Back in the Day

[DISCLAIMER]

I was born and, with exception of about two years, raised in Amarillo, Texas—colloquially known as Bomb City. From my sophomore to senior years of high school, I attended Amarillo High School (AHS)—home of the Sandies (mascot name, short for the “Golden Sandstorm”).

During my junior year, when he was only 18-years-old, rapper Ahmad released his album Ahmad (1994) which contained the track “Back in the Day”, featuring a sample of the Teddy Pendergrass song “Love T.K.O.” from the album TP (1980). It was quite popular!

According to one source, “Back in the Day” is “a nostalgic remembrance of childhood and young teenage years, from a somewhat jaded adult perspective.” The chorus states, “Back in the days, when I was young, I’m not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again.”

For the summer before my senior year (1995), Ahmad’s song was played in virtually every place that hip hop music could be found. As an example, Deana E. played it on KACV-FM 90. At the time, I didn’t consider that the moment would one day serve as nostalgic remembrance for me.

Yet, here I am. Listening to “Back in the Day” before drafting the current blogpost, I now recall many of the trends the rapper addressed on the song. Considering that Ahmad reminisced about his childhood and young teenage years which were within a decade of the song’s release is wild!

Over three decades since I graduated from AHS, I now think of how people for whom I provide care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), predominately using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), use a jaded adult perspective about the past.

Thus, I invite these individuals to consider that REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Relating to the circle of control and USA, people may acknowledge that it’s disempowering to dwell on matters which they can’t change, and admit that it’s empowering to focus on what they can control. For example, people can control how they react to memories from back in the day.

Concerning the circle of influence and UOA, individuals can admit that other people may lament the past, yet each person has exceedingly limited control and influence over most matters in life. For instance, I likely have little ability to influence how former AHS alumni view the past.

Regarding the circle of concern and ULA, people would do well to understand that life is impermanent and uncertain. As an example, the moment I post this blog entry it will have been released to the past, as I have no idea how it will be received or if it will even be read by anyone.

On the subject of the area of no concern, individuals may realize that this is the realm of imagination. At current, given limitations of fallible human beings, it’s inaccessible. Case in point, any moment that is back in the day isn’t able to be accessed in the current instant.

Given this UA view, I haven’t lived in Bomb City—the place to which I still refer as “home”—since 2012, as I’ve now resided in Austin, Texas for over a decade. Nevertheless, I think about the ‘90s at AHS when I learned about the Ogallala Aquifer, from which Amarillo water stems.

Specifically, I’ve paid attention to the reported “hyperscale data centers that are rapidly consuming [Amarillo] land, water, and power,” as Amarillo residents have reportedly opposed “five planned data centers and inform[ed] others of the potential risks to the Ogallala Aquifer.”

As a person who can control only my reaction to data centers plaguing my home in Bomb City (USA), I comprehend that I likely have no actual influence over those who will rob the Ogallala Aquifer to support data centers (UOA), so I place this matter into my circle of concern (ULA).

Back in the day, I suspect people who were proud Texas citizens—that have a storied history of rebelling against existential threats—would’ve strongly opposed those who are ostensibly erecting the likely end to civilization as it’s currently known in the place that I call home.

Of course, that was back in the day, and not in the current instant. Ergo, as Ahmad stated on his most popular track, “Sometimes, I still sit and reminisce, then, think about the years I was raised, back in the days.” I appreciate what was, as I accept what is. (What else could I possibly do?)

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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