High and Dry: Steering a Proverbial Ship Around Unhelpful Assumptions

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote Marcus Aurelius who stated, “Everything turns on your assumptions about it, and that’s on you. You can pluck out the hasty judgment at will, and like steering a ship around the point, you will find calm seas, fair weather and a safe port” (page 314).

For context, the American Psychological Association defines an assumption as “the premise or supposition that something is factual or true; that is, the act of taking something for granted.” Per Aurelius’ view, “everything turns on your assumptions about it.”

To elucidate his perspective, Aurelius evoked the image of a proverbial (of, relating to, or resembling a proverb—a brief popular epigram or maxim) ship. As the captain of your own vessel, you can “pluck out the hasty judgment at will” to avoid a shipwreck.

This sort of imagery could be considered metaphorical (a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them), as “proverbial” and “metaphorical” are used synonymously.

However, “metaphorical” refers to a direct comparison between two unrelated things, while “proverbial” refers to a well-known cultural idiom or traditional saying. Regarding a proverbial shipwreck, I think of the idiom “high and dry” (being in a helpless or abandoned position).

This idiomatic phrase also denotes being out of reach of the current or tide or out of the water. Given this cultural idiom, a personal anecdote comes to mind. When I was enlisted in the Marine Corps (1996-2007), I was stationed aboard Camp Kinser in Okinawa, Japan (1997-1999).

Off the coast of the military installation was a shipwreck that reportedly “was registered in Taiwan and ran aground in 1986 while heading into Okinawa during a typhoon evacuation.” In the photo below, captured from my personal video, is the wrecked ship during a storm.

As the shipwreck clearly wasn’t “out of reach” of tide or “out of the water,” it evidently was “in a helpless or abandoned position.” Therefore, it was left high and dry from 1986 until it was reportedly cleaned up for “environmental safety reasons” in 2006.

The Camp Kinser wreckage reminds me of Aurelius’ proverbial ship, as it applies to “everything” you may encounter when faced with proverbially rough seas in life. To elucidate this point, I invite you to consider an example from one of the main techniques used in REBT.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unfavorable narrative about the event, it’s your unhelpful assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

From an A-C view, a typhoon (Action) may cause a literal shipwreck, leaving a seagoing vessel high and dry (Consequence). Yet, from a B-C perspective, a proverbial ship isn’t wrecked in a similar manner, because it’s your unhelpful assumptions which may run your ship aground.

For example, someone bumps into you (Action), you Believe, “He’s worthless [G], and I can’t abide this [L], because it’s terrible not to have my personal boundaries respected [A], so I should shove him [D],” and with this unhelpful assumption you then experience anger (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Using an Effective new belief, Aurelius stated, “Everything turns on your assumptions about it, and that’s on you. You can pluck out the hasty judgment at will, and like steering a ship around the point, you will find calm seas, fair weather and a safe port” (page 314).

Whether or not you’ll be left high and dry during an undesirable event is up to you. As the captain of your proverbial ship, you can steer around unhelpful assumptions. If you choose not to do so, then you may be “in a helpless or abandoned position,” having caused your own wreck.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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