Whatever You Say

[DISCLAIMER]

In 2003, the group Little Brother, then comprised of lyricists Phonte and Big Pooh, and producer 9th Wonder, released their debut studio album The Listening. Although 9th Wonder departed the group in 2007, Little Brother remains one of my favorite hip hop collectives till this day.

The Listening contained track “Whatever You Say” that featured samples from several other songs, as was common of 9th Wonder’s memorable mixing style. Then, in 2007, the album 9th Wonder & Pete Rock “Class is in Session” was released, featuring producer Pete Rock.

It contained my preferred remix of the track, “Whatever You Say (Remix II)”, which has strong competition from other remixed versions of the original song. I invite you to listen to whichever variety of the track you can find, and choose whatever (anything or everything that) you prefer.

In any event, regarding the expression “whatever you say,” one source states that it’s a “phrase uttered in an argument with a person who doesn’t actually want to have a discussion, but just wants to be right.” Thus, it’s a form of agreement or compliance, as to forego disaccord.

As a quicker version of this phrase, it isn’t uncommon for people to simply say “whatever.” For example, if you say, “Are you crazy? I’m not reading a post about a hip hop group!” I could then respond, “Whatever.” As it pertains to Little Brother, the chorus of “Whatever You Say” states:

Hey, yo, that’s alright, girl. Whatever you say.

Whatever you say. Whatever you say.

Yo, that’s alright, girl. Whatever you say.

Whatever you say. Whatever you say.

Don’t worry ‘bout it, girl. Whatever you say.

Whatever you say. Whatever you say.

Okay, alright. Whatever you say.

Whatever you say. Whatever you say.

When considering this matter, I think of a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Specifically, I invite you to incorporate into your internal narrative the helpful phrase whatever you say as a tool for irrational beliefs. Allow me to explain.

REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) as a helpful tool to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding your circle of control and USA, your beliefs may try persuading your mind that you control elements outside yourself. With limited exceptions, such as physically restraining someone, you’re unable to exercise control. Thus, you mostly have control of only yourself.

Your beliefs: You can control this intimate partner relationship by setting rigid forms of demands!

Your mind: Hey, yo, that’s alright. Whatever you say.

Concerning your circle of influence and UOA, your beliefs may then attempt to convince your mind that you can exert influence where no such effect exists. Although you may earnestly try to encourage others to do as you demand or request, they have the ability to refuse your appeals.

Your beliefs: You can influence this romantic partner by setting inflexible ultimatums, such as conditional mandates (if-then, or either-or)!

Your mind: Don’t worry ‘bout it. Whatever you say.

Relating to your circle of concern and ULA, your beliefs could try assuring your mind that you absolutely should concern yourself with matters over which you have no control or influence. Yet, as has always been the case, even if you’ve believed otherwise, you have limited impact.

Your beliefs: If you can’t control or influence the person with whom you’re in love today, then you better be concerned that you’ll never be able to make any meaningful impact on future lovers, just as you haven’t done in the past!

Your mind: Okay, alright. Whatever you say.

Pertaining to your area of no concern, an imaginary realm where anyone with whom you’ve ever been in love has no free will or personal agency upon which to rely and therefore will do whatever you demand, why wouldn’t you want slavery of this sort to remain a non-concern?

Your beliefs: In another dimension, your lovers would worship you!

Your mind: Whatever you say. Whatever you say.

Notice that in each of these examples, I’ve drawn a distinction between your beliefs (something that is accepted, considered to be true, or held as an opinion) and your mind (the organized conscious and nonconscious adaptive or maladaptive mental activity of an organism).

Whereas your brain is a physical organ, the mind is the abstract function of the brain. Within the mind are intangible beliefs. Generally speaking, one’s mind is what forms a person’s character. In short, it’s you. Yet, you aren’t your beliefs any more than your material fingernails are you.

Hearing this, you may simply reply, “Whatever you say.” That’s okay. You wouldn’t be the first, and I doubt that you’ll be the last, person to shrug off my conceptualization of the brain, mind, and beliefs. Whatever.

Now, presuming that you comprehend how the Little Brother approach to rational living can serve as a method of properly sorting your attention, you can apply a whatever you say script to matters which aren’t well-aligned with your interests and goals, or whatever.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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