Practice How You Play, Play How You Practice

[DISCLAIMER]

In a blogpost entitled Practice How You Perform, I discussed a concept that I learned in childhood: Practice how you play and play how you practice. This expression was also reflected throughout my training when I served in the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps (1996-2007).

For example, the above photo is the only image I have depicting my law enforcement defensive tactics training when becoming military police (MP) while stationed aboard Fort McClellan, adjacent to Anniston, Alabama. Unhelpfully, the camera failed, as it’s hard to see me (far left).

In any event, the MP instructor of the all-male detachment of Marines told trainees “practice how you play, play how you practice.” He clarified that by “play,” he meant to fight. By “practice,” he meant to train. Thus, we were encouraged to take training seriously.

If memory serves, that was the first time I sustained a head injury when in the Corps. (It wouldn’t be my last, by a long shot.) That training was also the first time that I’d been choked unconscious, as the MP instructor performed rear naked chokes on every MP trainee.

“In order to know what it feels like,” he assured detachment members, “I’m gonna perform a chokehold on each and every one of you.” My understanding of that approach to practicing how we played was to better comprehend the severity of the defensive tactics we would one day use.

Although his unconventional methods were later investigated by the U.S. Marine Corps Criminal Investigation Division, I appreciated the MP instructor’s realistic approach to training. Now, all these years later, I’m reminded of him when reading a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

When thinking of my former MP instructor and the trainees in defensive tactics, I recall the need for grace (disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency). Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic quote Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 134):

When your sparring partner scratches or head-butts you, you don’t then make a show of it, or protest, or view him with suspicion or as plotting against you. And yet you keep an eye on him, not as an enemy or with suspicion, but with a healthy avoidance.

You should act this way with all things in life. We should give a pass to many things with our fellow trainees. For, as I’ve said, it’s possible to avoid without suspicion or hate.

Aurelius made use of preferential should statements in his quote. These are flexible advisements, rather than rigid use of absolutistic should statements. Addressing Aurelius’s helpful advisements, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 134):

By seeing each day and each situation as a kind of training exercise, the stakes suddenly become a lot lower. The way you interpret your own mistakes and the mistakes of others is suddenly a lot more generous. It’s certainly a more resilient attitude than going around acting like the stakes of every encounter put the championship on the line.

I appreciate that the authors evoked the concept of resilience. Addressing this term, the American Psychological Association states:

The process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.

A number of factors contribute to how well people adapt to adversities, predominant among them (a) the ways in which individuals view and engage with the world, (b) the availability and quality of social resources, and (c) specific coping strategies.

Psychological research demonstrates that the resources and skills associated with more positive adaptation (i.e., greater resilience) can be cultivated and practiced. Also called psychological resilience.

It took a fair amount of grace to continue training with members of the MP detachment who inadvertently struck me in the face when practicing how we played. In applying such clemency, I fostered my own psychological resilience. In conclusion, the authors state (page 134):

When you catch an elbow or an unfair blow today, shake off the pain and remind yourself: I’m learning. My sparring partner is learning too. This is practice for both of us—that’s all. I know a bit more about him or her, and from my reaction, they’re going to learn a little bit more about me too.

What I learned from my MP training was to practice how I played and play how I practiced. This transferable skillset has also benefitted me in other areas of my life, as helpfully advocated by Aurelius and authors of The Daily Stoic. Now, you can try this approach to rational living, too.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). United States Marine Corps Criminal Investigation Division. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Marine_Corps_Criminal_Investigation_Division