Bring It Back

[DISCLAIMER]

*Practical Magic (1998) spoilers contained herein.

Recently, someone expressed that I recommendatorily should watch Practical Magic (1998). If memory serves, I chose not to pay the film any attention when it was first released, because at the time I was still self-disturbing with irrational beliefs about my mom’s practice of witchcraft.

However, all these years later, I’ve since implemented helpful techniques into my life regarding Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). As well, my views on magic have changed since the late 90s. Therefore, I decided to watch Practical Magic through the proverbial lens of REBT.

Noteworthy, a number of scenes stood out to me, as I’d like to share my perspective on a couple of them when viewed through the frame of care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”). For context, one source summarizes the film thusly:

Bullock and Kidman play sisters Sally and Gillian Owens, who have always known they were different from other people. Raised by their aunts after their parents’ death, the sisters grew up in a household that was anything but typical—their aunts fed them chocolate cake for breakfast and taught them the uses of practical magic.

But being a member of the Owens’ family carries a curse: the men they fall in love with are doomed to an untimely death. Now adult women with very different personalities, the quiet Sally and the fiery Gillian must use all of their powers to fight the family curse and a swarm of supernatural forces that could take away all the Owens’ lives.

Early in the film, Sally writes a letter to her sister and describes life as “perfect” with her husband and two daughters. Concerning this impractical statement, I stated in a blogpost entitled We Live In an Imperfect World:

[T]he technique of unconditional life-acceptance [ULA] acknowledges inherent imperfection in the world. Although one may unhelpfully believe that life ideally should, must, or ought to conform to perfect standards, we live in an imperfect world. Life isn’t flawless, nor will it ever be.

The healthy practice of ULA essentially recognizes that life is impermanent and uncertain. All things will inevitably pass, to include Sally, her husband, and their children – and in no particular or guaranteed order. Case in point, Sally’s husband (Michael) falls victim to the family curse.

Following his death, Sally discovers that her aunts previously cast a spell that led to Sally and Michael having met. Self-disturbed with unhelpful beliefs about the matter, Sally impractically demands, “You brought him into my life, now I want you to bring him back! Bring him back!!”

Yet, Sally’s aunts explain, “We won’t do that,” and, “We don’t do that.” One of the aunts adds, “Even if we did bring him back, it wouldn’t be Michael. It would be something else; something dark and unnatural.” During that scene, a shadowy figure is depicted in a book of magic.

Property of Warner Bros., fair use

To this, Sally impractically shouts, “I don’t care what he comes back as, as long as he comes back!” Despite how fervently she begs her aunts for a resurrected love, they practically refuse to acquiesce. This will end my divulging of spoilers regarding the film – a flick that I enjoyed.

Nonetheless, I think it may be helpful to describe how it was that Sally disturbed herself. To do this, it may be practical to discuss the technique of the ABC model.

REBT uses this tool to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and one Believes an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s one’s unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

As an example, Sally learns that magic was responsible for how she met Michael (Action) and she impractically Believes, using a conditional demand, “Either my aunts shouldn’t interfere with my life, or if they do, they should at least remedy undesirable events whenever they occur!”

Using this impractical self-narrative, Sally then upsets herself into an angry disposition and shouts, “You brought him into my life, now I want you to bring him back! Bring him back,” as she frantically searches through a book of magic for a corrective spell (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

I appreciate that Sally’s aunts maintained a practice approach to healthy boundary-setting. The advisement “Even if we did bring him back, it wouldn’t be Michael. It would be something else; something dark and unnatural” was a difficult, though necessary, lesson I also needed to learn.

Many years ago, I used to self-disturb with unproductive beliefs about the loss of intimate partner relationships. On several occasions, I tried to bring back what was gone. Not a single instance of resurrecting dissolved romantic relationships worked in my favor.

Presently, thinking about this matter, I’m reminded of a time when I upset myself for just less than five years regarding a woman I wanted to marry and who sent me a Dear John letter when I was attending United States Marine Corps Recruit Training in 1996. It was an unpleasant time.

Then, as I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, English-Irish electronic dance music (EDM) duo Moloko released the album I Am Not a Doctor (1998). It featured the track “Sing It Back” which was also contained in remixed form on the album Things to Make and Do (1999). Lyrics state:

[Verse 1]

When you are ready

I will surrender

Take me and do as you wish

Have what you want

Your way’s

Always the best way

I have succumbed to

This passive sensation

Peacefully falling away

I am a zombie

Your wish will command me

Laugh as I fall to my knees

[Chorus]

Bring it back, sing it back

Bring it back, sing it back to me

Bring it back, sing it back

Bring it back, sing it back to me

Impractically, the lyricist (Róisín Murphy) admits that bringing back whatever love was apparently lost “would be something else; something dark and unnatural,” per Sally’s aunt. To elucidate this point, the lyricist refers to herself as a “zombie” (a reanimated human corpse).

Impractically resurrecting Michael simply wasn’t something Sally’s practical aunts were willing to do. Following my two years in Okinawa, I also practically learned that reanimating the dead relationship for which I once yearned was also not a rational decision.

I imagine that this is also a lesson which Murphy inevitably learned in life, though I can only speculate regarding her situation. In any event, I now invite you to contemplate the practical psychoeducational lesson I’ve highlighted concerning Practical Magic.

Even if you could resurrect an intimate partner connection, should you do so? Suppose you were successful at reanimating the deceased relationship. Would it be something else; something dark and unnatural, or do you impractically believe that being a zombie is practical?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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