Meaning Through Work

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When living in San Diego, California, I met person X whose dad purchased a 1969 Chevrolet Camaro for his son. Apparently, person X’s dad enjoyed muscle cars in his younger years and wanted a father-son project to work on during person X’s high school years.

Person X was an adult when we met, so I saw the completed project. It was a blue Camaro with bold white racing stripes. Although the artificial intelligence image above doesn’t quite represent the subjective magnificence of the vehicle, it provides a decent depiction of the project.

Interestingly, person X’s dad was an engineer who was said to have had an ulterior motive when originally purchasing the damaged car. “He knew about the gangs in the neighborhood,” person X explained, “and wanted a project that would keep me busy and out of trouble.”

Additionally, when I discussed retirement plans with person X’s dad—an individual who managed multimillion dollar government projects as a profession, I was surprised by his expressed interest and goal. I thought he may’ve wanted to pursue government contracts.

“What I wanna do when I retire,” the older man said to me, “is work at The Home Depot or Lowe’s, for maybe four hours a day, sorting nuts and bolts. I don’t wanna be in charge of anyone nor have anything to do with customer service. I just want to have meaning through work.”

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), work is defined as “any physical, mental, or emotional activity directed toward accomplishing a task or transforming inputs in the form of physical materials, information, and other resources into goods or services.”

I was surprised to learn that an accomplished engineer wanted what seemed like so little for his inevitable transition from a career to a menial job during planned retirement. For further context, the APA thusly defines meaning:

[T]he cognitive or emotional significance of a word or sequence of words, or of a concept, sign, or symbolic act. This may include a range of implied or associated ideas (connotative meaning) as well as a literal significance (denotative meaning).

Colloquially, “meaning” relates to a significant quality, especially an implication of a hidden or special significance. Now, juxtapose this description with how the APA defines meaninglessness:

[A] pervasive sense of the absence of significance, direction, or purpose. A sense of meaninglessness regarding one’s life or life in general is sometimes a focal issue in psychotherapy. The perception of meaninglessness poses the central problem that the existential approach attempts to solve or accommodate.  

Person X’s dad taught me an invaluable lesson on meaning. First, through his purchase of a Camaro for his son, the older man established purpose (the reason something is done or used). Working on the vehicle was the objective.

As the purpose was fulfilled, meaning resulted. In this way, worth was a byproduct of the objective. Ergo, purpose (i.e., work) and meaning (i.e., worth) were the underlying reason person X was bestowed a damaged car. Value was forged through time spent restoring the Camaro.

Not only did person X have a pristine collector’s item by the time he graduated high school, the father-son project afforded both person X and his dad the opportunity to have bonded over a shared experience. That was an irreplaceable lesson on purpose and meaning for them both.

Second, person X’s dad told me, “Sure, I could sit on a beach while sipping piña coladas, but how long do I have before that becomes boring? After about a month, I’d be driving myself crazy with nothing to do, other than getting wasted on a beach!”

Thus, I learned that purpose and meaning were necessary upon retiring from one’s professional career. I’ve since shared this important lesson with many people since I learned it from my time in San Diego. Now, I’m reminded of the significance of meaning through work, as I read a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote Stoic philosopher Seneca who stated, “Work nourishes noble minds” (page 169). Given this perspective, I wonder if person X’s dad was familiar with Stoic philosophy. In any event, authors of The Daily Stoic state of Seneca’s view (page 169):

You know that feeling you get when you haven’t been to the gym in a few days? A bit doughy. Irritable. Claustrophobic. Uncertain. Others get a similar feeling when they’ve been on vacation for too long or right after they first retire. The mind and the body are there to be used—they begin to turn on themselves when not put to some productive end.

All too well, I know the experience described by the authors. Not only if or when I take time off from physical training, though when I overindulge in food that isn’t healthy, my mind and body start to turn on themselves. Things can become unhealthy very quickly!

Therefore, I value maintaining purpose (e.g., routine physical fitness) and meaning (e.g., worth derived from self-care—i.e., wellness stemming from mental, emotional, and behavioral health) on a daily basis. Regarding this approach to rational living, the authors state (page 169):

It’s sad to think that this kind of frustration is an everyday reality for a lot of people. They leave so much of their potential unfulfilled because they have jobs where they don’t really do much or because they have too much time on their hands.

Worse is when we try to push these feelings away by buying things, going out, fighting, creating drama—indulging in the empty calories of existence instead of finding the real nourishment. The solution is simple and, thankfully, always right at hand. Get out there and work.

When discussing the value of meaning through work with clients, I’ve had some people decide to discontinue the REBT services I provide. Unhelpfully, a rejection of personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) of this kind isn’t all that uncommon.

Why take ownership for one’s own outcomes when that’s ostensibly what a psychotherapist is paid for, right? Besides, getting one’s hands dirty while working on a proverbial 1969 Camaro isn’t fun or exciting, is it? Sorting nuts and bolts upon one’s own retirement isn’t either, is it?

Fun and excitement aren’t the purpose! Worth derived from work is the point, isn’t it? That’s a hard sell for people who absolutely or conditionally refuse to take personal ownership for their own outcomes. So, these are the people metaphorically drinking themselves to death on a beach.

Is that the outcome you want for your life? If not, then I invite you to consider meaning through work. Exploring purpose and experiencing the meaning derived from work is what I’m selling here. As well, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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