Irreverent Communication: Use of Sarcasm, Snark, and Cynicism

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Photo credit (edited), property of Walt Disney Feature Animation, fair use

There’s a scene in the film The Little Mermaid (1989) in which Flounder, best friend to Ariel (mermaid protagonist), uses irreverent communication when conversing with King Triton (Ariel’s dad). Describing the adventures upon which he embarked with Ariel, Flounder states:

First, uh, this shark chases us. Yeah, yeah! And we tried to—but we couldn’t! And he [making growling sounds]. And, and we—wooaahh! Ahh! And then we were safe. But then this seagull came, and it was ‘this is this, and that is that.”

Flounder mocked a know-it-all seagull when using irreverent communication. For context, “irreverent” means lacking proper respect or seriousness. For instance, Flounder acted out his disdainful perspective of the seagull by scrunching his face and placing his fins on his hips.

“Communication” refers to a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior. In The Little Mermaid, Flounder uses both verbal and nonverbal communication to express irreverence concerning the seagull.

When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), a form of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), I use irreverent communication which was also advocated during my training for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), also serving as a form of CBT. Per one source:

DBT therapists use irreverent communication when a client is stuck or spiraling into emotional overwhelm. The aim is to increase engagement by ‘shaking up’ established ways of thinking, feeling and acting.

Irreverent strategies, just like reciprocal strategies, must come from a position of compassion for the client. At its most basic, irreverence involves using a matter-of-fact or confrontational tone to discuss subjects that often are not discussed or skirted around.

Irreverent communication can also include unexpected humor or the therapist behaving in a way that surprises the client as it is not ‘expected therapist behaviour’. The use of mild ‘surprise’ can bring a client’s attention back to the present and focus on solving the problem at hand.

I maintain that irreverent communication is a helpful tool for disputation of irrational beliefs, regarding the ABC model of REBT. Using Flounder’s behavior as an example of this technique, suppose that a client reports unhelpfully believing that she absolutely must strive for perfection.

When this individual is unable to attain the flawless standard which her unhelpful demand dictates (Action), she then Believes, “I ought to try harder, because I can’t stand being fallible!” With this unproductive attitude, the client then experiences unnecessary worry (Consequence).

When Disputing her unfavorable assumption, mimicking the unproductive Belief – though not the client herself, I may say something like, “And this is this, and that is that; I’ll never be perfect and that’s just awful, isn’t it? Besides, I’m nothing if not perfect, isn’t that right?”

As I use irreverent communication to illustrate how unaccommodating her self-narrative is, the client may then helpfully use an Effective new belief such as, “Although I’d prefer to do things perfectly, a good enough standard of living is more in alignment with my interests and goals.”

Regarding this helpful tool, one source states, “Irreverent communication has an ‘off-beat’ flavour and ‘uses logic to weave a web’ of surprise,” and, “Although it is highly responsive to the client, it is almost never the kind of response the client expects.”

An important point to understand when using irreverent communication is that it’s performed with rational compassion and not malicious intent. Also, this type of humorous approach to mental, emotional, and behavioral health can be used with sarcasm, snark, and cynicism.

“Sarcasm” is a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual.” However, when I employ the use of sarcasm with irreverent communication, I direct it against a belief and not an individual.

“Snark” is merely an attitude or expression of mocking irreverence and sarcasm. As shown herein, I mocked an imaginary client’s belief when snarkily using a quote from Flounder. I did so to illustrate how a know-it-all belief, much like an animated seagull, can be irrational.

“Cynicism” refers to a cynical (contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives) attitude or quality. In the Flounder dispute demonstrated herein, I expressed cynicism of a client’s belief about how supposedly “awful” it would be not to achieve perfection.

This was an effective method of highlighting irony (incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result), as imperfection is arguably unattainable in life. A dispute of this kind is unexpectedly off-beat and can be rather effective.

Ultimately, I find that irreverent communication which uses sarcasm, snark, and cynicism is well-received by most of the clients with whom I work (though not all). Perhaps when disputing your own irrational beliefs you can try this method and see if this tool works for you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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