Be a Better You

[DISCLAIMER]

When listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by K_Oxana, I heard her spin the track “Be a Better You” by Daniel Jaeger , on the album Be a Better You (2017). I then thought of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). It’s my preferred self-help strategy.

Worth noting, I think the version of the song spun by K_Oxana was by Jaeger, though it was contained on the album Criminal Bassline - Most Wanted Mixed by Daniel Jaeger (DJ Mix) (2024), and which featured Mike Book and DJ Lion. Either way, I appreciate the EDM track.

Lyrics state in part, “Time waits for no man, so keep on moving. Let it take control. That’s what we can’t, that’s where we at. Rearrange things. Never go through life holding grudges. The best thing you can do is be a better you.” I appreciate the depth of these words.

When interpreting the lines through the proverbial lens of REBT, I see a helpful method of reducing self-distress and self-disturbance—the unpleasant processes by which people bother or upset themselves with irrational beliefs. Let’s take a relatively quick look at how to reverse this.

For context, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering in the form of distress and disturbance. This is occurs through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

UA is useful for actually getting better (i.e., “the best thing you can do is be a better you,” per “Be a Better You”), not merely feeling better (i.e., the short-lived experience of catharsis). Here, a distinction between distress and disturbance may be useful. Per one REBT source (page 71):

REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event, whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Given this information about UA, lyrics of “Be a Better You” accurately state that “time waits for no man,” expressing a ULA perspective, as they encourage the listener to “keep on moving,” which represents a USA outlook. All one can truly control is one’s own reaction to events.

Likewise, advocating tolerance and acceptance of a ULA view, the lyrics suggest that one “let it [time, life, etc.] take control. That’s what we can’t, that’s where we at.” While people sometimes mistake how much control they have in life, the lyrics remind us that life will function as it does.

For instance, we may not like or love the fact that each and every one of us will inescapably die (ULA), “that’s what we can’t” control, because “that’s where we[’re] at,” per “Be a Better You.” Thus, the song encourages the listener to “rearrange things” while one still can when alive.

It continues, “Never go through life holding grudges,” as that’s a waste of what little time one has left in life. Consequently, the EDM song invites the listener to consider that “the best thing you can do is be a better you.” Getting better versus feeling better. That’s what UA is about!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

Apple Music. (n.d.). Be a Better You. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/ua/album/be-a-better-you/1494393980

Apple Music. (n.d.). Criminal Bassline - Most Wanted Mixed by Daniel Jaeger (DJ Mix). Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/tr/album/criminal-bassline-most-wanted-mixed-by-daniel-jaeger-dj-mix/1739944110?l=tr

Apple Music. (n.d.). Daniel Jaeger. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/daniel-jaeger/1465290444

Apple Music. (n.d.). DJ Lion. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/dj-lion/1474091265

Apple Music. (n.d.). Mike Book. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/gb/artist/mike-book/834701449

Criminal Bassline. (2018, September 17). Daniel Jaeger - Be a Better You (Original Mix) [Criminal Bassline] [Image; video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/yE2XyYV6UM4?si=7UgCbL161F4pKkqr

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K_Oxana. (2025, October 2). K_Oxana |Kyiv mood |Urban tech house sunset DJ set| Live from balcony on Khreshchatyk @Kyiv, Ukraine [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/zWlVL3pjTrw?si=v7UW1hnhFp9lCQtd

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