Dispense With That Ish

[DISCLAIMER]

Years ago, when asked by a friend to housesit, I sent the above photo which related to irrationality (a cognitive process that isn’t in accordance with both logic and reason). The joke was that it wouldn’t make since to ish (censored music word for “shit”) in his refrigerator.

My friend and I laughed quite a bit about the prank when he returned from vacation, as we talked about my mischievous behavior throughout that year. Now, when practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use similar humor when providing psychoeducational lessons.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This forms a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

This is where crass humor comes into play. In a blogpost entitled ABCDE Reimagined, I stated:

To provide an oversimplified example of this reimagined ABCDE chain, consider the following:

Adversity – Your clogged toilet overflows and is now spilling urine and feces on your bathroom floor.

Bullshit – Although the literally shitty situation soils the floor from an A-C [Action-Consequence] perspective, it doesn’t cause a figuratively shitty outcome from a B-C outlook.

Rather, you tell yourself some Bullshit such as, “This is terrible,” rather than merely inconvenient and, “I can’t stand this,” instead of admitting that while unpleasant you can tolerate and accept the adverse event.

Crappy – Because you’ve convinced yourself, using a Bullshit narrative – that you supposedly can’t stand a terrible situation – you feel Crappy and respond frantically to the Bullshit narrative in a Crappy manner.

Instead of remaining cool, calm, and collected, you feel angry, feel the pounding of your heartbeat, and frantically plunge the toilet while slipping on the piss and shit which is spilling onto your floor.

Disruption – The A-C adversity didn’t cause your reaction. Instead, you upset yourself using a Bullshit narrative that resulted in a B-C connection.

As if the literally shitty situation weren’t messy enough, the figuratively shitty outcome you’ve created for yourself doesn’t help to accomplish your interests and goals (i.e., desire to quickly resolve the matter and to do so without unnecessarily aggravating factors of the adverse event).

Therefore, you could Disrupt the Bullshit narrative by admitting that although the event is undesirable and unexpected, it isn’t terrible. It’s merely inconvenient. As well, it isn’t true that you can’t stand that the overflow occurred.

While you may not be able to literally stand while slipping on the wet floor, you can figuratively stand (tolerate) the unpleasant adversity. After all, you’re able to plunge the toilet in an attempt to resolve the issue rather than fainting from an overwhelmed psychological experience.

Efficient – Your Efficient adaptation of what instead may be considered is something like, “While I wish that this literally shitty situation wasn’t happening; it is occurring. I can make matters worse by overreacting in association with a Bullshit narrative, though I instead choose to endure adversity while resolving the issue in a rational manner.”

In consideration of my reframed perspective on the ABC model, I’ve again slightly refined my outlook. Using my modified descriptors with a subset of clients, here’s what I’ve concluded:

Adversity

Bullshit

Crappy

Dispense

Efficient

To Dispense with something means to manage without, forego, or do away with it. This term implies eliminating or getting rid of something that isn’t needed or is an obstacle, kind of like plunging a metaphorical toilet that’s clogged with Bullshit and which causes a Crappy outcome.

So far, the clients with whom I’ve used this reframe have laughed and reported that it’s easier to laugh at Adversity outside of session when applying the ABC model in accordance with this slightly refined outlook. This is similar to how my friend and I fondly recalled my fridge prank.

Presuming you understand the ABC model and accept my tactless sense of humor illustrated herein, I invite you to consider Dispensing with the Bullshit you tell yourself that leads to a Crappy situation. Adversity will inevitably occur, as I suspect an Efficient outlook may better serve your interests and goals than does an irrational perspective.

Dispense with that ish!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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