Self-Reflection: That Ignorant Kid, He’s Still Livin’ Inside of Me

[DISCLAIMER]

For whatever reason, as of late, the shuffle feature that selects music for my daily self-care in the form of physical training has continually featured lyricist R.A. the Rugged Man’s third studio album All My Heroes Are Dead (2020). I’m grateful for this experience, especially the music.

This morning, I heard the lyricist’s song “Life of the Party”, featuring the talented singer Eamon, and which was produced by Prince Paul. A reflective track, R.A. the Rugged Man addresses the behavior of his younger years, as juxtaposed with how he acts in his later years.

For context, reflection is defined as an instance of reflecting (to think quietly and calmly, often used with on or upon), as in reflecting a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation: consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose.

As well, the American Psychological Association defines self-reflection as “examination, contemplation, and analysis of one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. The condition of or capacity for this is called self-reflexivity.”

While listening to the track, feeling every bit of movement for squats and deadlifts this morning, I related to what the lyricist expressed. Currently, 20 years ago seems like it was only last week. Yet, regarding sensations, my body self-reflexively doesn’t feel as it did two decades ago.

Similarly, when trying to focus on my workout while also concentrating on what the lyricist was saying, I reflected upon my life from 30 years ago. It was in September of 1996 that I joined the United States Marine Corps, as three decades ago have seemingly flown by.

Back then, I endured quite a bit of ignorance (lack of knowledge, education, or awareness). A couple years before enlisting in the Marines, I was even more ignorant as a kid (a young person, a term often used as a generalized reference to one especially younger or less experienced).

R.A. the Rugged Man reflected a similar experience, as he stated, “Gun-totin’, grenade-holdin’, fights that I’m in; I’m winnin’ ‘em. But I’m getting older. I’m trying to keep the ignorance to the minimum.” That pretty much sums up my life from around 16-years-old to 29-years-old.

From the view of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), when engaging in present self-reflection, I use unconditional acceptance (UA) regarding how ignorant I was — and concerning the nonadaptive behavior I exhibited. Additionally, I use UA in acknowledgement of the present.

On “Life of the Party”, R.A. the Rugged Man reflected this matter by stating, “I’m a chill dude now. At least, I try to be. I calmed down, but don’t try me. That ignorant kid, he’s still livin’ inside of me.” I, too, have taken many rigorous steps not to repeat the mistakes of my past.

I’ve engaged in “gun-totin’, grenade-holdin’” behavior, as well as getting into “fights,” to reflect R.A. the Rugged Man’s admission. That sort of behavior is like a second nature to me, as REBT is harder than what comes natural to me. Thus, that ignorant kid is “still livin’ inside of me.”

Ergo, I practice UA, engage in self-reflection, and use daily self-care to keep from letting my regular, irrational self to guide my behavior. At least, I do so imperfectly. A lot has changed over the past 30 years. All the same, I’m still a fallible human being — and always will be.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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