Paradoxical Intention: Doing the Opposite

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus who stated, “What assistance can we find in the fight against habit? Try the opposite” (page 198). Similar to this recommendation, I stated in a blogpost entitled What if in the Opposite Direction:

Helpfully, a number of my clients have told me they appreciate a tool which I refer to as “what if in the opposite direction.” Using this technique, one applies the elegant solution (granting the premise of a what if narrative) and turns what if into an opportunity for helpful planning.

Discussing this tool, I stated in a blogpost entitled Anxiety About Freezing Weather, “what if’ questioning in the form of preparation could actually reduce one’s level of self-disturbance. For example, ‘What if a pipe bursts? I can just turn off the water connection.”

An LFT [low frustration tolerance] perspective uses what if in the direction of fear and anxiety. Thus, what if in the opposite direction is an HFT [high frustration tolerance] tool that uses what if in the direction of tolerance and acceptance.

So, what if someone reads this post and instead of focusing on the intended message the person is distracted by my poor writing technique? What if this occurs and I’m able to withstand the notion that not everyone will appreciate my writing?

What if I ultimately determine that everyone in my imagination or the real world is right and that I’m an incompetent behavioral health care provider? What if I die with the knowledge that I at least tried to help other people before I went – and did so as a fallible human being?

What if, what if, what it? If you’ve found that the narrative of fear and anxiety hasn’t served you well, I invite you to use the helpful tool of what if in the opposite direction. What if it doesn’t work? Well, what if it does?

I use this helpful technique when disputing many irrational beliefs, and encourage my clients to also do so. Noteworthy, the tool of “what if in the opposite direction” represents a paradox which the American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines:

[A] surprising or self-contradictory statement that may nevertheless be true. In philosophy, paradoxes are traditionally classified as logical or semantic.

A logical paradox occurs when apparently valid arguments lead to a conclusion that seems contradictory or absurd. For example: God is omnipotent: Omnipotent beings can do anything: Therefore, God can make a stone so big he cannot move it: Therefore, he is not omnipotent.

A semantic paradox arises from the words in a proposition. For example: This sentence is not true. The language of paradox is particularly common in poetry and religion, where it may be used to disrupt conventional ways of thinking and perceiving.

The tool of “what if in the opposite direction” is a form of logical paradox. An individual realizes that distressing or disturbing oneself with a “what if” narrative is the sort of script that causes anxiousness and fear. Still, using a “what if” narrative can also alleviate this experience.

I invite you to try this tool and see the results for yourself. If you genuinely believe that “what if” can lead to a negative or positive outcome, then doing the opposite in the form of paradoxical practice can make a big difference. About this, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 198):

Viktor Frankl, the brilliant psychologist and Holocaust survivor, cured patients suffering from phobias or neurotic habits using a method he called “paradoxical intention.” Let’s say a patient couldn’t sleep.

The standard therapy would have been something obvious, like relaxation techniques. Frankl instead encouraged the patient to try not to fall asleep. He found that shifting focus off the problem deflected the patient’s obsessive attention away from it and allowed them to eventually sleep normally.

Initially, focusing on not being able to sleep seems like something that would induce sleeplessness. Yet, Frankl apparently realized that intentional use of paradox could lead to a desired outcome. For further information, the APA thusly defines paradoxical intention:

[A] psychotherapeutic technique used for anxiety disorders in which the individual is asked to magnify a distressing, unwanted symptom. For example, an individual who is afraid of shaking in a social situation would be instructed to imagine the feared situation and purposely exaggerate the shakiness.

The aim is to help such individuals distance themselves from their symptoms, often by appreciating the humorous aspects of their exaggerated responses. In this way, they can learn that the predicted catastrophic consequences attributed to their symptoms are unlikely to occur.

Exaggerating a response of panic when imagining a social situation can be a bit humorous to perform, as you may then wonder how paradoxical intention—doing the opposite—could possibly help with sleep disturbance. Addressing this matter, one source thusly says (page 239):

As the name implies this treatment strategy employs a form of reverse psychology to address sleep difficulties. Designed mainly to address the excessive performance anxiety that contributes to sleep onset difficulties, this treatment instructs the insomnia sufferer to remain awake as long as possible after retiring to bed.

In essence, the insomnia sufferer is placed in the paradoxical position of having to perform the activity of not sleeping when in bed. If the individual complies and genuinely tries to remain awake in bed, performance anxiety over not sleeping is alleviated and sleep becomes less difficult to initiate.

Like the other treatments, an initial visit to provide treatment instructions and follow-up sessions to support the patient and ensure compliance are usually recommended when administering this intervention.

This tool can be used with fingernail-biting, thumb-sucking, hair-twirling, and other unwanted behaviors. Again, I encourage you to give paradoxical intention a try and discover what results for you when doing the opposite. About this tool, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 198):

Fans of the TV show Seinfeld might remember an episode called “The Opposite” where George Costanza magically improves his life by doing the opposite of whatever he’d normally do.

“If every instinct you have is wrong,” Jerry says to him, “then the opposite would have to be right.” The larger point is that sometimes our instincts or habits get stuck in a bad pattern that pushes us further from our natural, healthy selves.

Back when I practiced life coaching without knowing how to professionally address the problems of people, I used a similar approach as Jerry. “Hey, sergeant,” a Marine would say, “every time I find someone I like, I end up ruining my chances by trying to be someone I’m not.”

I’d reply, “How about doing the opposite, and just being yourself?” To my surprise, this tool worked quite well when the junior Marines who sought my guidance actually used it. Of course, the tools we use less are useless, so a half-assed attempt won’t likely resolve one’s problems.

Dare I recommend for the third time that you try paradoxical intention for yourself? Suppose that you disregard my unsolicited guidance. Too bad! Maybe you’ll instead listen to authors of The Daily Stoic who conclude (page 198):

Now you shouldn’t immediately toss out everything in your life—some stuff is working (you’re reading this book!). But what if you explored opposites today? What if you broke the pattern?

Presuming you’ve made it to this point in the blogpost, then you’ve received a free tool that can addresses a number of your mental, emotional, and behavioral health problems. Whether or not you employ paradoxical intention is up to you. Sometimes, doing the opposite can actually help.

Additionally, I realize that performance of paradoxical behaviors may require that a person engage in the same, not the opposite, behavior. Herein, I’ve provided examples of both forms of paradoxical intention. If you want to help yourself, then you’re welcome to try both approaches.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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