At Any Moment, in This Moment, We Can Be Gone
When conducting physical training earlier this morning, as part of my daily self-care regimen, I allowed my mind to wander. As is commonly the case, I was reminded of the inaccessible past. In particular, I thought of a childhood friend, about whom I stated in a blogpost entitled Mac:
If memory serves, I met Mac in 1992 when I was a resident at a children’s home. The cottage in which I lived was sponsored by a local Church of Christ (CoC) congregation that was attended by Mac and his family.
Upon meeting, Mac and I became friends and I looked forward to seeing him at youth group functions. During the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school, a family from the same CoC congregation took me into their home under legal guardian status.
With more liberty afforded to me than when I lived in the children’s home, Mac and I were able to spend more time together outside of official church functions. After receiving my driver license and securing transportation, Mac and I frequently explored the streets of Bomb City. […]
Recently, I learned that Mac died. Now, he’s become yet another individual whose face I no longer will redact when posting blog content, as I do this for those people who’ve departed this world (and for my dad who’s still among the living). […]
Now, I don’t pretend as though I’ll one day reunite with Mac in another life. Instead, I write a blogpost in his honor and as a means of sayin’ goodbye in my own way. Mac may not be watching my back in an imaginary afterlife, though he damn sure watched it at one point in life.
For his presence in the relatively brief time that I knew him, I’m grateful to have called Mac a friend in the calles and a brother in the CoC. May those who’ve self-disturbed with unfavorable beliefs about his passing find peace. Rest easy, homie. One.
Perhaps Mac came to my mind earlier today, because I heard the song “Do More, Say Less” by lyricist Big Pooh (of rap group Little Brother), featuring lyricist Sha Stimuli and produced by Trox, from the album DEMOS: Music Inspired by the Documentary (2013), on which Big Pooh states, “At any moment, in this moment, we can be gone!”
I’ve long-accepted the fact that each and every fallible human being will inescapably die. For instance, when thinking about Mac earlier this morning while working out, I healthily used a technique of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), which I’ll now share with you.
REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding my circle of control and USA, I acknowledge that, as a fallible human being, I won’t live forever. Concerning my circle of influence and UOA, I further admit that other flawed individuals, such as Mac, will (and most certainly do!) die.
Relating to my circle of concern and ULA, I recognize that, as expressed by Big Pooh, “At any moment, in this moment, we can be gone.” Pertaining to my area of no concern, I don’t waste what relatively little time I have left in this life contemplating whether or not there’s an afterlife.
Just as Mac has departed this plane of existence, so, too, will I. (Hopefully sooner than later!) Until that moment, which could be at any moment, I’ll continue learning how to die by living rationally. Perhaps you recommendatorily should do the same. One.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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