Keep Calm and Carry On

[DISCLAIMER]

When serving as military police (MP) in the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps, I responded to bomb threats (threats, verbal or written, to detonate an explosive or incendiary device to cause property damage, death, injuries, and/or incite fear, whether or not such a device actually exists).

Then, when serving as a Marine Security Guard (MSG), I received specialized training for how to respond to such threats. This was especially important, because of U.S. embassy bombings which occurred a year before I became an MSG. About this matter, one source states:

The 1998 United States embassy bombings were a series of attacks that occurred on August 7, 1998. More than 220 people were killed in two nearly simultaneous truck bomb explosions in two East African capital cities, one at the United States embassy in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and the other at the United States embassy in Nairobi, Kenya.

Thus, MSGs in the U.S. consulate and embassy in which I served monitored for explosive and incendiary devices on a daily basis. Following MSG duty, I returned to routine operations as an MP. That included additional response calls to bomb threats regarding U.S. military personnel.

Following my military service, I thought that bomb threats were a chapter of my past. Then, when attending graduate school for social work at the University of Texas (UT) at Austin’s School of Social Work (now Steve Hicks School of Social Work), another treat occurred.

In 2012, a bomb threat was received by UT authorities. Although many of the feminist academic peers with whom I attended class often expressed pride in their dissociation from the patriarchy (a social system in which positions of authority are primarily held by men), they relied on me.

“Why are y’all gathering behind me?” I asked a group of women as we proceeded to a designated safety zone off the UT campus. One of my peers replied, “Because you look like you know what you’re doing. You’re the only one not freaking out right now.”

I looked around at the fast-moving cluster of students. Indeed, many people were in tears and appeared to be terrified. Yet, I was calm. My military training as an MP and MSG prepared me for moments in which traumatic events provided people with an opportunity to self-disturb.

Still, my internal response to the ordeal was conflicted. On one hand, I wasn’t prepared to function as a shrapnel sponge for the predominately female cohort of future social workers who openly expressed contempt for all males. They could’ve perished, for all I was concerned.

On the other hand, I recalled my commitment to the protection of others. For instance, as an MP, I used to train subordinate Marines on how to, during dangerous events, remain calm (free from agitation, excitement, or disturbance). Now, I reflect upon that inner conflict as I read a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

One of the personally least desirable aspects of this book is that the authors tend to make appeals to military experience, though I’m not certain they know the first thing about military service. Nonetheless, I tolerate their behavior as they quote Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 192):

If then it’s not that the things you pursue or avoid are coming at you, but rather that you in a sense are seeking them out, at least try to keep your judgment of them steady, and they too will remain calm and you won’t be seen chasing after or fleeing from them.

Regarding a number of my UT peers, I heard women expressing dissatisfaction with the quality of intimate partner relationships they had. Commonly, I heard something to the effect of, “Why do I keep attracting the same kind of people, as if I’m never going to find anyone good for me?”

Unlike the immediacy of a clear hazard (e.g., a bomb threat), many of these women voiced concern about what Aurelius described regarding the ability (or inability) to keep calm during turbulent times. Regarding this matter, I think of a social campaign described by one source:

Keep Calm and Carry On was a motivational poster produced by the Government of the United Kingdom in 1939 in preparation for World War II. The poster was intended to raise the morale of the British public, threatened with widely predicted mass air attacks on major cities.

What some of my UT peers failed to understand, whether it regarded a bomb threat or their romantic relationships, was that keeping calm and carrying on is a Stoic practice whereby an individual can become self-reliant concerning the impermanence and uncertainty of life.

Therein remained an internal conflict, as I was well-versed in REBT and could’ve helped my peers to un-disturb. Yet, the individuals who bemoaned their circumstances also expressed lamentation with my sex and gender. Therefore, I simply chose to let them experience suffering.

A bomb may explode as you attend class. That’s not good. You may unconsciously be attracted to intimate partners who don’t value your interests and goals. That’s not good either. You can’t control and influence most matters in life. Thus, it’s worth focusing on what you can control.

This is the essence of Stoicism. It’s what allows a former MP and MSG to attend classes with radical feminists who scream like deluded banshees, walk calmly during a bomb threat event, and tolerate authors who questionably appeal to military tradition. This is self-control.

Helpfully, one doesn’t have to go through military training in order to benefit from Stoic practice. That’s especially a fortunate consideration for authors who ostensibly LARP as members of a military or veteran cohort. Namely, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 192):

There is a maxim that Navy SEALs pass from officer to officer, man to man. In the midst of chaos, even in the fog of war, their battle-tested advice is this: “Calm is contagious.”

Especially when that calm is coming from the man or woman in charge. If the men begin to lose their wits, if the group is unsure of what to do next, it’s the leader’s job to do one thing: instill calm—not by force but by example.

I’m going to take the high road and not go in-depth by expanding upon the “man or woman in charge” reference to the U.S. Navy SEALs. The authors’ appeal to gender-ambivalent leadership is laughable! Moving on.

I recall that during both my MP and MSG training, I was taught to remain calm and carry on if a bomb threat was received. “When I was in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania,” one MSG instructor stated, “we were slipping on the blood of people all around us. Eyeballs were hanging out of heads!”

That describes a pretty gruesome scene. “All the same,” the instructor continued, “me and the other MSGs were focused on securing the parameter. People looked to us for a sense of calm. How would they have reacted if we were losing our shit right along with them?”

He made a logical and reasonable point. The instructor was advocating Stoic practice in accordance with what Aurelius advised. Similarly, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 192):

That’s who you want to be, whatever your line of work: the casual, relaxed person in every situation who tells everyone else to take a breath and not to worry. Because you’ve got this. Don’t be the agitator, the paranoid, the worrier, or the irrational. Be the calm, not the liability. It will catch on.

The statement “you’ve got this” is a matter of high frustration tolerance. In REBT, this rational belief serves as a method of building resilience. That’s the quintessence of an ability to tolerate and accept the temporariness and ambiguity of life. Favorably, you can develop it as a civilian.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

References:

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