new belief, cochino/a! (Hey, I told you that Marines use vulgar humor.)

In any event, years after Version 2.0 was released, Garbage dropped the album Version 2.0: The Official Remixes (2018). Personally, the remix “When I Grow Up” (Danny Tenaglia Golden Shower Dub mix) by electronic dance music (EDM) legend Danny Tenaglia was worth the wait.

In my opinion, Tenaglia captured Manson’s siren sound beautifully. Using the reverb effect when Manson sang “golden showers,” echoing as though one was in a shower, was a clever touch, as I was reminded of the self-upset experience by a Marine who’d been pissed on.

Still, in the words of Ponyboy Michael Curtis to Johnny Cade when quoting poet Robert Frost, in the film The Outsiders (1983), “Nothing gold can stay.” Therefore, it’s better not to be pissed off when pissed on. (Maybe I’ll stop using vulgar humor “when I grow up,” though likely not.)

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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