I Guess It Must Have Been Magic

[DISCLAIMER]

I can’t recommend enough for eclectic hip hop heads to check out the 2011 album Professional Dreamers by Looptroop Rockers, a rap group from Västerås, Sweden. To me, it’s a phenomenal work of art. Herein, I’ll focus on the song “Magic” which features the artist Chords.

Before doing so, some context is needed. As discussed elsewhere within my blog, I was once married. Regarding my (thankfully) one and only personal experience with marriage, I stated in a blogpost entitled Rejected and Dejected:

[W]hen exhibiting unhealthy pair-bonding behavior regarding marriage in early adulthood, I irrationally sought to counter the undesirable experience with my mom in my youth by selecting a woman who psychologically mirrored my mother. It was an unfortunate practice […]

In childhood, I was subjected to many traumatic events by way of my mother. […] This unpleasant behavior heavily influenced how I selected the woman who later became my wife.

As delusional as it was, I believed that if I could attain the affection of a woman who would likely reject me, the dejection I endured in childhood would’ve been marvelously undone. However, this isn’t how life actually works. I was eventually rejected again.

From courtship through marriage, I was with my ex-wife for approximately four and a half years. During that time, I helped raise her daughter as though she were my own child. If asked about my sentiment toward my stepdaughter when married, I likely would’ve struggled to describe it.

This is where “Magic” by Looptroop Rockers comes into play. In particular, consider the following lyrics:

[Verse 1: Supreme]

It’s like I can’t believe it, seems too good to be true

Angie still loves me, and my daughter’s got an attitude

She came out frowning like, “Oh, shut up, you woke me up”

And now she’s trying to poke my eye out, my angel’s mighty tough

And this a fucked up world, so many things go bad

Yet, here I’m smiles and laughter, outside is cold and sad

I never went to school, but we’re making ends meet

Cos’ is back in the crew, always DVSG

Got Schumi right beside me, hard work is paying off

He lost his dad too early, survived a heavy loss

Jay might lost some money, but never lost his focus

And I’m still not religious, all that is hocus pocus

[Hook: Chords & Cosmic]

I can’t explain the feeling inside

I thought about, like, a million times

Can’t forget it, man, it’s still in my mind

I guess it must have been magic

All the things that could have gone wrong

Ever since the day I was born I…

I wondered why the feeling’s so strong

And I can’t explain it any other way

I guess it must have been magic

The first verse reminds me of the time spent with my former stepdaughter, reminiscent of how “mighty tough” she apparently was from the moment she began walking. The hook leads me to recall how I likely would’ve described how I felt at the time. Now, I’ll address these points.

First, I’ll discuss the matter of feelings. When providing psychoeducational lessons on my approach to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I invite people to consider what feelings are and aren’t. Regarding this matter, I stated in a blogpost entitled On Feelings:

[In the blogpost,] I reflected upon the colloquial use of the word “feeling.” Generally, people misapply the term when referencing thoughts, beliefs, and hunches. […]

The words we use matter. By encouraging people to appropriately use the word “feel,” or any derivative thereof, I empower others to properly communicate for the sake of understanding.

Therefore, a feeling relates to an emotion or bodily sensation. First, I may naturally feel primary emotions such as joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, or surprise—all without forethought or belief preceding the emotive experience. […]

Second, I may instinctively feel bodily sensations such as tight shoulders, a rapid heartrate, or tingling in my feet—all without forethought or belief preceding sensory experience.

Given this perspective, feelings are either emotions (e.g., joy) or sensations (e.g., tingling throughout the body). As well, feelings aren’t thoughts, beliefs, or hunches (i.e., I feel like time spent with my former stepdaughter was worthwhile).

Now, I’ll address Supreme’s use of the word “must” (i.e., I guess it must have been magic). Using the ABC model of REBT, demandingness serves as a self-disturbing form of irrational belief which often manifests with “should,” “must,” and “ought” statements.

These disturbing beliefs are characterized by absolutistic and conditional demands. As an example of the former, “I absolutely mustn’t get a divorce!” Regarding the latter, “Either I’ll stay married for life, or I mustn’t marry at all!” The distinction with use of these beliefs is rigidity.

Then, there’s a flexible form of demandingness that serves as a type of preference (i.e., preferential shoulds, etc.), recommendation (i.e., recommendatory shoulds, etc.), or description (i.e., empirical shoulds, etc.). For example, “I preferably should do what I can to stay married.”

Also, “My wife recommendatorily should try to work things out with me before seeking divorce.” Additionally, “The feeling I felt for my stepdaughter? Extraordinary! I can’t explain it any other way, so I guess it must have been magic.” With these beliefs, flexibility is at play.

Generally, I find that the people with whom I practice REBT are able to identify what types of beliefs they use, whether regarding unhealthy disturbance (e.g., depression) or healthy distress (dissatisfaction). However, recognition of their feelings is sometimes a bit more challenging.

Ostensibly, some people simply stop self-examination, throw up their hands, and describe their emotional or sensational experience as something akin to magic (the use of means, such as charms or spells, believed to have supernatural power over natural forces).

As an example, “Can you explain how you felt when using an irrational belief?” I may ask a client. “I can’t really describe it. I just felt it. It’s hard to describe. I guess it must have been magic!” the individual may reply. To this, I’d say, “I’m not certain of that; try harder to explain.”

Concluding this post, I invite you to consider: (1) that feelings are either emotions or sensations, (2) how use of rigid versus flexible beliefs causes you to feel a particular way, and (3) challenging yourself to properly identify what it is you feel when using different self-narratives.

Also, if you’re so inclined, you may want to check out the album Professional Dreamers by Looptroop Rockers. When listening to it earlier, I felt like the lyricists were speaking directly to me. It’s hard to describe. I guess it must have been magic! (See what I did there?)

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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