I Didn't Write the Book, and It's a Good Thing I Didn't

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In a blogpost entitled Unconditional Acceptance, I shared an aphorism from my late stepmom. She was a religious individual, as I also subscribed to the tenets of Christianity back then. Thus, from time to time, she’d say, “I didn’t write the book [Bible], and it’s a good thing I didn’t.”

What was meant by this adage is that my stepmom recognized her fallibility. Unlike Jehovah, Yahweh, Allah, or other names attributed to deities of the Abrahamic faiths, my stepmom understood that she would likely have been a vengeful and merciless god.

The same is true for me. That first flood was nothing in comparison to the unquenchable fire I would’ve already brought to all of creation. Although you may consider this admission as something akin to evil, I disagree. After all, I’m admitting my imperfection in this blogpost.

What my late stepmom and I acknowledged, some people may never admit. It’s a “good thing” that flawed human beings aren’t in the positions of gods, because we’d likely be perceived as enigmatic forces of malevolence. (Arguably, the deity of the Old Testament fit this description.)

“I didn’t write the book, and it’s a good thing I didn’t.” My stepmom’s expression reminds me to take personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) for my own reactions to displeasing events, rather than to enigmatically and malevolently oppress other people.

I’m not God. I’m not a god. I’m not even godly. Perhaps it’s a good thing that I can admit this, because instead of reigning down vengeance upon others I can instead take personal ownership for my own behavior. In light of this perspective, a book that I’ve been reading comes to mind.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Unlike a time when I practiced religion, I’m now agnostic (holding the view that any ultimate reality, such as a supreme being, is unknown and probably unknowable) about such matters. Apparently, the Stoics weren’t similarly agnostic. For example, Seneca stated (page 190):

Let Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soul—the one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one, who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world, and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.

Fate is defined as the will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do. Still, when capitalized to reflect a specific entity (i.e., “Let Fate […]”), one source states of this supernatural concept:

In ancient Greek religion and mythology, the Moirai (often known in English as the Fates—were the personifications of destiny. In certain accounts, they were considered as three sisters: Clotho (the spinner), Lachesis (the allotter), and Atropos (the inevitable, a metaphor for death), though their number and names varied over time according to the author. Their Roman equivalent is the Parcae.

The role of the Moirai was to ensure that every being, mortal and divine, lived out their destiny as it was assigned to them by the laws of the universe. For mortals, this destiny spanned their entire lives and was represented as a thread spun from a spindle. Generally, they were considered to be above even the gods in their role as enforcers of fate, although in some representations, Zeus, the chief of the gods, is able to command them.

Density is defined as a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency. Similar to the concept of Fate, the matter of Destiny (i.e., capitalized name) implies a supernatural presence. According to one source:

Fate is the future scenario, which cannot be determined by decisions an individual will make. However, Destiny is about the present, where every decision an individual has made has led them to their present scenario.

Personally, I invoke Hitchens’s razor—what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence, as well as the Sagan standard— extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. There’s too little time in life than to subscribe to nonsensical ideas.

In any event, I appreciate Seneca’s apparent advocacy for personal ownership. Regarding his perspective, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 190):

Whatever happens today, let it find us prepared and active: ready for problems, ready for difficulties, ready for people to behave in disappointing or confusing ways, ready to accept and make it work for us. Let’s not wish we could turn back time or remake the universe according to our preference. Not when it would be far better and far easier to remake ourselves.

“I didn’t write the book, and it’s a good thing I didn’t.” Besides, I wouldn’t even know where to start when making or remaking the world. Therefore, as advocated by the authors, I can instead remake myself by taking personal ownership for my reactions. No flooding or fires are required.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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